The Brits 2021

[KNT]

If its not Dula Peep we riot.

 

[funky]

JESSIE WAS ROBBED

but as if Dua wasn’t going to win

 

[Rita]

It’s a shame as this all feels rather REDUNDANT doesn’t it? It used to be such an EVENT.

 

[Ellie]

It’s a shame as this all feels rather REDUNDANT doesn’t it? It used to be such an EVENT.

Bring back the superstar duets.

 

[KNT]

Bring back the superstar duets.

CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

 

[Ellie]

CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

Oh!

 

[Rita]

Is Elton not ROPEY these days?

 

[Ellie]

Someone GAG Elton

 

[Rita]

Is Elton not ROPEY these days?

YES!

 

[Ellie]

Was Neil Tennant not available?

 

[win_the_game]

Is Elton not ROPEY these days?

He’s been ropey nigh on the last 20 years.

 

[Rita]

He’s been ropey nigh on the last 20 years.

Why does he not RETIRE? He was so bloody good.

 

[funky]

This show is really going to piss off our Boris-voting Fail-reading viewers isn’t it

“I wanted 2 watch Coldplay and all I got was aids talk and men in dresses!” said Norman, 47

 

[Ellie]

Just undoing all the great work Rocketman did for his legacy. Still, not quite as poor as I’m Still Standing last year.

 

[big ron]

It’s a shame as this all feels rather REDUNDANT doesn’t it? It used to be such an EVENT.

It was better when everyone was coked up and acting like cunts. Pop is far too sterile now.

 

[Rita]

Someone having his RANGE once upon a time needing to hit a mediocre note with a group of backing singers is just DEGRADING.

 

[big ron]

Just undoing all the great work Rocketman did for his legacy. Still, not quite as poor as I’m Still Standing last year.

You mean I'm dill dandin?

 

[rhythmba-la-la-la-la]

The stage is very Eurovision.

 

[KNT]

The stage is very Eurovision.

There's been some QUITE GOOD SETS tonight, I have to say.

 

[Rita]

You mean I'm dill dandin?

JESUS MARY and JOSEPH

 

[Ellie]

I’m still FURIOUS that they’re giving Taylor fucking Swift an “Icon” award over our Kylie

 

[KNT]

Remember the kadaver from I Know What You Did Last Summer? This is him now.

 

[Ellie]

Quite like this from The Weeknd, but what is the point of recording this dressed in a raincoat in an empty room?

 

[rhythmba-la-la-la-la]

Surprise appearance from Ariana?

 

[win_the_game]

They may as well have shown the music video.

 

[Ellie]

That made NO sense to record that video. It wasn’t even live.

 

[KNT]

You've given away who it is Michelle

 

[Ellie]

You've given away who it is Michelle

Unsure what his charitable donations have to do with his music.

 

[Rita]

I loved that The Weeknd song and have never heard it before!

 

[rhythmba-la-la-la-la]

Talk about milking your five minutes of "fame".

 

[Rita]

Talk about milking your five minutes of "fame".

Who?

 

[KNT]

Who?

Michelle Obama

 

[Rita]

Michelle Obama

That’s what I thought.

What the FUCK?

 

[KNT]

That’s what I thought.

What the FUCK?

I think he means the SKINNY JEANS LADS really

 

[Rita]

I think he means the SKINNY JEANS LADS really

Oh. He is a fair bit BEHIND.

 

[funky]

Loving this Whitney Houston hologram

 

[funky]

YAAAAAAAAS!

 

[Rita]

I quite LIKE Haim.

 

[KNT]

I had no idea that song was BTS

 

[rhythmba-la-la-la-la]

Nonplussed audience reactions are the best.