ButterTart's Christmas Horror Film Countdown

Well some of these sound just the ticket. In fact, I might pick the most disgusting selection and play them Christmas Day, starting during Christmas DINNER. That should get every fucker out and slash the pretend-joy human interaction in half for the day :disco:
 
30. Gremlins (1984)


A man gets his teenage son an impossibly high maintenance Christmas present which later gets taken off him so he ends up having nothing for Christmas.

I know. I FUCKING KNOW, ALRIGHT? Most normal people would have this as their number one with a bullet and they’d be correct in doing so. I like it, I think it’s good, it’s just that I have no great urge to watch it again. When it came to watching it for this rate, I wasn’t massively looking forward to it. I’m really not one for cutesy stuff (My childhood teddy bear was called Cunt) and I think Gizmo tips the scale into simpering cretin a bit too much for me to wish him well. If it was four minutes long and called Woman Fights Puppets In Kitchen, it would obviously be a number one contender, because the highs in this film are VERY high (and yes, it’s a film mostly comprised of high points). I know I’ve totally lost any credibility after this but I’d still like to continue the rate, if you’ll have me.

Best bit: Woman fights puppets in kitchen. An iconic moment not just of the film, but of cinema in general.

Weihnachtstische out of ten: :tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch: :tisch::tisch:
 
When you zoom in on my other half's face it looks EXACTLY LIKE GIZMO.

I'm quite fond, but I don't recall Gizmo smoking cheap fags so much. I'd definitely shag Gizmo first thinking about it
 
I feel like I've accidentally made you question your life choices now.

I think I'm just accepting my fate like any good, forlorn horror girl who didn't make it to the end. I mean when the benchmark is this:

blackxmas1.jpg


...where does one go?

Not that she made it to the end or anything, but I'm assuming future analysis acknowledges this
40-thoughts-i-had-while-watching-black-christmas
 
29. Red Christmas (2016)


In rural Australia, a family have their Christmas day interrupted by a monstrous stranger who has a vendetta against kindly matriarch Diane (Dee Wallace).

Billed as a comedy horror, this is a straight-up slasher with some effective character comedy and a few awkward attempts at slapstick which are at odds with the grisly subject matter. I’m really not keen on the pro-life sentiment here – crucial to the stranger’s grudge against Diane – but it’s mitigated by the fact that the killer is massively unsympathetic. You don’t get many Australian Christmas horrors to the pound, so it feels like this one really wants to make a mark. Casting the lovely Dee Wallace is an excellent start, and the truly vicious kills definitely don’t hurt, either. The family are well-rounded, with the possible exception of super religious Suzy and Peter (Sarah Bishop and David Collins), although both come into their own later in the film. Despite her best efforts to protect them, Diane watches each of her children and their spouses suffer truly horrific deaths, exemplifying the cold indifference the film has towards its characters. Tonally uneven and burdened by some unfortunate narrative decisions though this is, Red Christmas is a beast of a slasher that’s already become staple viewing in the Butters household.

Best bit: Honestly, every kill in this film could qualify as a best bit. I’d have to give the edge to Peter, the bookish vicar who proves his mettle in his efforts to take down the killer. For his trouble, he has the back of his head pushed into a blender with enough force for his eyes to burst and spew torrents of blood.


Weihnachtstische out of ten: :tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch: :tisch::tisch::agog:
 
Omg Red Christmas is ATROCIOUS :D Getting Dee Wallace to battle her aborted foetus on screen was quite a feat I have to admit.
 
Omg Red Christmas is ATROCIOUS :D Getting Dee Wallace to battle her aborted foetus on screen was quite a feat I have to admit.
Cletus is one of the unfortunate decisions I was referring to. If they'd just gone for straight up horror it would be higher on the list because it's absolutely vindictive and hostile enough to pull it off effectively.
 
Sadly I think you’re right - Child’s Play is his birthday but it does take place over winter which might add to the confusion.
 
