What are your ULTIMATE BOOTS of Eurovision 2025?

It's not the worst of the year for me - that's the truly rancid Poison Cake - but it might be the one I have the most disdain for, along with Kiss Kiss Goodbye.
 
Portugal is just dull, it's not actively hateful in the way this and Poison Cake are.
 
It's not the worst of the year for me - that's the truly rancid Poison Cake - but it might be the one I have the most disdain for, along with Kiss Kiss Goodbye.
Poison Cake is comfortably in the bottom half of my rankings, but I have to say I'm finding it a bit of a headscratcher exactly what it is about it that is so widely detested across the board. It seems to be fairly common consensus that it's the worst of the lot this year and I'm not entirely sure why.

The Milkshake Man ire on the other hand seems entirely confined to Moopy.
 
The major key 'yummy yummy' bit of Poison Cake is toecurlingly infantile and pretty much blows up the entirety of the rest of the song instantly.
 
In terms of the absolute boots of the year, I find Estonia more actively objectionable than this, though I concede both are earworms.

Croatia, Georgia and Serbia probably the most unreservedly poor entries of 2025. I also find Armenia terribly loud and unpleasant on the ear, especially live.

Portugal is perfectly nice for what it is.
 
Serbia's not that bad - it's just a run of the mill BBB. I'd put it in the 'perfectly nice for what it is' category.
 
I suppose Croatia are being graded on a slight curve because of what they managed to pull off last year, but even shorn of context Poison Cake is just baffling bad to me. I don't understand how it won at all.

I do feel a bit sorry for him. He's only 21 and is already facing significant backlash, much of it homophobic. It's only going to get worse if/when he faceplants in the semi.
 
Poison Cake and Marko himself both have the energy of someone who identifies with the brat subkink.
 
For what it’s worth, the bottom 5 on the Esc scoreboard community rankings are:

33. United Kingdom :bruised:
34. Croatia
35. Slovenia
36. Serbia
37. Georgia

Australia are in 16th place.
 
As far as Balkan ballads are concerned, I find Serbia to be considerably stronger than Montenegro, and can't help but feel it's getting criticised much more because a) it beat much stronger competition in the national final and b) man.
 
I mean who on earth is going to pick up the phone for Croatia? (bar Slovenia)
 
The fact they had the sultriest gem and it didn’t even come close to winning. The lack of taste in that country is offensive to me.

 
I can only assume there are some nasty 50-somethings out there tugging themselves senseless all the way through the Poison Cake performance in their NAPPIES.
 
The ones I do find obectionable this year:

Armenia - just too ABRASIVE throughout with no redeeming features (aside from the singer)
Slovenia - possibly one of the worst songs ever written, and the potential for this to accidentally end up top ten or something is infuriating
Portugal - dull beyond belief
Lithuania and Latvia - yes, points for being different but they're both migraine-inducing
 
The major key 'yummy yummy' bit of Poison Cake is toecurlingly infantile and pretty much blows up the entirety of the rest of the song instantly.
Yep. That bit is so awful/laughable, even JESC would be ashamed these days!

I've not understood any hate for Serbia, it's a decent enough Balkan ballad to my ears, I've just assumed that he was problematic perhaps and people are basing on that? (nice c*ck though)
 
Also JUSTICE FOR LATVIA. It makes me want to sew VoR inside a goat!! Very Proto Indo European Timoteij :disco:
 
Oh that Lithuanian song is the most pointless thing ever. I hope the diaspora don’t show up. Latvia is GOOD :evil: It’s a Baltic Eaea :disco:
 
Yeah I love Latvia, it’s so pretty!

Slovenia probably should be in my bottom 5, but I can’t help rooting for them a tiny bit even when they’re serving literal dirge.
 
I've maybe been a bit harsh lumping Latvia in with Lithuania, especially as only one of them makes me think of Michael Fabricant while it's on, which isn't really what I want from a Eurovision entry.
 
I didn't start this thread - @VoR trying to frame me YET AGAIN as some sort of naysayer.
 
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Well I genuinely love Australia, Slovenia, Latvia and Lithuania :D

I don't despise Croatia.

The only unredeemable entry to my ears (and to my eyes given its staging) is Estonia.
Armenia seemingly had to deal with dreadful technical conditions in its NF but I doubt I would let it escape the very bottom of my ranking anyways.
As some said above, I find Serbia and Portugal to be quite boring although not horrible per se.
Completing my bottom 5 is Czechia and I have no idea how this song goes, nor am I willing to listen to it again to find out.
 
I have only listened to each song between 1-2 times, and so I am not at the stage of assimilation where the songs all tend to start sounding pretty good.

I am therefore one of the only posters of sound mind. And with sound mind I can tell you that Slovenia is great and certainly in the top 10 this year.

There are so many songs that just completely wash over under the banner of being silly.
 

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