Moopyvision 2000-2009: Round 1 - Sweden, UK & Macedonia RESULTS

ButterTart

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10th: Martin Stenmarck - Las Vegas (15 points)
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Go on girl, give us nothing! :disco:

Possibly the standout instance in the decade of a nation dropping the ball in its televised selection, gays across a continent were left horrified and tutting after having their Pavlovian instincts whetted in the high-wattage 2005 final by Sweden’s flag coming up, only for an OC-haired heterosexual to come manspreading out with a bevy of whores in the latest Juicy Couture fashions of the time and a song with all the excitement of an X Factor Big Band week. To add insult to injury, gays doing the extra reading have spent the years since being aghast on finding out it denied us THIS mad old witch manspreading out with a bevy of whores and chubby guitarists in the latest Juicy Cou-[someone give this sentence a better ending for me please cheers thanks x]. Fine, he made it up to us later to some extent with a fuckable bald phase and a fairly listenable Melodifestivalen comeback nearly a decade later, but some crimes truly do DEFY FORGIVENESS

With an overwhelming dismissal of a score from Moopy matched only by the likes of So Lucky and That’s How You Write A Song, I declare this NEITHER USE NOR ORNAMENT!

1 x 5 (David 5000)
15 x 0 (VoR, Penelope, Soldi, Pingu, ButterTart, Suomi, Ag, Tisch, ZenGiraffe, Music, Ill Advised, Broomhelga, Jacques, auretz, Diddy)
Pleased to see När änglarna går hem getting some recognition :disco:
 

ButterTart

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6th: Malena Ernman - La voix (104 points)
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:greta:

Probably the clearest example of a trend that started to sink Sweden towards the end of the decade (with the exception of Charlotte Perrelli's record-breaking victory in 2008) of Melodifestivalen winners not really managing to translate to the Eurovision main stage. What was an OMG/10 money note moment with six backing dancers and the aid of a backing tape for backing vocals rounding out a glittering Melodifestivalen final in Globen in March turned out to be a bit forgettable performing from fourth limited to just five backing dancers that also had to double up as backing singers. Little surprise that the sound wasn't quite so stunning to all viewers the second time around and Malena ended up giving the Swedes their worst result of the decade. Still, worse was yet to follow and a big rethink of the approach Melodifestivalen winners took to the contest was just around the corner...

La Voix is probably one of the most important Eurovision entries of all time. In a contest still dominated by women shouting ballads, it was a significant surge forward in bringing contemporary pop music to the main stage. There is an urgency to it that instructs its listener to keep on dancing, even when the chips are down. And in a post 'Dima Bilan winning Eurovision' landscape, it proved more poignant than ever

2 x 8 (ButterTart, wurst)
1 x 0 (Zu 2)
Horrified that this is so low. First her daughter stops speaking to her because she found out Malena had bought a petrol lawnmower, now THIS indignity :(
 

Penelope

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5th: Jade Ewen - It's My Time (142 points)
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The root of the Netherlands revival in the 2010s came after a drunk Anouk threw down her wine bottle at home after Joan Franka went out in the semi-finals, and decided if nobody else would step up to get the Dutch a decent result, she'd have to do it. That led to a chain of events that saw them get their first victory since 1975 and bring the contest to Rotterdam this year. World-renowned musical theatre maestro and saggy balloon Andrew Lloyd-Webber making the same decision for the UK after Andy Abraham's failure...did not set off a similar chain of events :bruised:

Thankfully, it at least at the time got the UK its second top five finish of the decade - benefiting massively from the reintroduction of the juries in 2009, but also managing a top ten finish with televoters. It's certainly among the most accomplished entries the UK has managed this century, but really, you'd probably send it back if it hadn't been given the calibre of the songwriters. I can't say I find it all that inspiring, and a low finish here considering the high finish on the scoreboard suggests much of Moopy wasn't buying this glorified X Factor winner's song either after all the dust had cleared from the night. And obviously, Jade went on to FAR GREATER, SEXIER HEIGHTS in the Sugababes - and on SPLASH :disco:

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3 x 12 (Kratz, Ag, Broomhelga)
1 x 0 (ZenGiraffe)
 
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Penelope

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I still don’t entirely understand how It’s My Time did so well. It’s so boring!
Old people who love a bit of basic musical theatre (and probably the FAMED EBU HEAVY LEAN on the juries for entries they don't want to see embarrassed)
 

Zu 2

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I still don’t entirely understand how It’s My Time did so well. It’s so boring!
I think it's... alright but very musical theatre, inevitably. Perhaps it excited depressed Starlight Express fans :disco:
 

ButterTart

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4th: Roger Pontare - When Spirits Are Calling My Name (133 points)
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Winning the REAL PRIZE here - of who'd nab fourth behind the schlagerqueens - SYPHILITIC OLD RODGE manages to coast in pretty comfortably ahead of the rest, a clear 26 points past Fame.

