Pingu's Ultimate 100 ESC Songs - THE COUNTDOWN

Pingu said:
Céline Dion - Ne Partez Pas Sans Moi (Switzerland 1988)
Unfortunately, unlike Carola, not everyone who makes an impression at Eurovision can go on to have a lengthy career. Poor Céline Dion from Switzerland managed to scrape a win by just one point, allowing her to make it into the Eurovision history books even if she didn't manage to capitalise on her success. This is a great French power ballad, the last one to make it all the way at Eurovision, but if you really want to do a deep dive while you're viewing this countdown, you should check out some of her subsequent English-language material. There's some great stuff in there that deserves a wider audience.
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I heard she became the lead singer of The Honeyz?
 
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Pingu said:
she's clearly one aria short of an opera
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The Greatest Showman Lol GIF by Sky
 
60. 🇸🇪 Chips - Dag efter dag (Sweden 1982)
God looking at these two and this performance I'm not totally sure what I was thinking putting this prototype Bobbysocks (they even share 50% of their members) so high up. I think I just really enjoy the studio version and again it's just one of those adorable housewives' favourite schlager standards that seems to get wheeled out around Melfest time. It does have a certain joie de vivre about it.
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59. 🇫🇮 Saara Aalto - Monsters (Finland 2018)
After rather enjoying her in a Finnish national final and then being amused at her showing up on the X Factor in the UK, I watched with astonishment and adoration as Saara Aalto defied the odds to get further and further in the competition and become the nation's sweetheart for approximately 3 days. Naturally, she was at the top of my Eurovision wishlist at that point and thankfully I didn't have to wait too long before she arrived along with the kitchen sink at the contest, giving quite frankly a fantasy Eurovision performance that was absolutely criminally underscored.
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58. 🇦🇺 Kate Miller-Heidke - Zero Gravity (Australia 2019)
It was a proper smug moment when everyone came on board with this in a huge way after I'd been raving about it since about three months before the contest. I can't blame them as the staging was nothing short of spectacular, but I do think there's a great song under there, even if it's a bit bonkers and switches genre about five times.
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57. 🇨🇭 Esther Ofarim - T'en Vas Pas (Switzerland 1963) 🥈
One of the oldest entries on this list, I think this is absolutely gorgeous, and Esther gives such a captivating performance, made partly possibly by the BBC's hosting of the contest and their realisation that it is first and foremost a TV show, utilising on screen effects and super close-ups. This was very nearly an early 2nd win for Switzerland, and would have been had it not been for Norway engaging in some of the most shameless voting shenanigans of the pre-Azerbaijan era to ultimately award Denmark the trophy.
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56. 🇺🇦 Mariya Yaremchuk - Tick Tock (Ukraine 2014)
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the Ukraine we have at Eurovision these days leaning into their national identity, bringing us bangers like Shum and potentially winning the thing - it's clearly serving them well - but I do miss the seemingly endless stream of pop dolls they brought us a decade ago and their trusty team of Swedes on speed dial who would transform shonky national final winners with lyrics like "we belong to each other like a sister to a brother" into pop behemoths like this, complete with a gimmick that really has become one for the age.
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55. 🇪🇸 Karina - En Un Mundo Nuevo (Spain 1971) 🥈
This is a relatively recent discovery for me, but I was happy to see that the winning formula for Spain at the tail end of the 60s continued into the 70s - get a woman in a statement outfit to shout and emote to 30 seconds of verse followed by 2:30 of chorus with an unfathomable number of key changes. It's not quite as frantic as the ultimate paragon of the genre, which may make an appearance later on, but it does make up for this with a false ending followed by ANOTHER key change. Spectacular.
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54. 🇸🇲 Senhit - Adrenalina (San Marino 2021)
It's been a year and I still can't believe this happened. Never mind Senhit returning with a seemingly endless pot of cash and becoming the passionate but hopeless Eurodiva for the new decade, but that performance and that guest appearance that against all the odds not only happened, but kind of worked in the end! I mean, not for the voters across Europe it didn't, but in hindsight she's pretty much the successor to Krista and Suzy in the hearts (and regional Europop club nights) of Eurovision fans, so it wouldn't have sat right if she had finished any higher than 22nd in the end.
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53. 🇬🇧 Bonnie Tyler - Believe In Me (United Kingdom 2013)
Here's another one I can't quite believe actually happened. Poor Bonnie Tyler got a bum deal and was never going to be well-received as our second consecutive entry on the wrong side of 60. It doesn't help that Believe In Me just wasn't really a competitive Eurovision song and her voice, which had a trademark husk to begin with, was shot to shit. However, as a song in its own right, I think it really holds up very well, and you know what? For a few minute during the final in 2013 when she ascended on that lift, I did have a little "oh my god, it's actual Bonnie Tyler representing us at Eurovision, this is incredible!" moment. It did pass.
