Hilariously awful pop music

That One

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The follow up to the top ten hit "I Love My Radio", this reached #59 for Taffy in 1987. I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT:

 
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That One

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This little DITTY was one of the top selected videos on LIFESTYLE SATELLITE JUKEBOX in the early 90s - entirely due to the video which features lots of TITS n MINGE. I still ABSOLUTELY LOVE the song to this day:

The video has been cleaned up for youtube :(

<iframe width="640" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/x2tkmqHldYg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
 

That One

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Another Lifestyle Satellite Jukebox favourite, with the worst song and video of ALL TIME:

 
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That One

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And finally, excaping the youtube censors, BARBARELLA - WE CHEER YOU UP (IN THE PIN UP CLUB)

 
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David

Misanthropic Old Bastard
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Fuck me, I remember 'Hello' and 'We Cheer You Up' on Lifestyle from when I first got Sky in 1991. :o
 

Mugatu

🚀 🚀 🚀
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I just totally LOST MY SHIT to Spectacular :D My current favourite parts are when she goes "uh ah uh ah...OOH" and the bit at about 1.54 when the man's face jerks around violently. Plus she ACTUALLY LOOKS like a prostitute.
 

Lee

Ne me quitte pas
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OH MY GOD, I'm SO GLAD someone else knows this PIECE OF HORROR. It remains a comedy moment amongst me and my friends, mainly for the BLACK TOOTHED HARRIDAN that is Helen Love throwing her fingers around, pouting "NO MORE" and trying to look sexy whilst a) not being able to sing, b) wearing something from Etam and c) STANDING IN FUCKING MARTHAS.

God I love it

I'm sure I have photos of my friends repeating the moves against the wall.
It's ART.
My favourite bit is Wesley (?) trying to act with the wine. To think he got into a London musical.
 

aquaplex

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Oh I thought this was a new thread. Lemonescent got DISQUALIFIED from the charts when the official charts noticed peculiar bulk buying going on in Scotland, accused them of chart rigging and would not allow the single to chart to the dizzy heights of, probably 38.

Other trash
Ahead of their time, and all with the tech such as big computer monitors and roller skates… E-male with We Are e-male (we just can’t fail. Hmm)


Sonic Avengers - Funk N Drive which included the lyrics “sun bass woofer” and lots of use of the word phatt. Two skanky twins in their 4x4 - enjoy this recently digitised video!


Kerri-Ann - Do You Love Me Boy
Which for some reason has a calypso carnival vibe yet seems to be filmed behind Tesco in Rotherham


And the recebtly put onto streaming icons Diva with their breathless (tuneless and soul less) cover of The Sun Always Shines on TV. Instead of being marketed to the gays, these two Pamela Anderson wannabes we’re marketed to grans at this concert with their home made dance routines. My favourite bit is just before the second verse when the dominant one stops hogging the stage and steps back to let the other one shine, only for her to do a shit wiggle and give up.
 

COB

BADモード
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I have a memory of my sister having a NAKED ISSUE of Cosmopolitan that featured one of the members of E-Male nude (bum to camera) but still in rollerblades OBVS that I appreciated quite a lot at the time.
 

aquaplex

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Oh also this.

Michael Ball raiding the old peoples home in an effort to get a quick cheap hit after Dame Vera told him to piss off as she was busy washing her chuff. Did Tom Moore know what was going on? I love how Michael Ball was all “what would be the thing an old man would want? More money for the charity? Some nice biscuits from Nisa? A new zimmerframe? No A NUMBER ONE SINGLE. I’m sure Tom had been dreaming of that since he first started listening to the Top 40 in April 2020.
 
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POP!

Behind the velvet rope.
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Nov 27, 2007
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Some American CRAP:

Willa Ford sporting her new implants with a Lil Kim impersonator



Debbie Gibson's version of shocking naughty behavior - spilling a glass of wine and playing footsie under the dinner table!



Jamie Lynn Sigler - oh 9/11 just happened - let's put her in a patriotic top!



Brooke Hogan - ok this was actually a pretty good song in retrospect :D but the idea of Brooke Hogan getting a radio hit that made #33 on the Hot 100 is quite mind-boggling to me

 

aquaplex

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Alberta manically dancing about singing about her yo yo boy who’s playing with his toy.


Brigitte Nielsen grabbing someone anyone from the audience of Esther Rantzen or Gloria Hunnifords chat show


And obvs good old Tracy
 

straightorbroken

rebel heart
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Diva are absolute legends. I love the actual video for Sun, but that "bored porn star" live lip sync was the right call :disco:
 

POP!

Behind the velvet rope.
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If you thought Alexandra Stan was a singing prostitute you ain't seen nothing yet. This girl was basically a cumbucket on legs -


@JET BOY will never see this but this gave me one of my biggest laughs of 2021 on moopy :D
 

lolly

Rowena? From Kuwait?
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And the recebtly put onto streaming icons Diva with their breathless (tuneless and soul less) cover of The Sun Always Shines on TV. Instead of being marketed to the gays, these two Pamela Anderson wannabes we’re marketed to grans at this concert with their home made dance routines. My favourite bit is just before the second verse when the dominant one stops hogging the stage and steps back to let the other one shine, only for her to do a shit wiggle and give up.

Fuck me that's appalling. Borderline iconic armography, though.
 

straightorbroken

rebel heart
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I am always hesitant to share any music as I hoard it all for ASFM, but since she's a brainwashed, drug-fueled propaganda mouthpiece these days I'll slop it here. She barely even breathes on this track, which is the only time we ever got what felt like a Diva 2.0. And it burns.

 

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