ASFM: Worldvision: The Results! (The Happy Ending Gala). TODAY AT 5PM BRITISH CLOCK TIME

[ButterTart]

We've admired erections, been impressed by semis and exposed our entries, all that's left to do is get that all-important happy ending.

Join me this afternoon at 5pm in the afternoon, for an afternoon of shocks, twists, and furiously typing 'oh for FUCK'S SAKE' whenever the one you don't like scores a point. Will the traveller's cheques make any difference? Will @Rita finally snaffle that win she's been on the cusp of? Did Jessica Andersson make the introduction video I paid her £40 for on Memmo?

The answer to a least one of these questions is 'no, because she's basically a huge bitch'. Find out which TONIGHT.

As promised, here are your players for tonight:

Albania straightorbroken Adelina Ismajli Shko Në R, S

Armenia Octophone Deradoorian It Was Me

Australia Rita Pnau Go Bang

Austria ButterTart Mind.in.a.box Synchronize

Azerbaijan Queen of the Bay Mehriban Ay Balam

Belarus Kate Molchat Doma Discotheque

Belgium Marilyn Natacha Atlas One Brief Moment

Brazil Ill Advised Xuxa She-Ra

Cameroon Tisch Vagabon Water Me Down

Canada Lucille Baths Adam Copies

Chile Alex Francisco Victoria Marinos

Colombia Superstylin' Tei Shi Say You Do

Cuba Pingu Gloria Estefan Hotel Nacional

Denmark Funky Medina Boring

Estonia Barnacle Maarja Tagareas

France Beverley Pas Sages Surf Sur Le Périph

Georgia Jivafox Katie Melua The Flood

Greece Suomi Michalis Hatzigiannis Etsi Se Thelo

Iceland RJN Bloodgroup Hips Again

Indonesia Kratz Weird Genius (feat. Sara Fajira) LATHI

Iran big ron Kourosh Yaghmaei Saraabe Toe (Your Mirage)

Ireland Indie Just Mustard Frank

Israel dUb Shiri Maimon Tipa

Italy ZZ Milva Thalassa

Japan HerSereneHighnessAnniFrid Wink Turn It Into Love

Kazakhstan Raining on Me Gauhartas Kazagym Aj

Kenya ZenGiraffe Dela Third Party Lover

Lebanon Win the Game Madeleine Matar Tamen Albak

Netherlands Ag Anita Meyer Why Tell Me Why

Nigeria David 5000 Yemi Alade Tumbum

Norway Gangsta Nancy Lam Trio Mediaeval Rolandskavet

Panama rhythmbarbican Joako Fábrega DILE

Portugal Music Ana Malhoa Ampulheta

Romania BoysForSeles Antonia Como ¡Ay!

Senegal RaspberrySwirl Fakeba Balna Lene

Serbia Suedey Marina Viskovic Ljubi Me Tu

Slovenia Cwej Maraaya Living Again

South Korea Jyxz Brown Eyed Girls Abracadabra

Sweden dmlaw The Dark Element Songs the Night Sings

Trinidad & Tobago Iguana Nessa Preppy Tingo

Tunisia Diddy Latifa Maktoobli (My Destiny)

Turkey COB Gülşen & Edis Nirvana

United Kingdom OutSynk Kelli-Leigh Do You Wanna Be Loved Like This?

USA Beryl Shuba Vedula Gimme Gimme

 

[ButterTart]

I was up 'til 2am creating a dynamic running order and formatting the votes from CERTAIN PEOPLE (and no, I won't sorb names - this is between me and them) to make them useable in the results thread.

 

[jyxz]

 

[jivafox]

I’m off out this eve but I hope to get to experience a considerable chunk of this. I’m assuming it won’t be a 12 hourathon like Suomifestivalen?

 

[RaspberrySwirl]

Will be at friends’ this evening, but will try to stay updated.

 

[Cerro de Casa]

I shall do my best to attend lovely @Butterfly

 

[ZenGiraffe]

I cannot wait for my delusions of victory to be crushed cruelly over the space of two hours

 

[ButterTart]

Will be at friends’ this evening, but will try to stay updated.