This one has the benighted title of being the first Eurovision entry to truly MESMER a young Penelope en route to making me a lifer, a big, dramatic, tribal jojkrock-musical theatre stomper that went down an absolute storm with the home audience and garnered a very respectable top ten entry. Mad old Rodge came back a few times after this to Melodifestivalen with Queenesque banger Silverland and...the less banging Himmel och hav, but really, you can imagine him doing a lot with some of the entries we've had in the contest proper since (just IMAGINE if we'd had his level of WILD COMMITMENT on Higher Ground!) Probably the platonic ideal of a host entry, I'm a little surprised this isn't a furrow the Swedes go back to a little more often. It suits them well!

2 x 12 (ButterTart, dmlaw)
1 x 1 (Kratz - RACIST!)
Fourth is a sad inevitability but I'm proud of Mad Rog for managing to get this far and surmounting so many obstacles which would traditionally alienate him from the Moopy crowd, such as being a man and having a penis.

It's worth pointing out that Mad Rog is the only man to have won Melodifestivalen three times, as long as you ignore the songs that beat Silverland and Himmel och hav.
 

Raining On Me

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Horrified that this is so low. First her daughter stops speaking to her because she found out Malena had bought a petrol lawnmower, now THIS indignity :(

It always annoyed me that in the book version of Misery, Annie quite logically and camply chops up the police guy with a lawnmower and in the film she just pedestrianly...shoots him (or hits him? Oh who knows)

This is relevant to this thread because three of the UK entrants from this decade were killed by lawnmowers :(
 

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2nd: Carola - Invincible (212 points)
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Where one goes, the others follow...

In the wake of Lena's career revival in 2004 - scoring herself as number one hit and number one album in the process - other 80s icons decided to get in on the game too, with Nanne Grönvall scoring the biggest hit of her career and only barely missing out on the Eurovision ticket with Håll om mig the year after. And so of course, the nation's biggest 80s icon of all (Främling being the biggest selling album of all time in Sweden), twice-Eurovision entrant and part-time skeksis Carol Hagbits SAW HER OPENING

Practically deciding the result of that year's Melodifestivalen the second her name was announced, schlager odyssey Evighet went into the contest with sky-high expectations and somehow managed to meet them all, sending gays, flag manufacturers and audience members into fits of ecstasy on its debut (literally - my favourite part of this performance is probably the random audience members going into SPONTANEOUS RAPTURE throughout :D)



Naturally, everything else was left mulch in its wake. Lena - in perfect poetry, hosting the contest that year - summed up the expectation asking a dead-eyed Carola in the final if she'd already booked her hotel in Athens. And so it followed. Sadly, on arrival she was beaten out by the only other flesh-eating monsters entering that year's contest. The evil being defeated, she was exiled back to Sweden forevermore :(

6 x 12 (Madison, win the game, Broomhelga, Pingu, Soldi, Zu 2)
2 x 4 (Kratz, ButterTart - LOCK YOUR DOORS AND STOCK UP ON SHOTGUN SHELLS, GIRLS!)
The final performance was such a let down. She treated those high notes the same way she would a lesbian daughter; shunning them altogether.
 

ButterTart

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10th: Andy Abraham - Even If (27 points)
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Oh, who CARES?

Probably the nadir of the UK's participation in Eurovision, this felt every bit the reheated leftovers of uninspired, mid-00s ITV Saturday night entertainment that it was. Music for people who get excited by covers of We Are Family. To its credit, it did at least manage to deliver us from Terry Wogan, who really took to this - forcing it into the final of the UK selection with his wildcard - and stropped on out of the UK presenting gig when it came joint last in Belgrade.

2 x 4 (Pingu, Queen of the Bay)
14 x 0 (dmlaw, Raining On Me, wurst, David 5000, Jacques, Broomhelga, Ill Advised, Ag, Tisch, ButterTart, Kratz, Soldi, Penelope, VoR)
Good. FUCK OFF.
 

Kratz

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Wasn’t there a rumour that ‘Even If’ did incredibly well on the back-up jury vote?
 

Raining On Me

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:D at the zero for Jade.

It really is just very, very boring and to top it all her vocal (from what you'd expect, for that sort of song) was "fine" at best.

