What is the worst Eurovision / National Final song you've ever heard?

*watches the choices for the next National Finals viewing party ebbing away*
 
The temptation is to say something like “Dancing In Heaven (Orbital Be-Bop)”:


But the title alone means it clearly doesn’t qualify.

The answer really has to be something devoid of all value whatsoever like “Going To The Movies”:
 
@ButterTart reminded me of how awful Michelle Gayle’s U Got Me is - I’m sorry but how is this a song, it’s like a collection twenty-five ideas thrown into a blender



Py Bäckman - Magisk Stjärna is one of the most self-indulgent pieces of garbage I’ve heard at Melodifestivalen. What a front!


Kwanzaa - Lovin’ Your Feen - I actually do quite like this :D but thought it was worth mentioning because of its legendary ‘worst ever’ status


I love Magisk Stjärna and Lovin’ Your Feen. :evil:

And ABW’s Clubbin’ before anyone posts that too.
 
Double Date - An Email to Berlin , from Dutch national final 1999.

I am kind of obsessed with turn of the century pop about technology, and combined with zero vocal talent but 100% enthusiasm, you get this masterpiece. LOVE the women in the audience at the end who refuse to clap :D



I've never noticed those women before. Amazing :D

This was one of the two favourites (with Marlayne) TO WIN pre-show. :D

Probably because it was written by Flamman & Abraxas, the men behind Party Animals.

 
The temptation is to say something like “Dancing In Heaven (Orbital Be-Bop)”:


But the title alone means it clearly doesn’t qualify.

The answer really has to be something devoid of all value whatsoever like “Going To The Movies”:


Oddly, Dancing In Heaven (Orbital Be-Bop) features in the latest series of Sex Education.

And Netflix have released a cover version to iTunes:

 
These two. The first is the most flaccid pop song I've ever heard, performed by someone who had his larynx removed at birth and just never realised. The second is somehow both turgid AND irritating to the point of distraction, and is a masterclass in how not to present a song.

Obviously, That Sounds Good to Me, Suus and Telemoveis are the absolute nadir of Eurovision and music in general, but I refuse to dignify those shit-smeared heaps of CUNT with a stream so I won't be posting links.


Yet another one whose heart and mind have been poisoned as a result of being jealous of Milan’s lovely belt :(

ENGAGEMENT’S OFF SLAG
 
But it would take a lot for a modern day entry to beat the horror that is MAID - Freaks . This song was one of the 3 choices for the U.K. in 2019 because someone at the BBC really pushed for it to be included.


Yes albeit conversely the Jordan Clarke version was much better, blew up on Tik Tok, and probably would have done a good deal better than ‘Bigger than Us’ in Tel Aviv.
 
The winner of our 88 national selection.




I remember watching this live and after the presentation of all songs, the jury that was meant to decide the winner made a statement saying that it is with sadness they have come to the conclusion that none of the songs was good and that the overall level of artistic quality presented was really low and that if it was on them to decide whether to cancel the participation they would have cancelled it to allow composers more time to come up with something worth listening to and that since it's not on them they have no other option than to award as a winner the least bad composition, which for them was this. :D
 
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Behold - our rock bottom in ESC. I was there in the audience that very night. When it was clear that Platin had won, the booing pretty much reached “Tolmachevy in Copenhagen” levels and I legit wanted us to withdraw. Now, I love my cheesy duets (I have Sweden 2003 and Denmark 2010 as my winners of their years), but this is just ghastly, there’s the bit when he proposes to her, which is cheap af, and not to mention that there were rigging allegations doing rounds as soon as that EMA final was over. And yes, there’s “NAJ BOOOOO” skeleton in our closet as well, but at least a rather big part of the public listens to that kind of music unlike this clusterfuck of an entry that we brought up to Turkey. They ended up marrying in Istanbul, but as it was after the semi, nobody cared.

 

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