Legs and Co DEAD in CHAMOIS THONG FACTORY EXPLOSION

Absolute FILTH. Conversations about ladies undergarments and BACK PASSAGES.

It's PAEDOPHILE ENABLING and it HAS TO STOP.
 
King Charles III SENTENCED TO DEATH for Venus De Milo thongsnatching at The Hague in wake of REVELATIONS that he was BREASTFED UNTIL AGE 12
 
Thong wearing Bernard Matthews turkey's launch The Dancing Turkey Revue, performing at an Arts Centre NEAR YOU.
 
NAR : Yoko Ono records new album using a used mustard packet and a thong made of cat hair
 
OT (ON TOPIC): I think we need to talk about the SIZE DIFFERENTIALS of our CELBRITY EMOJIS
 
OT (ON TOPIC): I think we need to talk about the SIZE DIFFERENTIALS of our CELBRITY EMOJIS
SInce my ascension new ones have been broadly standardised to 75 pixels high. I could absolutely go back and redo old ones to match as well but it is EFFORT
 
:moira:: Dale Winton ENCASED in CHAMOIS SARCOPHAGUS for PUBLIC SAFETY following FORTNIGHT-LONG CHAMOIS THONG ORGY CALLUSED RECTUM REVELATIONS
 
NAR: Chamois bethonged Cindy Crawford caught in public SNACKING on new DIET POO
 
Papers now reporting Agnetha Fältskog in STEAMY all-night lutefisk and chamois thong session to RAISE AWARNESS for CHARITY. Lutefisk and chamois thong stocks ROCKETING
 
Swedish stars come out to record Thong Song in aid of "Thongs For Africa". The b-side is set to be "Thong Hot Summer".

Names include, September, Icona Pop, Eric Saade, Agnes, First Aid Kit, Europe, Rednex, Anna Book, Tove Lo, Lynn from Ace of Base, A*Teens and Neneh Cherry.

3 dead.
 
Gang of thong wearing terrorists kidnap Baroness Theresa May.

She was last seen wearing ONLY A THONG, alone and crying in a former branch of BHS.

11 dead from consumption.
 
Thong-wearing throngs sing songs and play ping pong while smoking bongs in Hong Kong

- No exploding factories reported (sad)
 
STOCK MARKETS REBOUND on RUMOUR that CHAMOIS THONGS will be EXEMPT FROM TARIFFS
 
Canada announces plans to devote all manufacturing facilities to the production of chamois thongs, and celebrates by EXHUMING Leslie Nielsen and sticking his corpse in a thong for emergency promotional appearances
 
Thongs worn by the Cheeky Girls and Lembit Opik sold at auction for £12.99 to a very horny Magda Szubanski (derogatory).
 
NAR: BBC to debut THONGS OF PRAISE on Sunday morning, hosted by THE RIGHT REVEREND RUSTIE LEE
 
Stock markets in THONG FREEFALL following DISASTROUS debut of THONGS OF PRAISE, after an hour long premiere featuring MULTIPLE THONGS THAT WENT UNPRAISED (the Archbishop of Björk could not be reached for comment)
 
Wall Street Bankers have been taking one last hefty sniff of their chamois thongs before jumping to their deaths :(
 
Sade comes to the rescue, with a unifying set of her soulful, mellow and melodic hits televised worldwide, that brings nations together, saves economies and stops war forever.

Rewritten hits include 'Your Thong is King', 'Thong Operator', 'No Ordinary Thong'.

SEVEN BILLION SAVED.
 
CHAMOIS THONG LTD ceases trading after losing class action law suit with ZG INDUSTRIES. Rumours it will reopen as the Inner Smile BANTER FACTORY remain unconfirmed.

More business news at 6.
 
Natasha Kaplinsky TOURING THE SMOULDERING REMAINS of the CHAMOIS HUSK to interview REMAINING SURVIVORS on their VIEWS of the ANTICIPATED LOFT CONVERSION
 
Parliament has been recalled to debate the DEEPENING political crisis after the Minister of Chamois Baroness Des'ree's only comment on the catastrophic SHANTER CLOSURE was "Did you know that thong rhymes with MONG, JUNE SARPONG and the EVENING NEWS?"
 
Donald Trump proclaims “America makes the BEST thongs. Only PREMIUM thongs unlike CHYNUH!” Make America Thongs Again
 
:moira:: SHOCK and HORROR and THUNDER and LIGHTNING as KING CHARLES III sentenced to DEATH by THONG GARROTTING by International Criminal Court at THE HAGUE following GUILTY VERDICT IN VENUS DE MILO THONGSNATCHING CASE. The ham-handed chanteuse blew kisses to his ADMIRERS as he was led from the dock, and will be executed on national television and pay per view over the WEEKEND
 
Rate my Minge competition postponed after contestant slips on un-chamoised catwalk.
 
The White Lotus season 4 will set the story at a CHAMOIS THONG FACTORY ran by Jojo Siwa and the ghost of Cilla Black played by Jennifer Coolidge’s stunt double, Pat.
 

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