I am lying on the floor.4th: Martin Vučic - Make My Day (121 points)
Oh, you EVIL SICK PIGS!
Now look, obviously the Macedonian round kicked off with one of the great comedy classics this week. However, for my money, this is right up there with XXL as an all-timer. Many a pleasurable hour has been spent this week in fits of giggles at the sheer VOLUME of hysterical moments and details in this one. I mean, where to BEGIN? REALLY I THINK WE MUST
The HIPPIE LESBIAN IN MILLENNIAL PINK CORDUROY AT GREENHAM COMMON GET-UP! The SULTRY FRUGGING at 1:19! The moment where he suddenly FEELS HIS OATS in front of an entire continent immediately after at 1:24! The utterly apathetic finger twirling and clapping throughout! The dead-eyed whores throwing themselves about through an entire song about wanting a breakup! The failed attempt at dancing at 2:12 which turns into him nearly tripping over himself! The COMPULSORY 2005 CONTEST DRUM SOLO! The whores immediately strutting across and twerking before twerking was even a THING in the EXACT style of the Army of Lovers making out to distract from La Camilla's lip syncing during Rockin' The Ride! The COMPULSORY BALKAN TWIRLING FOR THE KEY CHANGE! The main one going into the DE RIGEUER splits a la Kennedy Davenport at the climax with such ease as to suggest she could have done them onto a bollard without wincing! The COMPLETELY UNTELLABLE SENSE as to whether he thinks he's nailing the whole thing or not! And an ABSOLUTELY LIFELESS BANGER TO BOOT! QUEEN!
2 x 12 (Penelope, Suomi - people who understand STATEMENTS )
2 x 0 (Kratz, Ill Advised)
What interesting voting! All those twelves and nearly last. I think Karolina potentially suffered from having two entries in this. Visually this is stunning, love her for trying so hard here and then when that didn’t work, coming back with the Balkan Hero7th: Karolina - Od nas zavisi (98 points)
Some HIGH DRAMA and VoR appeal here for the first of Karolina's attempts, although one where you can see the REASONING behind the underperformance - both here and at Eurovision. After a statement intro leading with a stirring orchestral motif and Karolina emerging from BEHIND A SCREEN (), it's a track which then...doesn't really go anywhere, or find its way to anything resembling a memorable hook. Loathed and disdained by posters ranging from @David 5000 to @HerSereneHighnessAnniFrid (who describes this as one of his "least favourite Eurovision entries ever"), defenders such as @VoR have been known to characterise this as a "mood piece". Obviously, you are all correct - all of those things are true
For my part, I'll say it feels a little curiously out of time. I could imagine it fitting in much better in 1998 (and that year's contest), although obviously nothing a bit dated could feel too out of place amidst the ramshackle charms of the 2002 contest. (Separately - what a WASTE of a costume reveal! Talk about BLINK AND YOU'D MISS IT)
5 x 12 (VoR, Ill Advised, wurst, win the game, auretz)
2 x 0 (ButterTart, Tisch)
3rd: Elena Risteska - Ninanajna (139 points)
And representing the spiritual evolution of one of those dead-eyed whores from backing dancer to frontwoman, we have Elena Risteska the year after
The only entry in the contest's history referencing Beyoncé and Shakira (to my knowledge), I was a little surprised this did as well as it did, given for all intents and purposes it's basically a vision of Tulisa at Eurovision - not something I'd oppose by any means, but also not exactly something I had Moopy down for either
Probably the most on trend Macedonia has ever been, this was of a piece with plenty of tracks on the Billboard Hot 100 around 2005/2006, and probably just a Daddy Yankee feature away from joining them if she'd been able to work a few L.A. connections. Alas, she had to instead just settle for being Macedonia's most successful entry ever until Tamara Mark II, making it to the left hand side and the lofty heights of 12th place - a genuinely impressive feat, considering she had one of the less vocally competent performances of the contest to boot.
Elena was last seen in 2014 on curious talent contest Your Face Sounds Familiar (think Stars In Their Eyes meets the Masked Singer), finishing as runner-up while impersonating Beyoncé. I almost daren't look up the videos.
3 x 12 (Kratz, Queen of the Bay, Diddy)
1 x 0 (Raining On Me)
The man in the background looks like he's wrestling a stage invader.2nd: Karolina - Mojot svet (141 points)
What do you do after failing the first time you enter Eurovision? You COME BACK FIVE YEARS LATER WITH A CHORUS
A favourite of mine at the time, I'd more or less completely forgotten this until this week and OMG - considering it only came 14th at the time, behind such LUMINARY ENTRIES as Liubi Liubi I Love You, Rijeka bez imena, and Anytime You Need, talk about FUCKING ROBBED! Even notoriously Slavophobic sour old fart Wogan was mesmered by this - although probably more perchance by the LEGS FOR DAYS, than the hypnotic NAJNANAJNA vocal hook and genuinely rousing chorus that have had me smitten for the last seven days.
Karolina went on to become one of Macedonia's biggest artists, releasing two traditionally-inspired albums in 2008 and 2014 which were the biggest of their respective years in the local charts, but past those doesn't appear to have done much since. Given the relatively narrow seam the Macedonians have to mine from in a small music industry, and the light scent of unfinished business hovering over Karolina watching this performance, I wouldn't be surprised to see her back at some point down the line. I'll bet she's aging into her 40s marvellously and all!
4 x 12 (Broomhelga, Madison, Raining On Me, dmlaw)
1 x 1 (win the game)