Moopyvision 2000-2009: Round 4 - France, Bosnia & Ireland (CLOSES Sun 31 Oct, 2pm GMT)

Penelope

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Who wants some GALLIC BROODING, the Balkans' most aggressively pop nation of the 00s, and WHATEVER IRELAND IS this decade? YES! YOU do! Votes by PM to me by Sunday 31 October 2pm (GMT)!

France
france-162295__480.png


The French built themselves a nifty little brand of rousing power ballads over the first half of the decade, but after it started running into difficulties realised around the middle of the decade that they had to switch things up. Alas, pretty much everything else they tried ended up doing just as badly. A return to core brand values at the end of the decade restored national pride a little, and notched up a decent little score of 3 out of 10 for top tens over the 00s.






















2000: Sofia Mestari - On aura le ciel
2001: Natasha St-Pier - Je n'ai que mon âme
2002: Sandrine François - Il faut du temps
2003: Louisa Baïleche - Monts et merveilles
2004: Jonatan Cerrada - À chaque pas
2005: Ortal - Chacun pense à soi
2006: Virginie Pouchain - Il était temps
2007: Les Fatals Picards - L'amour à la française
2008: Sébastien Tellier - Divine
2009: Patricia Kaas - Et s'il fallait le faire

12
10
08
06
05
04
03
02
01
NUL POINTS
 
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Penelope

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Bosnia & Herzegovina
Flag_of_Bosnia_and_Herzegovina_%28Pantone%29.svg


Things started out a little chilled out ARTPOP for Bosnia in the 00s (who strangely ended up being relegated from the 2000 contest despite coming 7th in 1999), but quickly dove into some of the most offensive, egregiously poptastic nonsense any nation would serve up this decade, before scoring their all-time best result with a visit to the classic Balkan brand in 2006 and sticking to it from thereon out and generally hugging the top ten in the process. A fabulous little grab bag of a selection here for my money.




















2001: Nino Pršeš - Hano
2002: Maja - Na jastuku za dvoje
2003: Mija Martini - Ne brini
2004: Deen - In The Disco
2005: Femminem - Call Me
2006: Hari Mata Hari - Lejla
2007: Marija Šestić - Rijeka bez imena
2008: Laka - Pokušaj
2009: Regina - Bistra voda

12
10
08
06
04
03
02
01
NUL POINTS
 

Penelope

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Ireland
ireland-162323__340.png


The Irish went into this decade as the Greatest Of All Time, the MVPs who could eat up any nation for breakfast, off the back of a stormer of a decade during the 90s where they scored three wins on the trot, took a breather for one (while still lending the winners that year their entry's star violinist in any case), then totted another victory and then a silver medal on home turf following that to boot. Sure, it had been mostly jury driven, but surely any nation that could stack up that kind of record would be a force to be reckoned with in the decade after, right? Right?

...right?




















2000: Eamonn Toal - Millennium of Love
2001: Gary O'Shaughnessy - Without Your Love
2003: Mickey Joe Harte - We've Got The World
2004: Chris Doran - If My World Stopped Turning
2005: Donna & Joe - Love?
2006: Brian Kennedy - Every Song Is A Cry For Love
2007: Dervish - They Can't Stop The Spring
2008: Dustin the Turkey - Irelande douze pointe
2009: Sinéad Mulvey & Black Daisy - Et cetera

12
10
08
06
04
03
02
01
NUL POINTS
 
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Kratz

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If Javine was a cut-price Helena, was poor Ortal a bargain basement Javine?!
 
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Do we know if Louisa Baïleche is a pain to work with? Because I want to call her Louisa Ballache and I don’t want to waste a good nickname
Weirdly we have a similar word for nuisance, apparently crimean tatar, turkish, gaelic and arabic do too and now am trying to understand if it is a coincidence or a common Indo-European root.
 

Kratz

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The way it's genuinely an OPEN QUESTION who's been worse over the last two decades out of the UK and Ireland! :D
I would say it is Ireland. The lack of qualification probably makes it less obvious. Both have been awful but the UK did it with more charm (certainly in the noughties) and whilst the UK’s lows have been lower than Ireland (although, Dustin?) its few highs have been higher.

Astonishing slump considering these two countries were THE powerhouses of the 90s.
 

