Moopyvision 2000-2009: Round 1 - Sweden, UK & Macedonia RESULTS

I truly had no idea how to go about ranking that 100% Macedonia song. I just went on instinct :disco:

Although Macedonia was a barrage of surprise treats it must be said
 
Yeah 100% was a trip. It started off quite well and I wondered if this WAS in fact the racket I was introduced to only this year.

But yes… saying the wheels fell off does it a disservice. It was more like a 4-wheel blowout and explosive crash into an oil refinery
 
24 votes this week - not a bad haul, though I WILL be expecting some of you who were loyalists last time round to be turning out for future rounds (EYES ON YOU @Lucille & @Dark Carnival :hitler:)

Are we ready for some RESULTS from 3.30?
 
Incidentally, I'm going to need someone on INSTAGRAM duties to show us the state of them all nowadays.
 
10th: Martin Stenmarck - Las Vegas (15 points)
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Go on girl, give us nothing! :disco:

Possibly the standout instance in the decade of a nation dropping the ball in its televised selection, gays across a continent were left horrified and tutting after having their Pavlovian instincts whetted in the high-wattage 2005 final by Sweden’s flag coming up, only for an OC-haired heterosexual to come manspreading out with a bevy of whores in the latest Juicy Couture fashions of the time and a song with all the excitement of an X Factor Big Band week. To add insult to injury, gays doing the extra reading have spent the years since being aghast on finding out it denied us THIS mad old witch manspreading out with a bevy of whores and chubby guitarists in the latest Juicy Cou-[someone give this sentence a better ending for me please cheers thanks x]. Fine, he made it up to us later to some extent with a fuckable bald phase and a fairly listenable Melodifestivalen comeback nearly a decade later, but some crimes truly do DEFY FORGIVENESS

With an overwhelming dismissal of a score from Moopy matched only by the likes of So Lucky and That’s How You Write A Song, I declare this NEITHER USE NOR ORNAMENT!

1 x 5 (David 5000)
15 x 0 (VoR, Penelope, Soldi, Pingu, ButterTart, Suomi, Ag, Tisch, ZenGiraffe, Music, Ill Advised, Broomhelga, Jacques, auretz, Diddy)
 
9th: The Ark - The Worrying Kind (45 points)
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Looking at that picture - Sofi Marinova, J'ACCUSE!

Heading into Melodifestivalen 2007 as one of the biggest bands in Sweden, with three number one albums under their belt, unashamed glam rock nostalgists The Ark declared they were only entering to get their latest single some promo in front of 4 million viewers on the biggest television show in the country, and promptly ended up winning the thing. Alas, the 2007 contest was probably the nadir for Western performance, and despite being one of the better efforts from a nation west of the Iron Curtain that year, glam rock was a genre whose popularity was also pretty much confined to the West at its height (what with there being the small matter of a WALL IN THE WAY for most of that decade). Despite being one of the best performers on votes from Western nations that year, there was much better going on elsewhere that managed to unite a continent.

1 x 12 (Jacques)
6 x 0 (Kratz, David 5000, Madison, Win the Game, wurst, Raining On Me)
 
Moopy removing two out of the three penises early. If Roger Pontare is next, I am going to have to start shooting.
 
Ola Salo of The Ark looks far less 'legally mandated to stay no less than 50ft from minors at any given time' nowadays.



They're not the worst band in the world but MY GOD I hated every aspect of that song and the way it was performed.
 
8th: Afro-Dite - Never Let It Go (85 points)
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Moopy - how COULD YOU!

Okay, to be completely fair, it is fucking terrible (though how anyone can resist the charms of Gladys's DISCO BELLOWING ad libbing "WE'LL BE SHAY-KEHHHN!" in every chorus from halfway in is BEYOND ME). Melodifestivalen in 2002 was an unwieldy, unsteady footed beast, being the first year some queen who'd entered for Sweden a decade prior called Christer got his hands on it and got a trial run at transforming it into the six-week, multi-heat behemoth that ruins countless gay lives every February today. A year dominated by rough and ready fare which you simply would - could - not get today, it's little surprise it was won by something this busted, giving us The Mamas on a night out in 2001 before the diabetes got to them with something so limp even Alcazar couldn't bring themselves to record it (literally!).

Still - it's FUN FFS, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT :evil:

1 x 8 (Music)
2 x 0 (dmlaw, Queen of the Bay)
 
Awful song from Afro-dite and whoever decided that their skirts shouldn’t match MUST be put in prison.
 
I honestly question whether anybody who could rank Afro-dite last has ever truly experienced JOY
 

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