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52. 🇳🇱 Common Linnets - Calm After The Storm (The Netherlands 2014) 🥈
As Bonnie illustrated the year before, country pop sometimes doesn't come across so well at Eurovision, and I think everyone's initial response to this was that they really liked it, but there's no way it would stand out enough to qualify. What a lovely surprise to see that they did exactly as they needed to do for the staging, and as it turned out, enough people liked this that its success shouldn't ever have been in doubt.
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51. 🇭🇺 Kati Wolf - What About My Dreams (Hungary 2011)
If any country was ever going to flounce off from Eurovision then I am glad it was Hungary. Wall to wall worthy Radio 2 nonsense from them that isn't really worth talking about, with the sole exception of this delightful moment in 2011, when for some reason they decided that Liz McDonald meets Lara Fabian was a winning formula. There were some alarm bells before the contest when videos of her caterwauling on Hungarian X Factor emerged, but thankfully they just about managed to keep her going completely awry by having her stand absolutely stone dead still on stage - needs must.
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50. 🇮🇪 Niamh Kavanagh - It's For You (Ireland 2010)
Oh I was so overjoyed when Niamh returned to the contest as a winner and as Eurovision royalty. It was time after a series of mishaps involving turkeys for Ireland to reclaim their crown and restore their former glories. It felt like this song was a return to what Ireland do best at Eurovision. Unfortunately though, Ireland's best at Eurovision was two decades previously, and nobody had quite banked on Niamh revelling in her royal status quite so much and enjoying the Norwegian hospitality to the extent that her voice was completely shot by the time the actual contest came around. It wasn't quite a Dana International level fall from grace, but it was pretty close. I still adore this song though.
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49. 🇲🇹 Claudette Pace - Desire (Malta 2000)
Simpler times, eh? This breezy calypso toot from a member of the Maltese Loose Women panel (wait, what do you mean she was only 32?!) managed to come top ten, and in what was already a strong Eurovision for pop fans, this really managed to worm its way into my affections, only growing on me more and more as the years have gone on. Claudette performs this with gusto and it's just so wonderfully infectious.
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48. 🇲🇹 Chiara - Angel (Malta 2005) 🥈
Another Maltese classic here, back in the day when it seemed like Chiara was having a go every other year. She was only in it three times, but that was enough for even casual viewers to be picking up on her seemingly constant presence. She entered second time around with an enhanced version of the formula that worked for her in 1998, and although this is pretty damn generic ballad territory looking back, I think there's a certain amount of nostalgia wrapped up in this, perhaps because it bagged 15 year-old Pingu his first ever win at the bookies (£17 was a lot of money back then).
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47. 🇪🇸 Nina - Nacida Para Amar (Spain 1989)
More classic balladry here, and even though Spain have had momentary success relatively recently with two mega-ballads, I think I prefer this old one to either Pastora or Ruth's efforts. Weirdly I don't think I have ever once seen this pop up "in the wild" at any Eurovision events or in Eurovision content over the years, and it was only a lonely evening's viewing of the supposed worst contest ever that drew this to my attention. I feel as a song that ticks all the Eurovision ballad boxes, it definitely deserves a wider audience.
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46. 🇬🇧 Sweet Dreams - I'm Never Giving Up (United Kingdom 1983)
Yes that's an allegedly young Carrie Grant in the middle there, but give this a chance. This relatively-disappointing-at-the-time 6th placed effort from us is catchy to an insane degree, and includes perhaps the best choreography involving chairs the world would see until Britney Spears reinvented the genre a generation later. It's gimmicky as hell (clearly they figured they were onto a good thing after the skirt gambit worked so well) but I'm all for it and the key-change/choreo combo is a masterpiece. If you think this is all a bit old hat then be sure to check out Ms Nicki French's funky and fresh donkified version of this released last year.
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Pingu said:
46. 🇬🇧 Sweet Dreams - I'm Never Giving Up (United Kingdom 1983)
Yes that's an allegedly young Carrie Grant in the middle there, but give this a chance. This relatively-disappointing-at-the-time 6th placed effort from us is catchy to an insane degree, and includes perhaps the best choreography involving chairs the world would see until Britney Spears reinvented the genre a generation later. It's gimmicky as hell (clearly they figured they were onto a good thing after the skirt gambit worked so well) but I'm all for it and the key-change/choreo combo is a masterpiece. If you think this is all a bit old hat then be sure to check out Ms Nicki French's funky and fresh donkified version of this released last year.
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TOO LOW!
 
