Moopyvision 2000-2009: Round 1 - Sweden, UK & Macedonia RESULTS

8th: Next Time - Nešto što ke ostane (34 points)
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Heterosexuality has long been a scourge of humanity. Sadly, it is a self-reproducing ill, and as such occasionally makes its way into the Eurovision Song Contest, where, much like ButterTart bottoming, we all have to just grit our teeth and bear it and remind ourselves it'll all be over in three minutes time. Much like ButterTart bottoming, this rote old piece of hair rock nonsense was also only popular with ButterTart (and select parts of Eastern Europe, making it as high as 10th in its semi-final (!), but thankfully being eliminated back in the days of the ludicrous 'top 9 and a jury wildcard' rule for gay-straight alliance unity candidates Waldo's People)

(Obviously there was VERY little here for me to take away, but my personal favourite moment is when the - presumably quite MASC for Macedonia / the 80s - pile of hair that is the lead singer decides halfway through to lie down in the middle of the floor next to... a picture of a woman? A picture of himself??? GENDER IS SO CONFUSING!)

1 x 12 (ButterTart)
13 x 0 (VoR, Penelope, Soldi, Pingu, Suomi, ZenGiraffe, Music, Queen of the Bay, Broomhelga, auretz, David 5000, win the game, wurst)
 
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7th: Karolina - Od nas zavisi (98 points)
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Some HIGH DRAMA and VoR appeal here for the first of Karolina's attempts, although one where you can see the REASONING behind the underperformance - both here and at Eurovision. After a statement intro leading with a stirring orchestral motif and Karolina emerging from BEHIND A SCREEN (:o), it's a track which then...doesn't really go anywhere, or find its way to anything resembling a memorable hook. Loathed and disdained by posters ranging from @David 5000 to @HerSereneHighnessAnniFrid (who describes this as one of his "least favourite Eurovision entries ever"), defenders such as @VoR have been known to characterise this as a "mood piece". Obviously, you are all correct - all of those things are true :disco:

For my part, I'll say it feels a little curiously out of time. I could imagine it fitting in much better in 1998 (and that year's contest), although obviously nothing a bit dated could feel too out of place amidst the ramshackle charms of the 2002 contest. (Separately - what a WASTE of a costume reveal! Talk about BLINK AND YOU'D MISS IT)

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5 x 12 (VoR, Ill Advised, wurst, win the game, auretz)
2 x 0 (ButterTart, Tisch)
 
Lightly concerned that none of the really horrible songs have appeared yet.
 
6th: Tamara, Vrčak & Adrian - Let Me Love You (101 points)
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The Macedonian voting stayed very tight for quite some time, holding out as a six-way race right up until the last couple of days. For my part, I was astonished this STYLING OCH CONSULTING nightmare was as popular as it was - WHAT'S THE APPEAL?

Tamara's first outing as well (repeat gigs being something of a go-to for Macedonia - it's a nation of 2 million people, cut them some slack!), the juries that famously rallied hard to her the second time around with better hair and a nicer frock rejected her here, with Macedonia ending up the wrong side of a 10th place finish and a jury snub for the wildcard both years that rule was in force for (the jury wildcard in the semi was never revealed but was alleged to have been Shady Lady). I've never been noted as a TAMARA STAN, but I will at least say that her voice seems much better suited to ballads than hand-me-down urban uptempos, veering just the wrong side of pitchy here for my tastes. The juries were RIGHT :hitler:

1 x 12 (Soldi)
1 x 0 (Diddy)
 
Tamara very much did not seem comfortable with the traditional Macedonian ‘wave your tits around and never mind the song’ ethic of this era.
 
5th: Toše Proeski - Life (111 points)
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The first of at least THREE Macedonian entrants in the 21st century to die (and frankly, the jury's still out on a few of the others), Toše was probably the biggest get of all of them for the contest, and the one most mourned by Macedonians. With five number ones to his name at the time of entering and thirteen in total including those after, honorifics like 'the Balkan Elvis' that popped up in his obituary after his untimely death in a car crash in 2007 aged 26 make an awful lot of sense - although the national day of mourning declared in Macedonia does feel a touch overbaked for someone who came 14th at Eurovision (while also utterly gladdening my heart as EXACTLY the kind of thing that would happen here for the likes of Nicki French were I ever to become queen)

Anyway, this was just very stylishly done, wasn't it? On mode with that ubiquitous 2003 Latin guitar sound of the time, you could easily see this fitting in as an album track on something like Justified. 14th feels a little harsh considering how well it was executed as a track and stage show (beneath On Again, Off Again?! You Are The Only One?!), but qualifying was probably the main victory given how competitive such things were in the early one-semi days. A case of a small nation playing their meagre hand to its maximum strengths.

