Coleen Rooney - Private Investigator

[Ellie]

This has blown up on Twitter this morning

 

[Star]

Amazing!

 

[Star]

 

[Star]

I think she might be pregnant? She's not really mentioned it.

 

[COB]

Absolutely incredible, both the original post and the I WAS HACKED WHILE PREGNANT!! response.

 

[Rita]

Why would Becky Vardy do that? Is she not already pretty minted? Unless it is in return for good publicity, but I haven’t noticed much of that either...

 

[lolly]

That's a shame. I didn't notice the forum this was posted in, and thought that the nation's favourite Coleen was launching a solo career.

 

[Jark]

"especially when I'm heavily pregnant" !

just own it you silly cow

 

[octophone]

Best use of ellipsis I've seen in quite a while. And my fucking arse was she hacked.

 

[Rita]

So she did it just to be a spiteful cow then?

 

[Yvonne Mondle]

Why exactly would anyone be STRESSED if it weren’t true? What a scab! And HACKED MY TWAT

I’d like to nominate Coleen for this week’s QoL award and also I’d like a nosh on Wayne please

 

[Rita]

Wayne Rooney is DISGUSTING.

 

[Yvonne Mondle]

NO-ONE ASKED YOU

 

[Rita]

Darling the only pretty thing about HIM is his bank balance. I’d still rather spend a night with the grandmother prozzy he had his wicked way with than spend a SINGLE MINUTE with SHREK.

 

[Yvonne Mondle]

Darling, pretty is SO terribly overrated

You can have the prozzy and I’ll have HIM

 

[Kala]

Why would Becky Vardy do that? Is she not already pretty minted? Unless it is in return for good publicity, but I haven’t noticed much of that either...

I’d say it would definitely be the latter. Keep in their good books - some news in return for some stories about herself.

Coleen Rooney - the Jessica Fletcher of our generation!

 

[Rita]

Darling, pretty is SO terribly overrated

You can have the prozzy and I’ll have HIM

PRETTY HURTS BABE.

 

[Yvonne Mondle]

Pretty BORES

 

[Kala]

It’s Coleen’s use of the ellipsis which really gets me!

 

[dUb]

this is absolutely SENSATIONAL and i would now die for Coleen Rooney

 

[Rita]

I am also a Coleen fan, I wish she would just get rid of HIM.

 

[dUb]

She also did VERY well to say it's "Rebekah Vardy's account" so as to swerve a direct accusation

 

[dUb]

The staff in the Somali barbers I used to go to in Shepherd's Bush always called me 'Rooney' on account of my fat head and I'm so proud now x x

 

[Ellie]

I think we need a reboot of Footballers Wives now with this as inspiration for a whole series arc.

 

[Rita]

I think we need a reboot of Footballers Wives now with this as inspiration for a whole series arc.

Oh wow. I LOVED Footballers Wives.

 

[Rita]

The real footballers wives haven’t QUITE been up to scratch since the heady days of Vicky B though.

 

[jivafox]

Can you IMAGINE Tanya Turner getting her CLAWS on social media

“I don’t care if she’ll kick off - like his Insta picture. NOW.”

 

[lolly]

Someone said I looked like Wayne Rooney once. I think it may have been family as well, the bastards. And my mother in law once said I looked like Phil Mitchell


To think that in my twenties I had Jude Law and Andrew Lincoln

 

[big ron]

Occasionally I think about leaving twitter then shit like this happens and I'm glad its in my life.

 

[SDF]

This is everything

Has Kim Woodburn made comment on this yet?

 

[Yvonne Mondle]

Is Kim Woodburn still ALIVE? @jivafox to provide urgent update please

 

[Rita]

This is everything

Has Kim Woodburn made comment on this yet?

Sorry but OUR KIM beats Coleen hands down.

 

[Kala]

Sorry but OUR KIM beats Coleen hands down.

I don't think anyone's comparing them, though!

Coleen has just cemented herself as an ICON in one tweet.

 

[Rita]

I don't think anyone's comparing them, though!

Coleen has just cemented herself as an ICON in one tweet.

Clearly. There is no comparison.

 

[Kala]

Perhaps not - we always knew Kim was an ICON but WHO KNEW Coleen would turn out to be a true Wagatha Christie?

 

[Kala]

OMG This is from Coleen's Wikipedia page

 

[Rita]

OMG This is from Coleen's Wikipedia page

 

[Kala]

The internet has EXPLODED with this today. I haven't seen anything like this in a while. I suppose it's a bit of light-hearted relief after the SHIT that's going on.

 

[Indie]

Why would Merseyside police be investigaing the disappearance of someone who lived in Leicestershire

If you're going to make a joke at least make it plausable

 

[Kala]

And here's what could be some evidence. This is one of the stories that Coleen says she made up on her Instagram stories...