45. 🇳🇴 KEiiNO - Spirit In The Sky (Norway 2019)
I have never been happier to be so completely wrong in my Eurovision predictions as I was in 2019. Keiino, a ragtag bunch of singers who had already failed to have much of a career on their own, formed specifically for Eurovision with a song clearly written for the contest, and pandering to the lowest common denominator of what makes "the fans" (like me) tick... I was thrilled with this but surely it was going to fail to qualify in spectacular fashion. Who was this for if not hardcore Eurovision fans who love a very specific kind of pop? Quite a few people as it turns out as it was the public's favourite that year and the group are still plugging away three years later. I don't know how lucrative the whole enterprise is, but they must be thanking their lucky stars with each day their 15 minutes is extended by.
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44. 🇬🇷 Anna Vissi - Everything (Greece 2006)
Oh how I wish more host entries were like this. There was such a celebratory feel to Greece marking their first hosting gig by sending their most popular female singer with a huge ballad that was quite audibly adored by the assembled masses. I would imagine we'll get something similar this year with Mahmood and Blanco, but the host broadcaster really should be putting their best foot forward more often, even if it's not with the express aim of winning. Anna didn't win, and apparently got quite a bit of backlash for "only" coming 9th, but what a performance! One of those rare moments at Eurovision that really feels like a true superstar moment.
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43. 🇲🇰 Jana Burčeska - Dance Alone (North Macedonia 2017)
I can't say I had ever been particularly enthused about anything Macedonia had sent to Eurovision up until this point. They never really seemed to fully get it. That all changed in 2017 when in quite a weak field, they surprised everyone with this excellent slice of electro-pop that felt so up to date, accompanied by an inspired music video. I'd have loved this from any country but here it felt like such a reinvention. Sadly, the live performance was very much the "old" Macedonia and the amateurish realisation was far less than this song deserved. I would have been gutted about it not qualifying, especially considering what a disappointing year it was, but in the end I wasn't particularly surprised.
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42. 🇸🇪 Eric Saade - Popular (Sweden 2011) 🥉
After a dodgy few years in the late 2000s, this was a proper return to form for Sweden, and it felt like the moment they found their sweet spot between the schlager days of old we all loved and the contest of the new decade. The song was big, the performance was big, the vocals also happened, and this marked the beginning of Sweden properly leading the way in the contest for a while. Some bemoaned the Swedish mode switching from 40-something woman to 20-something man, but in fairness, Eric did feel like an exciting prospect at the time, and even though he didn't become the worldwide superstar he clearly believed he could be, we've had a few banger from him through his involvement with the contest.
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41. 🇨🇭 Lys Assia - Refrain (Switzerland 1956) 🥇
Bless, the first ever winner with a song that epitomised the first decade of the contest, but I do think it deserved the title and stood up very well in comparison to most of the other dirge from the 50s and early 60s. It was always a delight to see her popping up year after year and to see the affection the fans had for her and that she had for the contest.
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40. 🇺🇦 Svetlana Loboda - Be My Valentine (Anti-Crisis Girl) (Ukraine 2009)
Has there ever been more of a full pelt kitchen-sink performance at Eurovision? Certainly at least not one that wore it so unashamedly on its sleeve as this, with Svetlana famously re-mortgaging her flat to pay for the stage show, or so we were told. With Ukraine having done so well in previous years and the contest living through an age of "more is more" I expected this to challenge for the win, rather than giving Ukraine on of their worst results to date. As you can see though, it's held out pretty well for me - even all these years later I'm still taken aback by the sheer audacity of it all.
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39. 🇮🇱 Dana International - Diva (Israel 1998) 🥇
Looking back, I THINK I had a sense of what a significant moment Dana's Eurovision win was, even watching my first ever contest at 8 years old. Given the continuing state of the general discourse around trans issues there continues to be today, it's actually crazy to realise this was 24 years ago. All I can say is thank god Terry Wogan was hosting the contest that year and so had to be on his best behaviour doing the commentary, because I DREAD to think... Anyway this was and remains and absolute banger and musically and symbolically it feels like the first winner of "new" Eurovision.
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38. 🇨🇭 Paolo Meneguzzi - Era Stupendo (Switzerland 2008)
With the prolonged absence of Italy at the contest, this felt like a really lovely and quite novel addition (I'm sure @Soldi would have been all about this had he been born yet). I loved how melodic it was and I was sold by the gradual, almost schlagery build throughout. Of course now if Italy entered this I'd probably just roll my eyes at the winner hype it was getting, although in fairness to Italy they would probably enter somebody who actually had a note in their head - the live performance well and truly put paid to any ambition this had.
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37. 🇦🇹 The Rounder Girls - All To You (Austria 2000)
Look, I don't know exactly why I have this Motown pastiche so high up on the list. 2000 was the first year of my Eurovision obsession and I didn't even notice this much at the time. I think it's only years later when I got the studio version I was hooked in by the uplifting infectiousness of it all, with an extended outro and everything! It was also lovely to hear this complete also-ran quite a bit at the contest in Vienna, although in fairness it's not like Austria had all that rich a Eurovision history to draw from. Pleasantly surprised to see today that this finished 14th - for some reason I had always assumed it got about 8 points.
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36. 🇮🇸 Heart 2 Heart - Nei Eða Já (Iceland 1992)
I know I said earlier that I preferred Finland's brand of minor-key 80s schlager to the more happy clappy variety, and this is very much in the latter camp, but come on this is so joyous! It may have come about half a decade too late to ride on the Bobbysocks coat tails, but if you have ever had the misfortune to find yourself watching the 1992 contest, you'll realise what an absolute ray of sunshine this is in among it all. Generally I think Iceland's entries have been pretty excellent through the years, but I always have a soft spot for when they have leant fully into the schlager.
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Pingu said:
51. 🇭🇺 Kati Wolf - What About My Dreams (Hungary 2011)
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I was there ..this went OFF like nothing else that night, apart from maybe the German entry for obvious reasons .. being in a football arena with a huge crowd going crazy to this was quite an experience.. the other unforgettable moment was when the European Hymn ( can we call it that ? ) was played at the beginning, with EVERYONE going completely crazy
 
Pingu said:
40. 🇺🇦 Svetlana Loboda - Be My Valentine (Anti-Crisis Girl) (Ukraine 2009)
Has there ever been more of a full pelt kitchen-sink performance at Eurovision? Certainly at least not one that wore it so unashamedly on its sleeve as this, with Svetlana famously re-mortgaging her flat to pay for the stage show, or so we were told. With Ukraine having done so well in previous years and the contest living through an age of "more is more" I expected this to challenge for the win, rather than giving Ukraine on of their worst results to date. As you can see though, it's held out pretty well for me - even all these years later I'm still taken aback by the sheer audacity of it all.
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39. 🇮🇱 Dana International - Diva (Israel 1998) 🥇
Looking back, I THINK I had a sense of what a significant moment Dana's Eurovision win was, even watching my first ever contest at 8 years old. Given the continuing state of the general discourse around trans issues there continues to be today, it's actually crazy to realise this was 24 years ago. All I can say is thank god Terry Wogan was hosting the contest that year and so had to be on his best behaviour doing the commentary, because I DREAD to think... Anyway this was and remains and absolute banger and musically and symbolically it feels like the first winner of "new" Eurovision.
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38. 🇨🇭 Paolo Meneguzzi - Era Stupendo (Switzerland 2008)
With the prolonged absence of Italy at the contest, this felt like a really lovely and quite novel addition (I'm sure @Soldi would have been all about this had he been born yet). I loved how melodic it was and I was sold by the gradual, almost schlagery build throughout. Of course now if Italy entered this I'd probably just roll my eyes at the winner hype it was getting, although in fairness to Italy they would probably enter somebody who actually had a note in their head - the live performance well and truly put paid to any ambition this had.
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37. 🇦🇹 The Rounder Girls - All To You (Austria 2000)
Look, I don't know exactly why I have this Motown pastiche so high up on the list. 2000 was the first year of my Eurovision obsession and I didn't even notice this much at the time. I think it's only years later when I got the studio version I was hooked in by the uplifting infectiousness of it all, with an extended outro and everything! It was also lovely to hear this complete also-ran quite a bit at the contest in Vienna, although in fairness it's not like Austria had all that rich a Eurovision history to draw from. Pleasantly surprised to see today that this finished 14th - for some reason I had always assumed it got about 8 points.
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36. 🇮🇸 Heart 2 Heart - Nei Eða Já (Iceland 1992)
I know I said earlier that I preferred Finland's brand of minor-key 80s schlager to the more happy clappy variety, and this is very much in the latter camp, but come on this is so joyous! It may have come about half a decade too late to ride on the Bobbysocks coat tails, but if you have ever had the misfortune to find yourself watching the 1992 contest, you'll realise what an absolute ray of sunshine this is in among it all. Generally I think Iceland's entries have been pretty excellent through the years, but I always have a soft spot for when they have leant fully into the schlager.
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I’m always surprised that people don’t seem that struck on Anti Crisis Girl when for me it’s a strong contender for Ukraine’s best entry. Glad to see it getting love here.
 
Also god yes everyone would be being insufferable about Era stupendo if it was sent today. I think I can dimly recall people being insufferable enough as it was about it at the time!
 
Well after confessing about Era Stupendo in the past, I got the old “oh lol Diddy is voting with his cock again” comments which were as reductive then as they are now.

Especially as I’m not exactly bowled over by Paolo’s drippy charms - there is that smile to camera just after the first chorus though, which i still can’t decide is cute or triple cringe :D
 
I’m now in Turin so these might get a little PATCHY but still aiming to finish before Saturday while people still give a shit. :D
 
35. 🇮🇱 Izhar Cohen - Olé Olé (Israel 1985)
Pre-2000s Israel basically had two kinds of Eurovision entry. The holding hands and singing together for peace anthem and the over-choreographed kids from fame cheese-athon. This falls very firmly into the second category and probably at the more overblown end of it, but my god it's so infectious. And it just keeps on building and getting more frantic as it goes along. I prefer this infinitely to the song that Izhar actually won with (and to most of Israel's winners come to that).
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34. 🇮🇪 The Swarbriggs Plus Two - It's Nice To Be In Love Again (Ireland 1977) 🥉
I feel like most of the songs I'm having to get defensive about here are Irish ones, but come on, once you get past the cynical attempt at recreating the Brotherhood of Man magic by adding two ladies (who are only worth naming as "plus two" apparently) to the existing Swarbriggs group, you'll come to appreciate what a wonderfully wholesome and catchy ditty this is. Sickly sweet throughout in a way that might make your teeth hurt at first, but it'll have you won around by the end*
*unless it doesn't
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33. 🇨🇾 Ivi Adamou - La La Love (Cyprus 2012)
This is one of a handful of songs from over the years that I would confidently say criminally underperformed. It's an absolute belter of a pop song and the fact it was a reasonable-sized hit afterwards backs that up. I suppose the fact the broadcaster was nearly bankrupt and only had a papier-mâché plinth to contribute to the staging, and the small matter of being in direct competition with Euphoria for the pop votes both put paid to its chances, but in the days before Cyprus's full reinvention as Eurovision's pop powerhouse, I think Ivi should still feel slightly hard done by.
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32. 🇫🇮 CatCat - Bye Bye Baby (Finland 1994)
Another ridiculous low placing on paper, with this Euroclub classic placing 22nd on the night, this time it's thanks to one of the worst arrangements ever heard on the Eurovision stage, with the Irish orchestra sapping all the urgent drama out of the studio version. And to think there are still people calling for the orchestra to be brought back! You can have a video dubbed with the studio version instead.
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31. 🇬🇧 Katrina and the Waves - Love Shine A Light (United Kingdom 1997) 🥇
The last of our five wins, 25 years ago and counting, is the only one that really stands up as a proper classic for me. It doesn't have the cloying naffness of our other winners, and has aged pretty well, to the extent that I'm convinced it would still win in 2022. As a Eurovision winner, I think it's in slight danger of over-exposure in recent years not to mention the immeasurable damage done by its association with the dreadful "very special episode" of Eurovision, Europe Shine A Light, but a great song is a great song.
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I cannot endorse posting live videos dubbed with the studio version though. If elected, I would prosecute those who persist in uploading these to YouTube to greatest possible extent.
 
Madison said:
I cannot endorse posting live videos dubbed with the studio version though. If elected, I would prosecute those who persist in uploading these to YouTube to greatest possible extent.
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I’m posting the version of the song that merits it a place in my chart. 🤷‍♂️

I wouldn’t look at the ones with music videos if I were you.
 
30. 🇩🇪 Silver Convention - Telegram (Germany 1977)
A girl group that had had a couple of international hits prior to the contest, singing a catchy song in English that was right on the Eurodisco trend. I don't think there was a Euroclub or an OGAE fan vote in 1977, but I'd imagine if there had been, this would have been a bit hit with both. I've watched the 1977 contest and it's particularly strong for the time, but this one is head and shoulders above the competition, so of course it's absolutely scandalous that this only finished 8th.
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29. 🇮🇸 Euroband - This Is My Life (Iceland 2008)
Now this is OGAE and Euroclub fodder if ever I heard it. At the time it was competing with Charlotte Perrelli and Ani Lorak, so it was very much in the B-tier when it came to loon affection, but that doesn't make this bang any less. This was a sort of Keiino-esque "supergroup" project between two previous flops, and they went all in on getting the fans on side, releasing a whole album of donked up Eurovision covers in the run-up. They only finished 14th, which seems underwhelming until you remember how some other big fan favourites landed that year...
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28. 🇸🇪 Kikki Danielsson - Bra Vibrationer (Sweden 1985) 🥉
Possibly the best Eurovision title of all time for English-speakers, this was a fantastic home entry from a Melodifestivalen legend in her prime with a song that has become an all time schlager classic. Always lovely to watch her wheeled out to sing a chorus of this in some medley every few years and to see the rapturous reception she's awarded each time. I will sometimes go entire weekends without being able to get this out of my head after listening to it once.
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27. 🇮🇱 Liora - Amen (Israel 1995)
During the much more sedate mid-90s, it's great to see Israel still throwing everything at their choreography, even when it just involves some synchronised walking around to a God ballad. This is Israel doing what they do best at Eurovision, and boy are they doing it at their best. Straight from the Hallelujah playbook with an anthemic chorus, tight harmonies, musical build and one key change too many, this is a punch in the gut every time, even if it does stray dangerously close to When A Child Is Born in places.
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26. 🇩🇪 Texas Lightning - No No Never (Germany 2006)
An earlier attempt at country music at Eurovision before the Common Linnets perfected the formula eight years later. In fairness, despite the sincerity of the lyrics and everyone involve genuinely giving their all, it does read slightly more like a parody of country music than a serious effort at it. Maybe it was this mismatch and the fact it was from Germany that contributed to its underwhelming result, but I've always found this incredibly sweet and thought it deserved much better.
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