28. The Night Sitter (2018)


In the run up to Christmas, babysitter Amber (Elyse Dufour) plots to rob her employer Ted (Joe Walz), a plan which goes awry when Ted’s son Kevin (Jack Champion) accidentally summons supernatural entities called the Three Mothers.

The Three Mothers are a nod to Dario Argento’s loose trilogy of the same name, so this bags immediate points for that reference alone. There are shades of giallo throughout in the use of primary colours (Amber and her friends even wear colour-coded clothes), and in the kickass synthy score which is honestly one of the best on this entire list. Simultaneously less polished and less annoying than The Babysitter, this is a great fun comedy horror with some fantastic dialogue, great character progression as Amber goes from budding thief to daring protector. Since Ted is a paranormal investigator, the film is able to introduce the supernatural element without too much plot contrivance, although the horror on offer is certainly less effective than the comedy. While it won’t leave a lasting mark, this is a charming, funny watch that I’m more than confident to recommend.

Best bit: The music is truly spectacular, I can’t underline that enough times. Plot-wise, it’s the spiky, disdainful interaction between Amber and irritating goody-two-shoes Ronnie (Bailey Campbell), whom she’s also babysitting, that really sparkles. Flashing her bra at him to stun him into silence is a brilliant insight into Amber’s character.

Weihnachtstische out of ten: :tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch: :tisch::tisch::agog:
 
27. Christmas Cruelty! (2013)


Eline, Magne and Per-Ingvar (Inger Eline Aasheim, Magne Steinsvoll and Per-Ingvar Tomren, co-writers and directors of the film) throw a Christmas party which is invaded by a sadistic murderer in a Santa suit (Tormod Lien).

Fuck. Me. First Juleblod, now this? Seriously, Norway, seek help. The reputation of this one precedes it to the point that I befriended Magne Steinsvoll on Facebook and got him to personally send me a copy of it. It’s a vicious, sadistic slasher which crosses the line into tasteless many times over (Although, considering what happens to Eline, it’s interesting to note that she and two other women wrote most of the film), but it's also a true labour of love which shows a massive reverence for the genre. Serial Santa (as the killer is known :D) is absolute evil, one of the most inhuman creatures on this list (and outside of it, in fairness) and he sets a pitch-black tone in the opening moments that permeates into even the comedy throughout the rest of the movie. Magne is a great source of barbarous one-liners (‘This drink tastes like seagull cum’) but his relationship with wheelchair user Per-Ingvar borders on bullying at times. There are some bizarre editing decisions throughout which aim for arthouse but tickle the rim of amateurishness, but what is accomplished here for such a meagre budget is astonishing. This is FAR from an easy watch and you need an ‘anything goes’ attitude to horror in order to make it to the end, but if you’re a fan of the extremities of the slasher genre there’s lots here to keep you satisfied.

Best bit: The opening sequence, in which Serial Santa torments a terrified family who are tied up in their kitchen. In the middle of the room is a Moses basket, at the far end is a chainsaw… If you can sit through this bit, the rest of the film will be a doddle.

Weihnachtstische out of ten: :tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch: :tisch::tisch::agog:
 
26. Sheitan (2006)


Thrown out of a club on Christmas Eve, a group of young ne’er do wells are invited to spend Christmas Day at the home of a girl they’ve just met, deep in the French countryside.

The first of several French-language horrors knocking around in the upper echelons of this ranking, Sheitan (Satan in the UK) is a backwoods horror that revels in its own absurdity. Obviously, being French horror, it’s about as festive as being woken up by the sound of a window breaking downstairs, but the majority of the film is actually set on Christmas Day and, in places, is almost cosy. The locals are all inbred, there’s a subplot about a heavily pregnant woman which only crosses over into the main narrative in the genuinely insane last few minutes, and at one point a ginger lass wanks off a dog, thus confirming my every suspicion about gingers. Of course, all of this is window dressing for the film’s MAJOR selling point, a boisterous, demented turn by Vincent Cassel as Joseph, the brother of Eve (Roxane Mesquida), who invited the gang to the house. A sinister, overbearing presence throughout, he’s by turns jovial and menacing, teasing a villainy that he explodes into in the final act.

