The Great British Christmas Shortages of 2021

ZenGiraffe

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Let's hop on this train sleigh early.

It looks like Christmas in England, Scotland, and Wales is going to be a shit show (I wonder why) with reports of Turkey, Pigs in blankets and GAMMON shortages!

Is anyone thinking ahead yet? I was thinking of making Christmas dinner and having my parents round to mine and COBs, and I have been eyeing up getting a Turkey now and whacking it in the freezer. Is this a complete overreaction at this point?

 
Give a fuck about dry old Turkey but OMG NOT THE PIGS IN BLANKETS! :(:(:(
Kerry Katona is manning the Iceland tills and ready for your business.

It is ridiculous and it is quite sad seeing domestic businesses, prepared for Christmas, which are going to be unable to get their goods to stores because of this logistical (let's face it) catastrophe.

It doesn't mean there isn't an argument for a less consumerist Christmas, but that's an entirely different discussion (and shouldn't be used as shield).
 
COVID dependant I think we’re having all the family over so we’re fucked :D

FROZEN THREE CHEESE PIZZA ANYONE?
 
Here for this ERSATZ CHRISTMAS

Bernard Matthews turkey ham and any old tinned vegetables.
 
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I shall let my Leave-voting mother worry about it and I look forward to her SIMPLY NOT MENTIONING whatever difficulty she has to me because she knows I will say TOLD YOU SO!

Since she lives in Norfolk though I imagine they are better placed than most for turkeys
 
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As long as my nut roasts are BOUNTIFUL I couldn’t give a shit.
 
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Time for a vegetarian or vegan Christmas, folks.

We saw how quickly things degenerated over fuel, are we going to have TURKEY MURDERS in the aisles in Asda this year?
 
What if we run out of a LAGER? The gammons will be absolutely wild.
 
I don't believe it, our beloved leader will SAVE XMAS AGAIN
Yes, it feels to me like this is the usual suspects creating hysteria for the purpose of setting him up as the hero to rescue us.
 
So long as we have SHERRY I will be fine
Top tip - Lidl's Tio Nico is only £5.29, in store now, and has won quite a few awards.

Traditionally I usually go Harvey's while making Christmas Dinner, but I won't be too upset if I have a couple of bottles of Tio Nico in.
 
Our dear leader will personally arrange a free Christmas HAMPER* for everyone in the country.

* a toppy carrot and a bag of turkey shavings
Not to mention how generous he is to allow 4,000 HGV drivers from the EU to come and work and SAVE OUR CHRISTMAS before kicking them all out on CHRISTMAS EVE!!
 
I really couldn’t give a DAMN to be honest. As long as I have my loved ones all together at mine this year I will be ELATED. I am sure we will have SOMETHING to serve up. Who cares if it’s Turkey, gammon or TOAST. We won’t starve.
 
Not to mention how generous he is to allow 4,000 HGV drivers from the EU to come and work and SAVE OUR CHRISTMAS before kicking them all out on CHRISTMAS EVE!!

Oh, that might be my favourite so far.

SAVE OUR CHRISTMAS but don't you DARE have any ideas about sharing it with us, just fuck off as soon as you're done.
 
We really will slip into the world of Adam Curtis' hypernormalisation if the TV and adverts are showing us a normal Christmas, with supermarkets advertising a LUSCIOUS SPREAD IN STORE NOW...whilst in reality we have delicious ROASTED ROCKS with a side of MUD to eat :disco:
 
We really will slip into the world of Adam Curtis' hypernormalisation if the TV and adverts are showing us a normal Christmas, with supermarkets advertising a LUSCIOUS SPREAD IN STORE NOW...whilst in reality we have delicious ROASTED ROCKS with a side of MUD to eat :disco:

:D

Have your best Christmas ever....

...come to GERMANY



Thomas Cook - we know an opportunity when we see one
 
Nothing more satisfying than being able to scream I TOLD YOU SO at the Brexit ghouls :disco:

None of whom will listen - they are contorting themselves into pretzel-like logistical leaps to try and avoid the obvious truth of the matter. It could get properly scary - some of those petrol fights were pretty hairy, people pulling knives and everything.
 
For anyone who doesn’t follow a form of Christianity, Christmas Day really is just a day with a family meal and a few presents. It’s a nice time to wind down at the end of the year and take a few days off if you can. Or it’s a miserable time for anyone who can’t spend it with people they love and they make do with what they can.

Who really cares exactly what food is served?
 
I’d be more worried about toy shortages for kids than food. In any case, there’s no harm in buying them now. (And it feels good to get my nephew and niece’s presents out the way early for once).
 
Fuck this, I'm off to Lidl, and if they have a three ungulate roast in the freezer section, I'm not leaving without it.
 
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