RS sneaking a peek at his phone every few seconds like

 

[ButterTart]

We also get to find out who - if anyone - has earned themselves the 2,200 point VOTER DELINQUENCY PENALTY.

 

[ButterTart]

I’m off out this eve but I hope to get to experience a considerable chunk of this. I’m assuming it won’t be a 12 hourathon like Suomifestivalen?

I plan to get everything wrapped up within 3 hours.

 

[Lucille]

omg

 

[Lucille]

I have dinner at 7 but will be dutifully sneaking away from my own Birthday Party to follow the HOT TRAVELLERS CHEQUES REVEAL.

 

[jyxz]

I plan to get everything wrapped up within 3 hours.

And then the 'Others' reveal immediately after?

 

[straightorbroken]

I was up 'til 2am creating a dynamic running order and formatting the votes from CERTAIN PEOPLE (and no, I won't sorb names - this is between me and them) to make them useable in the results thread.

I don't know what this means, but I'm ready for it

 

[RJN]

I have dinner plans at 12 BCT, but I’m still nervous that will be too early to not miss any of this

 

[Diddy]

Hopefully I’ll be asleep at this time, but if I am NOT doing well on my overnight bus, I’ll join you dolls

 

[Kate]

I will be getting wet at a festival so will have to do the occasional check from a disgusting portaloo

 

[Lucille]

I will be getting wet at a festival so will have to do the occasional check from a disgusting portaloo

SOMEONE POST THE GIF

 

[GinAg (39)]

I'm hungover and super ready to win.

 

[Lucille]

For those wondering about the Canadian link of my entry, basically I’d had Baths in my potential future ASFM entries for a while, after really struggling to find a decent entry I couldn’t believe my luck when I went on his Instagram and stumbled upon THIS.

 

[ButterTart]

I love that if I'd started this a month earlier, @Lucille wouldn't have been able to use that song.

 

[Ill Advised]

I anticipate a sexy 35th placing

 

[RaspberrySwirl]

Lucille really stretching the rules there

 

[RaspberrySwirl]

I'm hungover and super ready to win.

I think you will!

 

[Lucille]

Lucille really stretching the rules there

He’s a Canadian citizen! How is that stretching the rules?

 

[Cerro de Casa]

Lucille really stretching the rules there

Louise STRETCH out now

Anyway I thought I would really well with my SLUT POP entry this time, but the number of LIKES to my REVEAL has been disappointing

I predict a Top 33 placing

 

[Cerro de Casa]

Plus it's been a very strong ASFM I would have to say

 

[D5K]

@ButterTart are you going to be crowing regional champions as well as the overall winner? I think I'm part of a nice little African tussle.

 

[RaspberrySwirl]

The true Queen of Africa is my beloved songstress (whose name I can’t remember now).

But I feel that she’s going to flop.

 

[straightorbroken]

Ooh I like that idea.

I'm officially crowning myself Queen of the Baltic Block regardless.

I think my song is very ultra and the terrible video inexplicably manages to be very extra, so it deserves top 20, but top 37th would be ok.

 

[Lucille]

Who else is in North America? It’s just USA, Canada, Panama and Trinidad & Tobago I think?

 

[dUb]

I'm gonna flop HARD with Shiri's sultry gem but I stand by it

 

[Lucille]

Oh turns out Trinidad and Tobago is SOUTH AMERICA.

 

[Lucille]

FORGOT CUBA

 

[RaspberrySwirl]

Who’s Indonesia? I predict it will do very well.

 

[RaspberrySwirl]

Oh turns out Trinidad and Tobago is SOUTH AMERICA.

Hmm, I’m pretty sure it counts as North American.

 

[Kate]

Ex-Soviet bloc UP!

 

[Kratz]

So excited for this. I can’t imagine how much effort must go into this @ButterTart - thanks, it has been so much fun and you have ran it all with humour (and efficiency!).

 

[Lucille]

Hmm, I’m pretty sure it counts as North American.

There doesn’t seem to be a definitive answer.

 

[Cerro de Casa]

Who’s Indonesia? I predict it will do very well.

I agree. I think it was @Kratz but I might be wrong..?