Favourite wife of King Henry VIII?

Six divas, one record contract


  • Total voters
    29

dmlaw

Democracy doesn't work
Joined
Aug 24, 2009
Messages
17,232
they had no choice :oi: and take that back about C-How - she had a rough childhood, she wasn't watching fucking Batman and Robin or following Question Time :evil:
She's undoubtedly a tragic figure, but she's also undoubtedly not bright. You've married a psychotic, dying king who has already killed one wife for having an affair. At least keep it discreet, girl.
 

Gangsta Nancy Lam

Slut's Spaghetti
Joined
Jun 6, 2012
Messages
13,252
Location
Hell
I recently learnt that he probably didn't write this, but that he DID write a song called Pastime With Good Company aka Rollin With the Homies, and it's actually quite GOOD!


My rejected entry from dmlawfestivalen because it was actually #1 in 1537 for fifteen weeks :(

Anne Boleyn in The Tower of London (1536) colourised:

clueless movie tai GIF
 

Ellie

Super talented triple threat
Joined
Feb 3, 2004
Messages
49,918
Location
From Despair To Where
4. Anne of Cleves - I think her reputation as a #catfish is probably quite unfair, and Henry just no longer needed the alliance she was there to create now that the risk of invasion from Europe had died down, but at the end of the day, she lived the rest of her life in luxury and didn't have to nurse Henry's oozing wounds, so she's the real winner.
:D
 

VoR

Take it or leave it
Joined
Feb 3, 2004
Messages
117,378
Location
The Cinema
Aragon for being both fabulously dignified and also a bitter bitch who just wouldn't let go :disco:

Though I also have a lot of time for underrated schemer LADY JANE ROCHFORD
 

funky

User
Joined
Apr 30, 2004
Messages
84,413
I’m RELATED to Anne Boleyn according to a cousins DNA thingy

so I’ll go with that
 

KindaCool

You've got issues.
Joined
Nov 13, 2012
Messages
15,792
Location
Chicago
Ugh, I would've killed for a Real Housewives of Henry VIII.

“If you’re offended by what I say, imagine what I’m praying.”
 

Ag

User
Joined
Aug 3, 2009
Messages
207,842
Location
Your womb
I feel like the person asking if Henry VIII had a big dick, then coming for others for voting for Anne Boleyn needs some time to self reflect.

@KindaCool You can either spend time perfecting embroidery and the harp, whilst looking wistfully over the smaller secret lake or face beheading.

It's a generous choice, I think you'll agree.
 

Suomi

User
Joined
Jun 16, 2004
Messages
50,600
I honestly think this topic demonstrates that most of us have the capacity to successfully utilise the new History Forum with sophistication and decorum.
My faith in this was somewhat diminished when a moderator added RACHEY as one of the poll options :oi:
 

ButterTart

Party dude
Joined
Jul 27, 2014
Messages
38,403
Location
The Land of Broken Dreams
1. Catherine of Aragon - When they did that docusoap about The Tudors a few years ago and it turned out she was Maria Doyle Kennedy all along, it just cemented her as the underrated star of the whole dynasty.

2. Anne of Cleves - I like that they stayed friends and she was the only one Henry actually gave a shit about right to the end. It just goes to show ugly people actually DO have smashing personalities.

3. Anne Boleyn - The olden days Grace Adams-Short. She sounds like a fucking nightmare but I reckon she was really good with a savage putdown, like Selina Meyer off the Veep. "Shut thine mouth, thou jolly green jizzvisage"

4. Catherine Howard - I like to imagine her as fit and evil, like Sarah Michelle Gellar in Cruel Intentions. Now you've softened her image it's cost her a few points.

5. Catherine Parr - Nobody cares about this one because nothing shit happened to her. Not objectively bad, just a victim of lousy PR.

6. Jane Seymour - Doctor Quinn Medicine Woman was fucking shit and I hated it. I'm glad she became an American citizen because it saved me the job of disowning her.
 

VoR

Take it or leave it
Joined
Feb 3, 2004
Messages
117,378
Location
The Cinema
I quite enjoy this YouTube channel. The host goes deep on all sorts of (mostly female) Tudor side-characters and re-examines all the old ’SLUTS and HARLOTS’ narratives peddled by David Starkey et al.

 

FetchFugly

closing in again
Joined
Feb 2, 2005
Messages
19,017
Aragon, Boleyn and Parr are the top three, Cleves is a comfortable fourth (not everyone is lucky enough to be portrayed by acting royalty Joss Stone) and Howard and Seymour are singing for survival.
 

Suomi

User
Joined
Jun 16, 2004
Messages
50,600
Just to show that Moopy's voting is blowing in the right direction, I just read that Anne Boleyn filled the royal court with music and new FASHION from France, only for this to be banned by BORING OLD JANE when she became queen.
 

Rita

User
Joined
Nov 24, 2004
Messages
36,714
Catherine Howard for me. I always root for the underdog, and this poor troubled soul deserved so much MORE than HENRY THE OAF.
 

Kate

mildly communist
Joined
Feb 6, 2004
Messages
76,866
Location
loony left
I quite enjoy this YouTube channel. The host goes deep on all sorts of (mostly female) Tudor side-characters and re-examines all the old ’SLUTS and HARLOTS’ narratives peddled by David Starkey et al.

I FUCKING HATE THAT OLD CUNT STARKEY so will have to watch this.
 

Suomi

User
Joined
Jun 16, 2004
Messages
50,600
Really thrilled for Catherine Howard to pull out into 3rd place just above Rachey and Anne of Cleves. Jane Seymour still on 0% because nobody likes a swot.
 

Gangsta Nancy Lam

Slut's Spaghetti
Joined
Jun 6, 2012
Messages
13,252
Location
Hell
We have some BREAKING NEWS. The contemporary image most commonly cited as being of Catherine Howard might actually have been Anne of Cleves after all. Poor Cath can't catch a break.

 
  • Like
Reactions: Ag

Tisch

Moopy GOLD™ member
Joined
Jun 11, 2010
Messages
29,912
Location
South Sandwich Islands
We have some BREAKING NEWS. The contemporary image most commonly cited as being of Catherine Howard might actually have been Anne of Cleves after all. Poor Cath can't catch a break.

:o Anne of Cleves actually quite 'fit after all' according to Heat!"
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom