Speculate wildly on WAYS TO SAVE KATY PERRY'S CAREER (1 Viewer)

Representing San Marino at the next Eurovision as part of a sapphic trio with Senhit and Valentina, channeling the energy (if not the horror) of Bang Bang
 
Leaking sex tape with Orlando Bloom only she’s not in it and it’s just him wanking to Teenage Dream
 
Debuting her next single on a nude paddleboarding excursion with Orlando Bloom.
 
Vacationing with Dua Lipa as her personal assistant and getting the occasional photobomb on Instagram
 
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Waking Up In Vegas with blood on her hands and revenge on her mind
 
Creating a time machine and replacing Nelson Mandela as the 7th Spice Girl (and liberatory leader of the struggle against South African apartheid)
 
Releasing a notes app apology for killing those nuns.
 
Finally recapturing the one that got away and taking brutal revenge for its presumptiveness.
 
Kissing a girl and not being especially bothered by it.
 
Covering “Baby One More Time” but rewriting the hook as “hit me baby one more time in my teenage dream”
 
Finally slaying Taylor Swift on the last night of her tour.
 

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