Suomi reviews Eurovision 2024 (1 Viewer)

Suomi

Suomi

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Jun 16, 2004
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On Thursday I was sitting in a Mcdonalds in Clapham when @Pingu and @GNL forced me against my will to sit with them in some dive bar and watch all of this year's entries. For personal reasons, I'm not feeling super united by music or Eurovisiony this year, so this was my first listen to many of these songs.
 
SEMI FINAL 1

1. Cyprus - Liar

Great video and fun - Mandy Moore - Candy energy in that it exists only for gay people and teenagers.

85/100
 
2. Serbia - Ramonda

Really good - maybe too good for this medium in that it needs sustained concentration

93/100
 
3. Lithuania - Luktelk

My straight girl friend didn't understand this and gave it 10/100, which I suspect is confirmation that it only really appeals to gay people who like being upset in clubs, and Lithuanians. Probably their best entry ever.

95/100
 
4. Ireland - Doomsday Blue

I had seen the televised performance, but never the video, and what a fantastic video it is. Video-wise, it reminds me a bit of early 90s goodness Tasmin Archer - Sleeping Satellite and Celine Dion - Pour Que Tu... in that it's some lass in her bedroom having a lot of new age feelings. The song is ambitious, interesting and could only ever come from the performer themselves. We need to bottle whatever this is and make sure Ireland keep at it.

99/100
 
5. Ukraine - Teresa and Maria

I thought the Ukranian selection was so strong this year, but this could only ever be the winner. Sad with a tinge of optimism is what makes Lolly - Viva La Radio so great, and this I would file in the same category. I personally enjoy a breakaway rap, but I do wonder if that goes on too long and that the adlibs at the end by the lead protagonist are slightly too comedic in parts, taking us out of what I am sure is a very heartfelt plea for Teresa May and Maria Sur to do a single together.

85/100
 
6. Poland - The Tower

Ding ding ding - this is everything. A fantastic pop song with a great accompanying video by a woman who doesn't look bothered either way. This has a sort of wisdom to it that it wouldn't sound out of place on an ABBA album. My straight girl friend gave it 90/100 and won the semi for her so I wonder if this will be a surprise HIT

100/100
 
7. Croatia - Rim Tim Tagi Dim

Fun video and a Linkin' Park song about having a nervous breakdown? SOLID

82/100
 
10. Finland - No Rules

A welcome relief after the two before. Obviously I know this as Finland's national selection was one of the best in Europe, and I am all for everything it stands for.

80/100
 
11. Moldova - In the Middle

It's got the feeling of Natalie having completed an online course in songwriting and staging. Not the worst by any of the criteria, but I think this will come last just because it appeals to nobody.

8/100
 
12. Azerbiajan - Ozunla Apar

Think I went to the toilet for this one. From what I heard it sounded very directionless

3/100
 
13. Australia - One Miikali

Love this - it exists in its own space and feels very pure in its intentions to spread joy and be a force for good. A dreamlike quality and I would love to escape to the Fleetwood Mac and the Janets with these two.

90/100
 
14. Portugal - Gritto

As always with Portugal, I really wanted to like this and I appreciate the alternate energy they bring to the contest. But I got lost halfway and sadly I think this is just boring.

20/100
 
SEMI FINAL 2

I will just preface this with a disclaimer that this was one of the nosiest collection of songs I've ever heard in Eurovision. I might not even watch this semi-final as so much of it was unpleasantly LOUD (NB: i will absolutely be watching)
 
1. Malta - Loop

Love this - real music at LAST - a very powerful pop song that is fittingly punchy for a global audience. I can only presume that with it opening the show the live performance is as competent as the recorded music video version.

92/100
 
2. Albania - Titan

This has a donk in the last 20 seconds that I was very excited by. Will they ever top 2004's "Image of You"? "Carry Me In Your Dreams" came close but didn't have the accidental genius of of 2004. The fact that I'm talking about past glories is never a good sign.

