Moopyvision 2010-2019 Round 9: Australia, Cyprus & Lithuania (2 Viewers)

[Suomi]

She from Fusedmarc was a rotten cunt.

What did she do?

 

[VoR]

8th: Evelina Sašenko - C'est ma vie (72pts)

Look, I just thought she had a nice voice, alright?

That and you've just gotta love the irony in making the effort to sign out your lyrics when they're completely indecipherable to the working human ear anyway. I imagine Evelina went on to win rave reviews for her Fantine in a Vilnius-based production of Les Miserables. I can think of nothing more to say, and this was my favourite. Jesus Christ...

2 x 12 (VoR, Raining on Me)
2 x 0 (David_5000, Kevin7)

 

[Dark Carnival]

I'm here loves!

 

[Dark Carnival]

I honestly can barely remember how any of these three entries go.

 

[Penelope]

at C'est ma vie coming eighth

at my last NOT

 

[ButterTart]

Honestly, is there a more hateful genre in all of music than SKA? I'll try most things, but it always just shrieks of smug heterosexuality and aggressively forced jollity.

The most accurate thing I've ever read.

 

[Alla]

Evelina was one of the only 2 acts that didn't speak a word of English, and she couldn't care less.

The other? Yes, the Spanish one

 

[VoR]

7th: Donny Montell - Love Is Blind (92pts)

Montell pre homosexual glow up, and famously the entry that had a young @Chlammy's loins 'a burnin' back in 2012.

In fairness this is quite SPIRITED I guess, although it takes its sweet time before anything actually happens. I'd forgotten just how alarming Donny's mid-song hip thrusting actually was. I wonder how they actually got him onstage in the first place? They should've had some giant solemnly deposit him onto his mark like the Ukrainian lady that one time.

He had better to come, but this was a likeable slab of filler in a strong year.

1 x 12 (Penelope)
2 x 0 (Buttertart, SDF)

 

[Penelope]

BOOOOOOO!

There was something pleasingly understated and actually quite CLASSY about the whole affair. HOW OFTEN does someone DON THE DISCO BLINDFOLD?

 

[Penelope]

Donny appears to now be a judge on Lithuania's version of The Voice, and, uh, FELIX SANDMAN

 

[Alla]

That was in my top 3, and my 0 still to come. What are you all voting?

 

[win_the_game]

That was my 2nd favourite. I thought that would do a lot better.

 

[Penelope]

I guess either OTHER Don or that Vaidas nonsense is gonna win

 

[Alla]

The other Don surely is going to be up there.

 

[VoR]

6th: Vilija Matačiūnaitė - Attention (94pts)

ATTEN-SHUUUN!

God I struggle with this one. The backing track's decent enough in a 2003 Sugababes album track sort of way, but what a thoroughly unpleasant hook, crammed into a horribly frantic and garbled verse/chorus structure.

From what I can discern through all the RACKET, I think Vilja is warning a potential suitor to slow down and ease off, to which I say PEOPLE IN GLASS HOUSES LUV. Frankly I'd leave her at the bar even if she wasn't kitted out like an S&M Darcey Bussell. She seems EXHAUSTING.

1 x 12 (Win The Game)
2 x 0 (Alla, Penelope)

 

[Alla]

Finally, this was the worst of all of them, which is quite something.

 

[Alla]

Obviously it has the 12 of @Win_the_game

 

[Penelope]

Attention is one of the worst songs ever entered into the Eurovision Song Contest. Horrid bridge, horrid hook, horrid performance.

 

[Penelope]

I mean for HEAVENS SAKE I couldn't even give Rains of Revolution or Eastern European Funk a 0!

 

[win_the_game]

I ADORE Attention you pair of utter cunts.

 

[dmlaw]

Attention was deeply unpleasant. It could only happen just after 50 Shades Of Grey brought bondage into the mainstream for a little while.

 

[VoR]

5th: Jurij Veklenko - Run With The Lions (112pts)

Is this one real? I mean, did it actually happen, or did the Lithuanian delegates just put some plausible sounding words down on the submission form last year and bank on nobody noticing they hadn't actually bothered to turn up?

