The Property Porn Thread

It's like Selling Sunset in reverse, with Zu as president and founder and Kate and Lucille hapless agents
 

I was trying to find the grim house I stayed in last year but have come across THIS which has pictures presumably of the landlord scattered throughout as well as a picture of a random kitchen design and the caption “I’m putting in a new kitchen, I hope it’ll be coming close to this feeling and bright finish” :disco:
 
Pending that lottery jackpot win

I cycled down Wimbledon Park Side for the first time ever this week. I've seen POSH HOUSES in London before but that whole area takes the fucking biscuit. RIDICULOUS!
 
I'm DESPERATE to own this house...except it's been built in the middle of nowhere (well WARWICKSHIRE), and a quick google maps look up reveals it's basically been built as part of CUL DE SAC with neighbours on either side :D / :zombie: 2.5 million to live on BROOKSIDE? NO THANKS!

https://www.themodernhouse.com/sales-list/ghost-house/

It would probably also be an absolute disaster when it rains also :D
 
I'm DESPERATE to own this house...except it's been built in the middle of nowhere (well WARWICKSHIRE), and a quick google maps look up reveals it's basically been built as part of CUL DE SAC with neighbours on either side :D / :zombie: 2.5 million to live on BROOKSIDE? NO THANKS!

https://www.themodernhouse.com/sales-list/ghost-house/

It would probably also be an absolute disaster when it rains also :D
919AEEAB-D058-43C0-9028-4C725AF3F750.jpeg

Comes with a free JD Sports store :disco:
 
View attachment 4246
Comes with a free JD Sports store :disco:
I once ended up back at the flat of the second or third highest paid civil servant in Britain (unsure as he only mentioned it THREE or FOUR times in our BRIEF ENCOUNTER) and his shoe wardrobe was exactly like that. Only all shoes were THE SAME*

EAT THE RICH!

*Obviously not the same but essentially 100 variations of the same HUE of black-brown
 
I used to be friends with a girl who had a flat in the Barbican but came to realise that was her only POSITIVE ATTRIBUTE and I couldn’t STAND HER OTHERWISE!
Oh I'd just stay friends with her to go to the flat in the Barbican. I'd also put up with all manner of tedium to have a snout around Balfron Tower, noted sultry gem of the East :disco:
 
I once ended up back at the flat of the second or third highest paid civil servant in Britain (unsure as he only mentioned it THREE or FOUR times in our BRIEF ENCOUNTER) and his shoe wardrobe was exactly like that. Only all shoes were THE SAME*

EAT THE RICH!

*Obviously not the same but essentially 100 variations of the same HUE of black-brown

Some guy I know is always saying how he hopes to be rich enough one day to buy a new pair of socks for every day because he likes the feel of FRESH SOCKS.

I mean, the planet's burning but TREAT YER FEET.
 
Also socks are like, £4 a pair? Who couldn’t afford to do that if they wanted to already :D!?
 
Of course LBC's ray of sunshine STEVE ALLEN infamously wears socks only the once before throwing them in the bin and slipping on a FRESH NEW PAIR
 
I watched Gemma Collins’ MTV Cribs and she does the same with knickers. Her house looks like a renovated paddock painted pink.
 
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What’s the name of that awful horizontal line of wallpaper at the top of the walls (as seen in various pictures there)? I’m sure it’s called something but obviously I am far too sophisticated to have ever asked for it :)
 
I really want this loft (as featured on Queer Eye I'm pretty sure)

 
I really want this loft (as featured on Queer Eye I'm pretty sure)


Bitch its kyoooot. :disco:
 
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