15/100? Who cares though?
 
3. Greece - Zazi

This year's "It's both 100 and 0 at the same time" Very obnoxious and fun video that makes me want to go to Greece and just sort of hang around doing nothing and everything at the same time. In a televote only era this would probably threaten for the win, but sadly there are too many juror bores out there who expect both a melody AND a chorus in the songs. Grow up, I say!

0 and 100/100
 
4. Switzerland - The Code

All I'm going to say about this entire entry is that it's very:

[imagine me at a house party in Bern with a load of art students and wanting to die. Nemo approaches]

"So my dad said to me - here's a blank cheque. If you can get a number 1 single then you don't have to pay me back, but if you can't then you have to do that internship at Suisse Credit. And I was just like, omg dad :D It's so weird because when you have learnt to play the violin, drums and piano from the age of three and you finally get into a recording studio you're like arrghh which instrument do I use first? And then I realised - Nemo - it's your voice that you want to express your art with! I don't know if you've ever heard of a singer called Eric Clapton but he was my fir-"

40/100 and that is GENEROUS.
 
5. Czechia - Pedestal

Not at all my GENRE, but this is catchy and well-realised. In this landscape, it sticks out and maybe it could surprise.

78/100
 
6. Austria - We Will Rave

Oh thank god. This is very much in my DNA musically and is a song that I know will stay with me forever. Originally offered to both Kiana and Maria Sur, thank GOODNESS they said no so it could actually appear at Eurovision.

STRAIGHT FEMALE FRIEND gave it 100.

Suomi gives it 100/100

PS: please do not come in and tell me she can't sing or dance - THAT'S THE POINT, YOLANDA
 
7. Denmark - Sand

HerSereneHighness told me this was his favourite a few weeks ago. I have just played it for him again to ask him why, and he has denied ever expressing the original opinion and left the room.

And as he is perhaps the only Melanie Wehbe fan I know, this speaks volumes for what a sorry state of affairs this is.

25/100 ?
 
Suomi said:
3. Lithuania - Luktelk

My straight girl friend didn't understand this and gave it 10/100, which I suspect is confirmation that it only really appeals to gay people who like being upset in clubs, and Lithuanians. Probably their best entry ever.

95/100
Click to expand...
YAS!
 
Suomi said:
6. Poland - The Tower

Ding ding ding - this is everything. A fantastic pop song with a great accompanying video by a woman who doesn't look bothered either way. This has a sort of wisdom to it that it wouldn't sound out of place on an ABBA album. My straight girl friend gave it 90/100 and won the semi for her so I wonder if this will be a surprise HIT

100/100
Click to expand...
:disco:

Straight girlfriend forgiven for her deafness to Luktelk.
 
8. Armenia - Jako

Armenia are low-key one of the best players in this game, and I appreciate the effort and energy they bring, but for me this was just a woman running around? For me, it's a no but I definitely would be interested in future applications.

35/100
 
Suomi said:
8. Armenia - Jako

Armenia are low-key one of the best players in this game, and I appreciate the effort and energy they bring, but for me this was just a woman running around? For me, it's a no but I definitely would be interested in future applications.

35/100
Click to expand...
‘arsh!
 
9. Latvia - Hollow

I think this song is quite beautiful and an audio RESPITE after having been through so much already. I like the intention of this and think Latvia were underrated last year as well. I wonder about the potential of this being an Arcade being it is a quality production, but for those of us that know our cults, there's just something a little Heaven's Gate about the whole thing for me to be truly comfortable (look it up)

80/100
 
10. San Marino - 11:11

Never a bad time to talk about how much I hate Gwen Stefani - and this is What You Waiting For? being given some sort of terrible Winamp remix. This is probably the worst overall song in the competition - my friend gave it minus 1,000 and I think that's FAIR.

0/100
 
11. Georgia - Firefighter

More noise, my god. I think had this opened the semi I'd be more generous but I just can't take it anymore

30/100
 
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