1,001 ways the Olympics should be improved for LA 2028 (1 Viewer)

[Lucille]

 

[octophone]

210.

Shagging.

The dance, that is...

 

[octophone]

211. Marathon podcasting. The podcast lasts for 26 hours and each team started with 1000 points, incurring penalties for using phrases like "mainstream media", "groupthink", "free speech" etc. 3 strikes and you're out rule for misogyny and instant disqualification if you mention Elon Musk.

 

[octophone]

212. The 400m Cheating. Any mechanism for getting over the line first is acceptable.

 

[octophone]

213. The 1000m riot. Takes place on Sunset Strip. Could lead to up to $10m worth of improvements.

 

[octophone]

214. The 400m relay to be run only by disgraced celebrities.

 

[Joseph]

215. Cartoon watching marathon

 

[Indie]

216. Remove the sandpit in the long jump.

 

[Shoat]

217. Real life Animals Of Farthing Wood triathalon.

Each nation pits representatives of their native fauna in a race to a remote sanctuary. Medals for any who don't get eaten, shot, drowned, or crushed on a motorway before the end.

 

[Joseph]

218. Milk and Cookie toss

 

[GNL]

219. Wapathon. Wettest ass pussy wins gold.

 

[Joseph]

220. Strip Poker pommel horse

 

[Indie]

221. Pin the tail on the donkey mixed relay

 

[GNL]

222. Wordle

 

[octophone]

222. Wordle

222b - Javelordle. You choose your letters by hurling a javelin into the Countdown board.

 

[octophone]

223. Mixed doubles Satanism.

 

[octophone]

224. Saxohurdles. 400m hurdles while playing the saxophone. Different categories for tenor and alto sax.

 

[octophone]

225. Team Infestation.

Each team has to pick up as many STDs as possible in the Olympic Village.

 

[Lucille]

226. Painting as an Olympic sport.

 

[octophone]

227. Willy Measuring.

The longest person called William, Willomena, Wilhelm, Wilhelmina or other acceptable variant wins. The event becomes controversial when JK Rowling claims that one of the entrants changed their name by deed poll and demands to see all the participants' birth certificates.

 

[octophone]

228. Molympics.

All participants begin clean shaven and whoever has the most impressive tache immediately before the closing ceremony wins. The event becomes controversion when JK Rowling etc etc etc

 

[AGinAg (38)]

229. Squatting for Grandad Bill

 

[octophone]

230. Pegging.

Whoever hangs their washing out fastest wins.

 

[GNL]

231. Replace all the BBC's in-studio commentators with AI.

 

[octophone]

231. Replace all the BBC's in-studio commentators with AI.

Just don't use Huw Edwards phone as the model.

 

[AGinAg (38)]

232. JK Rowling shooting

 

[big ron]

233. Freestyle jetwashing

 

[AGinAg (38)]

234. The Saturdays Megamix relay

 

[Joseph]

235. Soup making gymnastics

 

[octophone]

236. The half-marathon but all contestants must either hop, mince or tiptoe every second mile.

 

[Joseph]

237. Blindfolded Checkers

 

[AGinAg (38)]

238. Orgy flash mobs

 

[ZenGiraffe]

239. Blitzball

 

[AGinAg (38)]

240. Synchronised felching

 

[GNL]

241. If all the female gymnastic routines could feature a magical girl costume change sequence that'd be great.

 

[ZenGiraffe]

241. If all the female gymnastic routines could feature a magical girl costume change sequence that'd be great.

242. If all the male gymnastic routines could feature a magical girl costume change sequence that'd be great.

 

[Soldi]

222. Wordle

I can exclusively reveal that myself, @Indie and @Music have already been chosen for the GB mens team.

 

[Marina Salty]

243. Dramathlon. Athletes compete on who delivers the most heartbreaking confessional to the camera.

 

[Joseph]

244. Finger painting using human blood

 

[Shoat]

245. Losing competitors must acknowledge defeat by hurling themselves across the stage and emitting a Tekken / Street Fighter / Streets Of Rage esque DEATH CRY