Best bit: Vincent Cassel in full drag, playing his own sisterwife Marie. It’s only brief, but is the turning point for the entire film and encapsulates the eccentricity and outlandishness of the whole thing perfectly.

Weihnachtstische out of ten: :tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch: :tisch::tisch::tisch:
 
25. Kristy (2014)


The only student staying on campus for Thanksgiving, Justine (Haley Bennett) is targeted for execution by an online cult who keep calling her ‘Kristy’.

Thanksgiving is basically just a practice Christmas so that Americans can have a go at cooking a turkey and look at some balloons in New York, so I’m absolutely within my rights to include this on the list.

This is actually a really solid little slasher, sharing common ground with While She Was Out but with the added bonus of the gang being actually vicious, and not a bunch of soggy old fannies. The movie makes sterling use of the empty campus, introducing locales and activities which all become significant further into the film when Justine mounts her fightback. The villains are suitably menacing and omnipresent, meaning that Justine’s counter offensive is hugely satisfying. The cast are decent, including James Ransone in little more than a cameo as the campus caretaker :disco: and Justine herself is headstrong and smart enough that she’s easy to get behind as the heroine. Also, the score is MINT.

Best bit: Justine, who’s doing some sort of science course, makes a concoction from chemicals found at the campus pool. Facing down the psychopathic Violet (Ashley Greene), she douses her in the chemicals and sets her on fire in a brilliantly done and unbelievably rewarding set piece.

Weihnachtstische out of ten: :tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch: :tisch::tisch::tisch:
 
24. Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)


Young nutjob Billy (Robert Brian Wilson) channels his obsession with Christmas into a murderous rampage, targeting anyone he considers ‘naughty’.

The standard-bearer of tacky Christmas slashers, out-tackied and out-slashed dozens of times since its release but still a firm cult favourite. Billy witnessed his parents’ murder at the hands of a man in a Santa suit and was raised by arsey nuns who noted his pathological aversion to Christmas. Obviously, everyone in this film is a cunt and so, despite his protestations, Billy ends up playing Father Christmas for the shop he works at, eroding the last shred of his sanity and sending him into a spiral of shouting ‘PUNISH’ before slaughtering women who arbitrarily have their jugs out. Beyond the drearily inevitable fairy light strangulation, the kills are good and the film makes no effort to pull its punches in presenting Billy as a BBFC-baiting lunatic. This was remade as the far superior Silent Night in 2012, which may or may not be still to come on this list.

Best bit: Denise and Tommy (Linnea Quigley and Leo Geter) celebrate being asked to babysit by having a quick wriggle on a pool table. Billy stops by to impale Denise on a mounted moose head and then chuck Tommy out of the window, leaving him impaled with massive shards of glass. PUNISH!

Weihnachtstische out of ten: :tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch: :tisch::tisch::tisch:
 
23. Santa’s Slay (2005)


When the curse which has forced Father Christmas (Bill Goldberg) to be good for a thousand years is lifted, he celebrates by attacking the idyllic community of Hell Township.

This film presents a daft premise – that Santa was a ruthless murderer until losing a bet which cursed him to a millennium of being kind and charitable – and REALLY commits to it. It plays every moment for laugh and, while not always successful, maintains an impressive hit rate for its punchlines. It’s relatively light on plot, preferring elaborate set pieces to – you know – making sense, which makes the ending pretty messy, but all of that is forgivable when it’s all so much fucking fun. The writing is sharp, the dialogue deliberately daft (“I’m as happy as a Make-a-Wish kid”) and the characters are layered and entertaining. It’s not trying to be cool, which is what makes it so enjoyable, and WCW legend turned WWE employee Bill Goldberg chews the scenery with such aplomb that it’s really a shame he hasn’t ever reprised the role. The opening scene features a family all played by Jewish celebrities in cameo roles (Fran Drescher! Chris Kattan! Brenda off the Urban Legend!) being comically massacred and sets the tone perfectly for the rest of the film.

