London Mayoral Election: 2 May 2024

[big ron]

Ah yes, the woke met police.

 

[octophone]

Ah yes, the woke met police.

Famously woke. Not at all full of racists, rapists and thugs.

 

[octophone]

This horrifyingly pale rat-faced array of absolute CUNTS!

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I would boot every single one of these people in the face for a laugh.

 

[octophone]

Oh, Britain First's "office" is Unit 100....at a branch of Mail Boxes Etc.

 

[Kate]

There do seem to be a load of people OBSESSED with ULEZ. As a non-driver of course I couldn't give a flying fuck. You live in a city with a massive and for all its flaws still EXCELLENT public transport system, stop fucking moaning about your stupid vroom-vroom machine.

 

[Lucille]

My Dad is OBSESSED with it and lives in Yorkshire and never comes to London!!!

 

[octophone]

There do seem to be a load of people OBSESSED with ULEZ. As a non-driver of course I couldn't give a flying fuck. You live in a city with a massive and for all its flaws still EXCELLENT public transport system, stop fucking moaning about your stupid vroom-vroom machine.

But busses are for PLEBS! It's bad enough living in Zone 5 without having to commune with the proles. My massive all-terrain climatefucker is how people know I'm IMPORTANT.

 

[Kate]

Plus we can’t POSSIBLY make little Orlando WALK the seven minutes to school! He’s such a delicate flower!

 

[Kratz]

Of course I wouldn’t DEIGN to take public transport other than a taxi but the reality is ULEZ impacts only a very small percentage of vehicles anyway.

 

[Ill Advised]

 

[Funky]

Go IN Sadiq.

 

[Lucille]

Help I’m getting so many targeted ads for Susan Hall, is this because I moved to the borough of Croydon?

 

[Finn]

I expect your google searches and online behaviour patterns have profiled you as Tory-leaning

 

[Kratz]

This is next week, I am in LA, and I don’t have a postal vote. I hope Susan doesn’t lose by ONE!