1 x 12 (Pingu)
1 x 0 (dmlaw)
 
I honestly had no idea/recollection that Macedonia were so prevelant/successful in this decade as they were.

I feel like the latter 10s delivered their most delicious goods, albeit to the admiration of about 6 gays
 
4th: Martin Vučic - Make My Day (121 points)
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Oh, you EVIL SICK PIGS! :D

Now look, obviously the Macedonian round kicked off with one of the great comedy classics this week. However, for my money, this is right up there with XXL as an all-timer. Many a pleasurable hour has been spent this week in fits of giggles at the sheer VOLUME of hysterical moments and details in this one. I mean, where to BEGIN? REALLY I THINK WE MUST




The HIPPIE LESBIAN IN MILLENNIAL PINK CORDUROY AT GREENHAM COMMON GET-UP! The SULTRY FRUGGING at 1:19! The moment where he suddenly FEELS HIS OATS in front of an entire continent immediately after at 1:24! The utterly apathetic finger twirling and clapping throughout! The dead-eyed whores throwing themselves about through an entire song about wanting a breakup! The failed attempt at dancing at 2:12 which turns into him nearly tripping over himself! The COMPULSORY 2005 CONTEST DRUM SOLO! The whores immediately strutting across and twerking before twerking was even a THING in the EXACT style of the Army of Lovers making out to distract from La Camilla's lip syncing during Rockin' The Ride! The COMPULSORY BALKAN TWIRLING FOR THE KEY CHANGE! The main one going into the DE RIGEUER splits a la Kennedy Davenport at the climax with such ease as to suggest she could have done them onto a bollard without wincing! The COMPLETELY UNTELLABLE SENSE as to whether he thinks he's nailing the whole thing or not! And an ABSOLUTELY LIFELESS BANGER TO BOOT! :disco: QUEEN!

2 x 12 (Penelope, Suomi - people who understand STATEMENTS :evil:)
2 x 0 (Kratz, Ill Advised)
 
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Life (and that Tamara outing before it) were both ace though. Their death rate being as it is, I can only assume Tamara lives in a padded room like Ali Larter in Final Destination 2
 
4th: Martin Vučic - Make My Day (121 points)
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Oh, you EVIL SICK PIGS! :D

Now look, obviously the Macedonian round kicked off with one of the great comedy classics this week. However, for my money, this is right up there with XXL as an all-timer. Many a pleasurable hour has been spent this week in fits of giggles at the sheer VOLUME of hysterical moments and details in this one. I mean, where to BEGIN? REALLY I THINK WE MUST




The HIPPIE LESBIAN IN MILLENNIAL PINK CORDUROY AT GREENHAM COMMON GET-UP! The SULTRY FRUGGING at 1:19! The moment where he suddenly FEELS HIS OATS in front of an entire continent immediately after at 1:24! The utterly apathetic finger twirling and clapping throughout! The dead-eyed whores throwing themselves about through an entire song about wanting a breakup! The failed attempt at dancing at 2:12 which turns into him nearly tripping over himself! The COMPULSORY 2005 CONTEST DRUM SOLO! The whores immediately strutting across and twerking before twerking was even a THING in the EXACT style of the Army of Lovers making out to distract from La Camilla's lip syncing during Rockin' The Ride! The COMPULSORY BALKAN TWIRLING FOR THE KEY CHANGE! The main one going into the DE RIGEUER splits a la Kennedy Davenport at the climax with such ease as to suggest she could have done them onto a bollard without wincing! The COMPLETELY UNTELLABLE SENSE as to whether he thinks he's nailing the whole thing or not! And an ABSOLUTELY LIFELESS BANGER TO BOOT! :disco: QUEEN!

2 x 12 (Penelope, Suomi - people who understand STATEMENTS :evil:)
2 x 0 (Kratz, Ill Advised)

I am lying on the floor.

This is the sort of entry that i feel could have won had we been watching these entries together. I’d even argue that the absolute SCENES from 2:35 are up with Eurovision’s very best. Martin wore a terrible outfit so that Måns could win with his jumper ten years later.
 