Best bit: Obviously the opening massacre is a high point, but my favourite moment is when two vile children (‘Can’t wait to see all this shit we got’ ‘Yeah, can we open our motherfucking presents now?’) have their heads blown off by explosive presents. Their grandmother’s reaction? ‘Fuuuuck…’

Weihnachtstische out of ten: :tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch: :tisch::tisch::tisch:
 
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22. Calvaire (2004)


Driving to a Christmas show, singer Marc (Laurent Lucas) experiences engine trouble and seeks refuge in an isolated inn owned by Mr Bartel (Jackie Berroyer), who believes Marc is his estranged ex-wife…

The English title for this is The Ordeal, and never has a name better suited a movie. Another French language movie (a co-production between France, Belgium and Luxembourg), this is as harrowing as psychological horror gets. As Marc is taken prisoner and believed by both Bartel and the local villagers to be ‘Gloria’, the inescapability of his situation makes for oppressively bleak viewing. This isn’t an especially violent film, other than in short bursts (such as when Bartel crucifies ‘Gloria’ for defying him), it’s the mental torture Marc is subjected to which is what generates the horror. There are layers of symbolism, non-sequitur images and scenes (Children in red watching from the forest, a truly mind-melting dance sequence…) and disorienting camera work, which all combine into a surreal, nightmarish souffle of a movie. It fucks with the viewer’s perception of what’s real so much that I’ve watched it Christ knows how many times and I’m still not even sure I believe the ending actually happens.

Best bit: The aforementioned dance sequence in a bar in the village (which, incidentally, seems to be populated entirely by men). One of the locals plays a genuinely hellish song on the piano, while the rest sway back and forth with increasing vigour. It’s jarring and intense and, for some reason, is the moment I realise how truly fucked poor Marc actually is.

Weihnachtstische out of ten: :tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch: :tisch::tisch::tisch:
 
21. Secret Santa (2018)


Spiked punch turns a febrile Christmas dinner into an outright bloodbath for a well-heeled family.

One of the strongest character-horrors on this list, Secret Santa does a superb job of creating a tangible dynamic between these flawed family members, all of whom are their own shade of unhinged. The dialogue here absolutely sparkles (It’s the only time on this list that ‘guttersnipe’ is used as an insult), and the liberal dose of Sodium Pentothal in their punch cranks this up to 11, forcing them to tell the truth regardless of the damage it will cause. As every family secret is laid hilariously bare, violence inevitably ensues and we get a fantastically chaotic smackdown between the characters before they split off into slightly more genre-appropriate chase sequences. This is a rare comedy horror that actually made me laugh out loud, and the brisk pace means there’s not enough time for ennui to set in (Not that I wouldn’t quite happily listen to these monsters talking shit to each other for hours on end, mind). The movie has no sympathy for its characters and doesn’t make any effort to endear the majority of them to the viewer, leaving us free to enjoy the very well-executed carnage without pity.

Best bit: Shari (Debra Sullivan) and Carol (Pat Destro) sideline their ‘friendly’ rivalry in favour of a knock-down, drag-out brawl where they kick the absolute living SHIT out of each other, airing their every last piece of dirty laundry as they do. Kindly youngest son Kyle (Drew Lynch) keeps getting accidentally injured every time he tries to intervene.


Weihnachtstische out of ten: :tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch: :tisch::tisch::tisch:
 
Nah that's fine. It's not precisely "horror" anyway.

I much prefer the ludicrous sequel in the absurdly large TV studio/whatever you want it to be building where the CAMP fully comes out to play.
Gremlins II is genuinely one of my favourite movies of all time.
 