It feels like such an arrogance in a way and although I'm loathe to snatch a rare good result away from the UK, I think I'd rather it had gone to several of the other flops and this had died (with ALW with it, on stage, at the piano) like it probably deserved with a so-so 15th place instead
 

VoR

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The final performance was such a let down. She treated those high notes the same way she would a lesbian daughter; shunning them altogether.

Her throat was absolutely fucked by that finals performance. There was just no way she could deliver to the standard she did in Melfest.

Shame, though I think Lordi were winning that year whatever she did.
 

Kratz

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Jade was better than song but I am loathed to pull the result apart - it deserved a top 5 finish. It was a decent song (if a little out of place) and an excellent performance.

And to be a UK Eurovision fan that night was truly joyous.
 

Penelope

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4th: Lindsay 'Big D' Dracass - No Dream Impossible (149 points)
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Like Leah Betts dying in Peacocks :disco:

Probably the entry other than Daz Sampson with the greatest claim to being on trend with the charts of the time, this one feels far better on paper than in practice. More than once over the last week I've found myself wincing when those deliciously dark verses and the soaring chorus suddenly transform into That Sounds Good To Me at the end of each chorus. And club tracks with DJ shoutouts don't have the best record either at the contest (as the likes of Have Some Fun and Lose Control went on to show later in the decade), though it was an admirable stab at seeing how things could work out for the genre - and you can certainly see the logic in a venue as huge as Parken, although one which sagged a bit with everyone being seated a mile away from the stage.

Again, it's a furrow I'm surprised we haven't tried more at, even if it didn't work out too well at the time - you can see how changing a couple of the parts of the formula here could end up somewhere pretty good.

2 x 12 (Suomi, Madison)
1 x 1 (Zu 2)
 

VoR

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Our Linds was the live entertainment when I watched Eurovision 2021 on Canal Street this year.

I don’t remember much of her set, but I don’t think that’s necessarily her fault.
 

ButterTart

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4th: Lindsay 'Big D' Dracass - No Dream Impossible (149 points)
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Like Leah Betts dying in Peacocks :disco:

Probably the entry other than Daz Sampson with the greatest claim to being on trend with the charts of the time, this one feels far better on paper than in practice. More than once over the last week I've found myself wincing when those deliciously dark verses and the soaring chorus suddenly transform into That Sounds Good To Me at the end of each chorus. And club tracks with DJ shoutouts don't have the best record either at the contest (as the likes of Have Some Fun and Lose Control went on to show later in the decade), though it was an admirable stab at seeing how things could work out for the genre - and you can certainly see the logic in a venue as huge as Parken, although one which sagged a bit with everyone being seated a mile away from the stage.

Again, it's a furrow I'm surprised we haven't tried more at, even if it didn't work out too well at the time - you can see how changing a couple of the parts of the formula here could end up somewhere pretty good.

2 x 12 (Suomi, Madison)
1 x 1 (Zu 2)
I still don't get why people didn't like this one. It shat on EVERYTHING from 2001, not least the eventual winner.

Also 'Leah Betts dying in Peacocks' :D
 

VoR

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It is a weirdly OK stab at something approximating pop in 2001. Kind of like if next year we sent that white kid who knew all the words to the Dave song at Glastonbury, rather than sending Dave himself.
 

VoR

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Terry Wogan’s PALPABLE RELIEF when she didn’t totally fuck up the glory note on the night may be the last time I ever heard him truly care.
 

Raining On Me

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Jade was better than song but I am loathed to pull the result apart - it deserved a top 5 finish. It was a decent song (if a little out of place) and an excellent performance.

And to be a UK Eurovision fan that night was truly joyous.

I mean there's no denying that last part, a case of not caring how we did it at that point, and the there was such a sense of...relief. But very much a quick port in a very long storm as it turned out

I think Jade IS better than the song - but in the sense she'd be a safe vocalist with a half decent banger rather than handling a ballad that puts all the emphasis on her voice.
 

ButterTart

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Well GET ON WITH IT THEN!

Is it XXX-rated?
It is if your idea of porn is the Grattan catalogue.

Basically I went to see him in concert a couple of years ago in Blackpool (underrated live performer, IMO. Both of the crowd hung on his every word). I look around and who should be in the seat behind me, but Daz (from Daz & Betty) off Coach Trip! So the only two famous people I know called Daz were both in the SAME PLACE AT THE SAME TIME :disco:.

We later saw Daz Sampson heading down the road with a woman on each arm, neither of whom looked capable of walking under their own power.
 

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