7th: Karolina - Od nas zavisi (98 points)
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Some HIGH DRAMA and VoR appeal here for the first of Karolina's attempts, although one where you can see the REASONING behind the underperformance - both here and at Eurovision. After a statement intro leading with a stirring orchestral motif and Karolina emerging from BEHIND A SCREEN (:o), it's a track which then...doesn't really go anywhere, or find its way to anything resembling a memorable hook. Loathed and disdained by posters ranging from @David 5000 to @HerSereneHighnessAnniFrid (who describes this as one of his "least favourite Eurovision entries ever"), defenders such as @VoR have been known to characterise this as a "mood piece". Obviously, you are all correct - all of those things are true :disco:

For my part, I'll say it feels a little curiously out of time. I could imagine it fitting in much better in 1998 (and that year's contest), although obviously nothing a bit dated could feel too out of place amidst the ramshackle charms of the 2002 contest. (Separately - what a WASTE of a costume reveal! Talk about BLINK AND YOU'D MISS IT)

YiMCCa.gif


5 x 12 (VoR, Ill Advised, wurst, win the game, auretz)
2 x 0 (ButterTart, Tisch)
What interesting voting! All those twelves and nearly last. I think Karolina potentially suffered from having two entries in this. Visually this is stunning, love her for trying so hard here and then when that didn’t work, coming back with the Balkan Hero :disco:

 
3rd: Elena Risteska - Ninanajna (139 points)
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And representing the spiritual evolution of one of those dead-eyed whores from backing dancer to frontwoman, we have Elena Risteska the year after :disco:

The only entry in the contest's history referencing Beyoncé and Shakira (to my knowledge), I was a little surprised this did as well as it did, given for all intents and purposes it's basically a vision of Tulisa at Eurovision - not something I'd oppose by any means, but also not exactly something I had Moopy down for either :basil:

Probably the most on trend Macedonia has ever been, this was of a piece with plenty of tracks on the Billboard Hot 100 around 2005/2006, and probably just a Daddy Yankee feature away from joining them if she'd been able to work a few L.A. connections. Alas, she had to instead just settle for being Macedonia's most successful entry ever until Tamara Mark II, making it to the left hand side and the lofty heights of 12th place - a genuinely impressive feat, considering she had one of the less vocally competent performances of the contest to boot.

Elena was last seen in 2014 on curious talent contest Your Face Sounds Familiar (think Stars In Their Eyes meets the Masked Singer), finishing as runner-up while impersonating Beyoncé. I almost daren't look up the videos.

3 x 12 (Kratz, Queen of the Bay, Diddy)
1 x 0 (Raining On Me)
 
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I also did not give that 12. Although I see that it has now mysteriously disappeared. Almost as if someone had copied and pasted from the wrong column.
 
Imagine accusing somebody of being Tulisa. How vulgar!
3rd: Elena Risteska - Ninanajna (139 points)
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And representing the spiritual evolution of one of those dead-eyed whores from backing dancer to frontwoman, we have Elena Risteska the year after :disco:

The only entry in the contest's history referencing Beyoncé and Shakira (to my knowledge), I was a little surprised this did as well as it did, given for all intents and purposes it's basically a vision of Tulisa at Eurovision - not something I'd oppose by any means, but also not exactly something I had Moopy down for either :basil:

Probably the most on trend Macedonia has ever been, this was of a piece with plenty of tracks on the Billboard Hot 100 around 2005/2006, and probably just a Daddy Yankee feature away from joining them if she'd been able to work a few L.A. connections. Alas, she had to instead just settle for being Macedonia's most successful entry ever until Tamara Mark II, making it to the left hand side and the lofty heights of 12th place - a genuinely impressive feat, considering she had one of the less vocally competent performances of the contest to boot.

Elena was last seen in 2014 on curious talent contest Your Face Sounds Familiar (think Stars In Their Eyes meets the Masked Singer), finishing as runner-up while impersonating Beyoncé. I almost daren't look up the videos.

3 x 12 (Kratz, Queen of the Bay, Diddy)
1 x 0 (Raining On Me)
 
2nd: Karolina - Mojot svet (141 points)
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What do you do after failing the first time you enter Eurovision? You COME BACK FIVE YEARS LATER WITH A CHORUS

A favourite of mine at the time, I'd more or less completely forgotten this until this week and OMG - considering it only came 14th at the time, behind such LUMINARY ENTRIES as Liubi Liubi I Love You, Rijeka bez imena, and Anytime You Need, talk about FUCKING ROBBED! Even notoriously Slavophobic sour old fart Wogan was mesmered by this - although probably more perchance by the LEGS FOR DAYS, than the hypnotic NAJNANAJNA vocal hook and genuinely rousing chorus that have had me smitten for the last seven days.