20. Christmas Presence


Old friends get together at a remote house to celebrate Christmas, only to find themselves under siege by a demonic entity.

Also known as Why Hide?, this is a bit of a random one to kick off my top twenty favourite Christmas horrors but one that, to me at least, fully deserves such a high placing. The majority of the characters are gay, which is refreshing in that it’s just a fact as opposed to a plot point. They’re also really well written and, despite their differences, they share a chemistry that makes their friendship believable. Orla Cottingham in particular shines as no-nonsense Welsh bird Jo (Probably should have mentioned earlier that this is another British film). The plotting is tight, the dialogue sharp – Richard E Grant lookalike Hugo (William Holstead) tells Jo her tits look ‘like a basset hound died on your chest’ – and the characters each have their own foibles and distinct voices (“Shitting titters”). The entity wreaking havoc is the Anansi, an African prankster demon, which again earns the movie bonus points for not making the villain Christmas-themed, even though the cottage and the party they throw are very, very Christmassy. There are shades of iconic 90s Rhona Cameron vehicle Funny Man in the Anansi’s murderous tricks, only far less shit. The only downside for me is protagonist McKenzie (Charlotte Atkinson) going on a bit of a TERFy rant near the start of the film. I don’t know why it happens, but it’s totally at odds with the inclusivity of this group of characters.

Best bit: The demon crushing Sam (Elsie Bennett) in a fold-up bed is great, but I have to go with Marcus (Mark Chatterton) confessing his love for McKenzie moments before sacrificing himself. It’s a tender moment suddenly rendered cruel by the reveal that this McKenzie was actually just the Anansi in disguise.

Weihnachtstische out of ten: :tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch: :tisch::tisch::tisch:
 
19. The Conjuring 2 (2016)


Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) travel to London to investigate poltergeist activity at a house in London.

Easily the best thing to come out of the Conjuring franchise, this is an unsettling jump fest whose only intention is to scare the shite out of the viewer. Based on the real-life investigation of the infamous Enfield haunting, this takes plenty of liberties in its storytelling, yet some of the eerier scenes are actually faithful recreations of real events. One particular scene in which Ed speaks with the ghost, who has possessed young Janet (Madison Wolfe) is an almost word-for-word reproduction of the actual conversation (The video of which is available on YouTube). Bill Wilkins makes for a memorable villain; there’s something about his ordinariness that really gets to me. He’s not a scorned Medieval bride or Peter Cushing, he’s just an old man who died in his armchair. We’re also introduced to The Crooked Man and his sassy hat, a more conventional movie demon who is quite terrifying, even if he looks a bit like he’s wandered off a film where Maggie Smith plays a jolly spinster in post-war Surrey. Although the events taking place over Christmas is incidental to the plot, there’s something about the 70s setting that feels authentically festive, like a Christmas special of The Double Deckers. A few too many Americanisms uttered by impoverished English children mar proceedings slightly, as does the ridiculous ending, but this is still the most effective and creepy haunted council house horror since Ghostwatch.

Best bit: The best jump scare on this entire list. MY HOUSE.



Weihnachtstische out of ten: :tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch: :tisch::tisch::tisch::agog:
 
18. El dia de la Bestia (1995)


Father Ángel (Álex Angulo) believes the antichrist will be born at Midnight on Christmas Eve and races across Madrid to prevent it.

Blasphemous and irreverent, this film is a reminder of just how very good and excellent the Spanish are at horror when they’ve a mind to be. Known as Day of the Beast over here, it opens with a priest being squashed by a giant crucifix and maintains that tone throughout. Ángel is an enjoyably eccentric protagonist who surrounds himself with equally fun characters – Satanist record shop employee Jose (Santiago Segura) and TV psychic Cavan (Armando De Razza), who become just as invested in the mad quest as Ángel himself. Positioned somewhere between action, horror and comedy (and doing a sterling job with all three genres) the film manages an even, exciting pace as it moves between set pieces (including a bit where the trio try to walk along the exterior of a high-rise building which made me a bit queasy). Madrid looks equal parts beautiful and seedy here, with a subplot involving a roaming gang murdering anyone who they see as tarnishing their city (migrants, the homeless…). I’d have thought a few of you would have seen this already but, if anyone hasn’t, I’d heartily recommend giving it a watch.