Bafflingly, this actually came within a whisper of qualifying, and scored 12 points from the UK televote. I know we have a lot of Lithuanians living in the UK, but I'm starting to wonder if they're a nationality or just some kind of perverse cult. If the illuminati did Eurovision, I can well imagine they'd field something as soporific as this to make the subliminal messaging go down easier. Please donate generously.

1 x 12 (wurst)
1 x 0 (Raining on Me)

 

[AGinAg (38)]

This is a rough selection for a Wednesday.

 

[Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

Lion man was FIT tho

 

[Dark Carnival]

WHAT?! How can deny that HOTNESS?

 

[Penelope]

GOODNESS if Jurij (also THE REAL VOICE BEHIND Get Frighten, DON'TCHA KNOW) isn't PRETTY

 

[Penelope]

Couldn't tell you the first thing about the song of course.

 

[VoR]

4th: Andrius Pojavis - Something (117pts)

Oh, I've come to find this one quite ENDEARING really. Obviously Andrius is quite easy to look at, but it's also got a sort of woozy quality, akin to a likeable drunk slurring semi-coherent nonsense at you before falling off his stool and insisting he's fine to walk home.

I will forever love his grumpy reaction to finishing 20th too, particularly the reveal of his tragically middling pre-Contest dreams of making it all the way to 8th place. Bless.

3 x 12 (Kevin, Ag, Ill Advised)
4 x 1 (Pingu, sewerynsven, Kalabaliken, Dark Carnival)

 

[Penelope]

The years haven't been kind to Andrius.

 

[Alla]

Am I the only one that already forgot most (all) of these songs?

 

[Kevin]

4th: Andrius Pojavis - Something (117pts)

Oh, I've come to find this one quite ENDEARING really. Obviously Andrius is quite easy to look at, but it's also got a sort of woozy quality, akin to a likeable drunk slurring semi-coherent nonsense at you before falling off his stool and insisting he's fine to walk home.

I will forever love his grumpy reaction to finishing 20th too, particularly the reveal of his tragically middling pre-Contest dreams of making it all the way to 8th place. Bless.

3 x 12 (Kevin, Ag, Ill Advised)
4 x 1 (Pingu, sewerynsven, Kalabaliken, Dark Carnival)

It sounds a bit like The Killers to me.

 

[Penelope]

I don't mind Something as it goes - it's nice enough in a sub-Killers way, and at his big ambition being to come EIGHTH. We do love someone with some REALISM to their wildest dreams

He is also the only Eurovision contestant I've met in the wild. He moved to Lincoln after and I came across him WHILE CANVASSING. He was too busy to talk

 

[dmlaw]

It does have a strong Killers/Editors sort of vibe. I like it a lot and it would be even better if the lyrics weren't so bad.

 

[AGinAg (38)]

The years haven't been kind to Andrius.

Other pictures tell another story. I would in an instant.

 

[win_the_game]

There goes Pen and her SELECTIVE Instagram picks again...

 

[Penelope]

He looks halfway to Graham Linehan.

 

[AGinAg (38)]

He looks halfway to Graham Linehan.

As I say the other pics are MORE THAN FINE. As if you and fussy have ever been in same POST CODE.

 

[Penelope]

FAIR

 

[VoR]

3rd: Ieva Zasimauskaitė - When We're Old (143pts)

A passable slice of Ellie Goulding-esque balladry that feels like it might have actually qualified on merit and not just because there's pockets of weirdly motivated Lithuanian Eurovision obsessives operating in every city in Europe. SEND 'EM BACK!

Anyway, it walks that very delicate tightrope between emotive and emetic, I'll leave the decision on where it lands down to the individual. She's already split from the husband, which makes the performance a bit tragic to watch back. Hold onto your dignity love, he was clearly getting a blowie from Lea Sirk underneath that bridge just moments beforehand, the rotter.

4 x 12 (dmlaw, Dark Carnival, Buttertart, Alla)
1 x 0 (Ill Advised)

 

[Penelope]

She was MARRIED TO A SPANIEL?!