Karolina went on to become one of Macedonia's biggest artists, releasing two traditionally-inspired albums in 2008 and 2014 which were the biggest of their respective years in the local charts, but past those doesn't appear to have done much since. Given the relatively narrow seam the Macedonians have to mine from in a small music industry, and the light scent of unfinished business hovering over Karolina watching this performance, I wouldn't be surprised to see her back at some point down the line. I'll bet she's aging into her 40s marvellously and all!

4 x 12 (Broomhelga, Madison, Raining On Me, dmlaw)
1 x 1 (win the game)
 
2nd: Karolina - Mojot svet (141 points)
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What do you do after failing the first time you enter Eurovision? You COME BACK FIVE YEARS LATER WITH A CHORUS

A favourite of mine at the time, I'd more or less completely forgotten this until this week and OMG - considering it only came 14th at the time, behind such LUMINARY ENTRIES as Liubi Liubi I Love You, Rijeka bez imena, and Anytime You Need, talk about FUCKING ROBBED! Even notoriously Slavophobic sour old fart Wogan was mesmered by this - although probably more perchance by the LEGS FOR DAYS, than the hypnotic NAJNANAJNA vocal hook and genuinely rousing chorus that have had me smitten for the last seven days.

Karolina went on to become one of Macedonia's biggest artists, releasing two traditionally-inspired albums in 2008 and 2014 which were the biggest of their respective years in the local charts, but past those doesn't appear to have done much since. Given the relatively narrow seam the Macedonians have to mine from in a small music industry, and the light scent of unfinished business hovering over Karolina watching this performance, I wouldn't be surprised to see her back at some point down the line. I'll bet she's aging into her 40s marvellously and all!

4 x 12 (Broomhelga, Madison, Raining On Me, dmlaw)
1 x 1 (win the game)
The man in the background looks like he's wrestling a stage invader.
 
1st: XXL - 100% te ljubam (158 points)
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The Spice Girls. En Vogue. XXL! :disco:

Good fucking LORD Moopy :D I was convinced halfway down the line it was going to be Karolina, but the further and further ahead that these HOT SEXY OPERATICALLY-TRAINED neon beauties pulled away, the more and more it made SENSE :disco: After all, how could it ever have been anything other than the most iconic Macedonian entry of all time? All of you will have your favourite moments from this long-time family favourite performance - mine's the eerily robotic UNCANNY VALLEY EFFECT of the camera shots and dance moves during the verses being impeccably identical each time :D

After engaging Nicki French and Linda Wagenmakers in a deathfight of irrelevance during the 2000 contest results (23 dead after XXL deployed their secret weapon in the Enschede fireworks disaster, though sadly this was not enough to pull our pastel queens ahead of Linda on the final scoreboard - though they did finish ahead of Nicholas, immediately destroying her career :disco:), two of XXL were enslaved, melted down for meat and recycled into future pervpop favourites Dolly Style. The remainder defected to ISIS.

4 x 12 (Tisch, ZenGiraffe, Music, David 5000)
1 x 0 (Madison)
 
Greetings, Moopyforum. It is we, XXL, Champion Eurosongers of Macedon 2000 and also number one, two, three and four prostitute in all Skopje. We love you one hundred per cent yes we do for very reasonable price.

Thanking yous for victory in Moopyvision decade competition. Dejan say all Moopy member get special discount and also no have use condom.
 
QUALIFIER RUNNING TALLY

Round 1
Former former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia: XXL - 100% te ljubam (2000)
Sweden: Charlotte Perrelli - Hero (2008)
United Kingdom: Jessica Garlick - Come Back (2002)

2000: 1
2001: 0
2002: 1
2003: 0
2004: 0
2005: 0
2006: 0
2007: 0
2008: 1
2009: 0
 
You know, I tell the authorities all the time that Moopy is full of good people and all those propane explosions were just a series of unfortunate accidents, but after this result I just don't know if I believe that anymore.

You've let yourselves down, you really have.
 
Lovely stuff Penelope. Lots of fun.

You really do have to stop and think about the fact that XXL beat poor Nicki!
 

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