Best bit: The film hits the ground running with a hilariously macabre montage of scenes in which Ángel wanders Madrid being vile to people (Stealing a dying man’s wallet, pushing a living statue down a flight of stairs) in an effort to invoke the devil by becoming a sinner.


Weihnachtstische out of ten: :tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch: :tisch::tisch::tisch::agog:
 
17. Dead of Night (1945)


Walter Craig (Mervyn Johns) is invited to a party at a country estate and discovers that he has met all of the guests in a recurring dream.

This is, by some distance, the oldest film on the list, and dashed good fun it is, too. It’s an anthology, but one linked by the ongoing mystery behind how Walter recognises them all and why he is able to predict the evening’s events with such uncanny accuracy. The party looks awesome, it’s rammed full of QOLs and everyone smokes continuously. They’re a fun bunch, each with their own story to tell. The first is about a racing driver recovering from a crash with the help of kindly nurse Joyce – ‘a grand job on nursing on Joyce’s part’ he enthuses. The short is based around the ‘room for one more’ ghost story and features some kickass stunts. The second film is the Christmas one that gets Dead of Night on the list in the first place, in which a young girl organises a game of hide and seek in an old country manor and encounters a mysterious little boy in a hidden antechamber. The third story is my favourite, in which a woman buys her husband a haunted mirror. Both of these characters are ace and I love the dialogue. “What shall we do tonight? Dress up, spend a lot of money?” Yes, yes we shall. The fourth is a smashing bit of misogyny in which two chaps play a round of golf to win the hand of a woman who’s too young for both of them. One dies and haunts the other for cheating to win the bet. The fifth concerns a ventriloquist's dummy which seems to no longer require a hand up its arse to spring into life. Obviously, you have to be up for a barrage of post-war British acting in order to watch this, but it’s hugely rewarding and one I’ll be going back to over and again.

Best bit: I love the mirror tale, but the third act shift into full nightmare territory is a fantastic gear shift, as Walter loses grip of reality and finds himself tumbling through each of the stories he’s just listened to.

Weihnachtstische out of ten: :tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch: :tisch::tisch::tisch::agog:
 
16. 3615 code Père Noël (1989)


Thomas, an imaginative young boy (Alain Musy) defends his palatial home from a murderous intruder by setting ingenious traps.

Let’s address the elephant in the room (© Alexandra ‘The Burke’ Beast). This is basically Home Alone. It’s Home Alone to the extent that director René Manzor threatened legal action on the grounds that Home Alone was basically an unauthorised remake of this. Variously known as Dial Code Santa Claus and Deadly Games, this French movie is whimsical and exciting, yet FAR darker than the exploits of Kevin and his negligent parents. For starters, there’s genuine menace in Patrick Floersheim’s portrayal of the Santa suit-clad villain (Whom Thomas unwittingly invited using a Minitel messenger service), as well as an actual body count. The house is impossibly huge and riddled with secret rooms and traps laid by Thomas, who is an action movie obsessive (complete with upsetting 80s mullet). The traps themselves are less cartoonishly violent than in Home Alone but make more of a mark – Father Christmas is set on fire and has pub darts fired into his neck among other things. The bright, effervescent colours and fantastical set design suggest this should be a children’s film, the violence nonce trying to enter both the property and its young occupant very much say otherwise. Also listen out for the Bonnie Tyler Christmas song that plays throughout; it was very nearly my entry for ASFXMAS. This is a genuinely fantastic movie that I thought would definitely make it into my top ten, which tells you how much I like everything else that’s still to come.