Suomi

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The way it's genuinely an OPEN QUESTION who's been worse over the last two decades out of the UK and Ireland! :D

Don't Play That Song Again vs Millenium of Love
No Dream Impossible vs Without Your Love
Come Back vs sitting at home watching the competition from the sidelines
Cry Baby
vs We've Got The World Tonight
Hold Onto Our Love vs If My World Stopped Turning
Touch My Fire vs Love?
Teenage Life
vs Every Song Is A Cry For Love
Flying The Flag For You vs They Can't Stop The Spring
Even If vs Irelande Douze Points
It's My Time vs Et Cetera
That Sounds Good To Me vs It's For You
I Can't vs Lipstick
Love Will Set You Free
vs Waterline
Believe In Me vs Only Love Survives
Children of The Universe vs Heartbeat
Still In Love With You vs Playing With Numbers
You're Not Alone vs Sunlight
Never Give Up On You
vs Dying To Have a Go
Storm vs Together
Bigger Than Us
vs 22
My Last Breath vs Story of My Life
Embers vs Maps

13-9 to the UK, according to science
 

Penelope

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Don't Play That Song Again vs Millennium of Love
No Dream Impossible vs Without Your Love
Come Back vs sitting at home watching the competition from the sidelines
Cry Baby vs We've Got The World Tonight
Hold Onto Our Love vs If My World Stopped Turning
Touch My Fire vs Love?
Teenage Life vs Every Song Is A Cry For Love
Flying The Flag For You vs They Can't Stop The Spring
Even If vs Irelande Douze Points
It's My Time vs Et Cetera
That Sounds Good To Me vs It's For You
I Can vs Lipstick
Love Will Set You Free
vs Waterline
Believe In Me vs Only Love Survives
Children of The Universe vs Heartbeat
Still In Love With You vs Playing With Numbers
You're Not Alone
vs Sunlight (fuck ME this one's brutal :zombie:)
Never Give Up On You vs Trying To Die
Storm vs Together
Bigger Than Us vs 22
My Last Breath vs Story of My Life
Embers vs Maps

What A WALKOVER! 15-7
 
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Penelope

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I'm actually screaming at how rancid this Irish selection is - although after that diabolical first half I actually think it gets quite FUN once they stop being earnest from around 2005 onwards :D Brian Kennedy truly is a CLASSIC VILLAIN for this round 😍
 
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Kratz

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I’m ready to declare Ireland as our worst nation yet. Poland could never!
 

Kratz

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Sorry to repeat myself but it such a foul line up of songs from Ireland. You can’t even say RTE was blind-sides by televoting. Sure half of their 1990s wins would probably not have happened without a jury vote but at least those were fundamentally good songs.

What was Enya doing whilst this was going on?
 

Penelope

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Sorry to repeat myself but it such a foul line up of songs from Ireland. You can’t even say RTE was blind-sides by televoting. Sure half of their 1990s wins would probably not have happened without a jury vote but at least those were fundamentally good songs.

What was Enya doing whilst this was going on?
Absolutely NOTHING in this Irish lineup even touches the DIRTIED DRAWERS of the saintéd Dawn Martin!
 

dmlaw

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Obviously, most of the Irish songs are utterly irredeemable, but at least they threw in a work of genius at the end of the decade. Not the turkey, perverts.
 

ButterTart

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Don't Play That Song Again vs Millenium of Love
No Dream Impossible vs Without Your Love
Come Back vs sitting at home watching the competition from the sidelines
Cry Baby
vs We've Got The World Tonight
Hold Onto Our Love vs If My World Stopped Turning
Touch My Fire vs Love?
Teenage Life
vs Every Song Is A Cry For Love
Flying The Flag For You vs They Can't Stop The Spring
Even If vs Irelande Douze Points
It's My Time vs Et Cetera
That Sounds Good To Me vs It's For You
I Can't vs Lipstick
Love Will Set You Free
vs Waterline
Believe In Me vs Only Love Survives
Children of The Universe vs Heartbeat
Still In Love With You vs Playing With Numbers
You're Not Alone vs Sunlight
Never Give Up On You
vs Dying To Have a Go
Storm vs Together
Bigger Than Us
vs 22
My Last Breath vs Story of My Life
Embers vs Maps

13-9 to the UK, according to science
We’ve Got The World is widely regarded as one of the most important literary moments of the decade, actually. They fired it into space so aliens who find it will think we’re cool.
 
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I'd honestly, genuinely rather watch Irelande Douze Points than ANY of the bland male tat Ireland sent in this decade :D

My favourite moment is during the DEATH RATTLE final scenes where one of the female dancers is stationary, but still desperately FLAPPING HER ARMS like some sort of turkey wing in the hope her efforts may help them gleam another point or two :D

The whole thing really smacks of everybody on stage (who isn't the deranged individual voicing Dustin The Turkey) simultaneously going "oh fuck we've actually got to PERFORM THIS SHIT now" :D

not quite Bulgaria's infamous Illusion levels of mess, but not all that far off :disco:
 

VoR

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I wonder how many countries could claim to have never sent a ‘joke’ entry to Eurovision?
 

Penelope

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I wonder how many countries could claim to have never sent a ‘joke’ entry to Eurovision?
Full credit to the Swedes and the Italians - they are basically about as earnest as each other when it comes to Eurovision, albeit in very different ways :D
 

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