Best bit: The death of J.R, Thomas’ beloved dog. If the image of Thomas sobbing while he carries his lifeless body doesn’t mist your eyes right up, then you’re a Godforsaken monster and I no longer wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Weihnachtstische out of ten: :tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch: :tisch::tisch::tisch::agog:
 
That anthology with the easter bunny is one of the scariest, most hopeless (as in, hopeless for the child) and traumatic segments I think I've ever seen :D I can't remember much about the rest but that part is true CHILDHOOD HELL.
 
21. Secret Santa (2018)


Spiked punch turns a febrile Christmas dinner into an outright bloodbath for a well-heeled family.

One of the strongest character-horrors on this list, Secret Santa does a superb job of creating a tangible dynamic between these flawed family members, all of whom are their own shade of unhinged. The dialogue here absolutely sparkles (It’s the only time on this list that ‘guttersnipe’ is used as an insult), and the liberal dose of Sodium Pentothal in their punch cranks this up to 11, forcing them to tell the truth regardless of the damage it will cause. As every family secret is laid hilariously bare, violence inevitably ensues and we get a fantastically chaotic smackdown between the characters before they split off into slightly more genre-appropriate chase sequences. This is a rare comedy horror that actually made me laugh out loud, and the brisk pace means there’s not enough time for ennui to set in (Not that I wouldn’t quite happily listen to these monsters talking shit to each other for hours on end, mind). The movie has no sympathy for its characters and doesn’t make any effort to endear the majority of them to the viewer, leaving us free to enjoy the very well-executed carnage without pity.

Best bit: Shari (Debra Sullivan) and Carol (Pat Destro) sideline their ‘friendly’ rivalry in favour of a knock-down, drag-out brawl where they kick the absolute living SHIT out of each other, airing their every last piece of dirty laundry as they do. Kindly youngest son Kyle (Drew Lynch) keeps getting accidentally injured every time he tries to intervene.


Weihnachtstische out of ten: :tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch::tisch: :tisch::tisch::tisch:



I watched this earlier (it's on Amazon Prime at the moment) and I have to say as much as I liked it, the build up as they all arrive and start bitching and sniping is so electric and hilarious from all sides that I was actually disappointed when the horror parts came in! There are moments of camp comedy gold throughout but that initial set up is superb, it would have made an excellent character-driven comedy in its own right of a family throwing their own personal shit at each other.

Some of the later jokes didn't really land when mixed with the horror, but yeah, it's proper entertaining and it's hard not enjoy the nonsense carnage.

The mum and her sister could have carried it alone, what iconic monsters :D The constant insults between them (and every other insult used against them) were proper LOL-worthy and they really did try to make the mum as ghastly a human being as possible.
 
Obviously I can't comment on every film because I'm a FLOP FAN and not seen the majority but I'm thoroughly enjoying these write-ups and plan to seek out many of them. So don't think it's not appreciated, your reviews are glorious!
 
That anthology with the easter bunny is one of the scariest, most hopeless (as in, hopeless for the child) and traumatic segments I think I've ever seen :D I can't remember much about the rest but that part is true CHILDHOOD HELL.
I love that they made it as harrowing for her as they possibly could, it was literally like every childhood nightmare you've ever had.
 
I watched this earlier (it's on Amazon Prime at the moment) and I have to say as much as I liked it, the build up as they all arrive and start bitching and sniping is so electric and hilarious from all sides that I was actually disappointed when the horror parts came in! There are moments of camp comedy gold throughout but that initial set up is superb, it would have made an excellent character-driven comedy in its own right of a family throwing their own personal shit at each other.

Some of the later jokes didn't really land when mixed with the horror, but yeah, it's proper entertaining and it's hard not enjoy the nonsense carnage.

The mum and her sister could have carried it alone, what iconic monsters :D The constant insults between them (and every other insult used against them) were proper LOL-worthy and they really did try to make the mum as ghastly a human being as possible.
The woman who played the Mum wrote it as far as I know, and I absolutely love that she gave herself all the vilest lines.
 

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