Cumgate: The Ineffable Survival of Dominic Cummings

[THEY CALL ME GAJA]

The "Take care" at the end

 

[Ha-lucy-nation]

Did he have to borrow that shirt? It blatantly doesn’t fit him!

 

[dzjermlaw]

I think the only way that could have gone worse would have been if he'd mentioned that Prince Andrew had gone to visit his seventeen year old niece.

 

[Eddie]

He wrote rules that he could break.

 

[nerys]

The "Take care" at the end

With a nice big cough.

 

[Madison]

How can he not regret the journey? In the end, he didn't even need childcare.

 

[ButterTart]

God that was AMAZING. The last thing I expected to get out of this press conference was an erection.

 

[COB]

These absolutely toadying tweets they're reading out from Tory MPs

 

[Madison]

It's quite unnerving liking a JHB post:




EDIT: Oh - I didn't see that it said "End of." I'm not liking that.

 

[Ellie]

Did he have to borrow that shirt? It blatantly doesn’t fit him!

 

[Christian]

Twenty minutes to Boris getting the exact same set of questions!

 

[Loufoque]

This cunt made Mark Zuckerberg's interrogations in Congress look LIKEABLE!

 

[Christian]

I mean, I expected a Johnson premiership to be a total shitshow, but this is next level stuff.

 

[Cerro de Casa]

Twenty minutes to Boris getting the exact same set of questions!

Get your TOP UPS ready ladies

 

[Soldi Elektronike]

 

[THEY CALL ME GAJA]

Who's up for a Moopymeet trip to Barnyard castle?

 

[Soldi Elektronike]

Who's up for a Moopymeet trip to Barnyard castle?

MASS PISS IN THE WOODS

 

[COB]

Get your TOP UPS ready ladies

And remember to ask your parents if you need the toilet!

 

[dzjermlaw]

Who's up for a Moopymeet trip to Barnyard castle?

Moopy's zoophiliacs are desperate for a trip to Barnyard Castle.

 

[Madison]

Who's up for a Moopymeet trip to Barnyard castle?

I don't have a licence and my last driving lesson was nearly 20 years ago.

So yes - a trip to Barnard Castle will be a perfectly reasonable test of my driving.

 

[Soldi Elektronike]

I don't have a licence and my last driving lesson was nearly 20 years ago.

So yes - a trip to Barnard Castle will be a perfectly reasonable test of my driving.

It’s ok I’ll drive us all up after staring at the SUN for 20 minutes

 

[dzjermlaw]

I think I'm probably going to manage not to feel sympathy for Dominic Cummings.

 

[THEY CALL ME GAJA]

Who's up for a Moopymeet trip to Barnyard castle?

For those interested the itinerary includes @Star driving us 270 miles without stopping (sorry Lucille, you'll need that catheter!) to a country cottage, where we will be vomiting into toilets and enjoying mild symptoms of COVID-19. After a quick visit to hospital at 3am, @octophone will be spraying mace into her eyes before ferrying us towards Barnyard Castle on what promises to be the drive of a lifetime. After a quick pee and a mooch around the surroundings, we'll be heading straight back to London on a near-empty tank of fuel

 

[cwej]

I think I'm probably going to manage not to feel sympathy for Dominic Cummings.

Who is THIS cunt now?!

 

[ButterTart]

Who is this absolute cunt on the BBC calling a sedate press conference a witch trial?

 

[Loufoque]

Anyway, he came across in the conference as fabulously unlikeablely as I had hoped. No more PIP PIP TOFF POFF Boris waffle that gives gammons such a fucking hard on. Christina Aguilera Bionic era realness.

 

[octophone]

A wee round of applause for the tagger who left "Cumdog Millionaire". Well played.

I couldn;t watch this properly cos I was still in work so just catching up now but FUCK MY HAT.

 

[Soldi Elektronike]

I should probably STOP posting these, or indeed ALL TOGETHER

 

[Zu]

I don't have a licence and my last driving lesson was nearly 20 years ago.

So yes - a trip to Barnard Castle will be a perfectly reasonable test of my driving.

I’ll sit in the back. Rumours of friends calling me P. Knickers are GREATLY exaggerated! Just a little poo and sicky every now and then

 

[dzjermlaw]

Who is this absolute cunt on the BBC calling a sedate press conference a witch trial?

Former adviser to David Cameron whose wikipedia suggests that he defended Boris Johnson when he was accused of groping someone by suggesting that you don't know whether a grope will be welcomed until after you have done it.

 

[COB]

Anyway, he came across in the conference as fabulously unlikeablely as I had hoped. No more PIP PIP TOFF POFF Boris waffle that gives gammons such a fucking hard on. Christina Aguilera Bionic era realness.

"You had to really be a Tory lover, be a true fan of Brexit and the love of being open to really appreciate that statement. It's just a special piece in my body of work that will forever live on." - Dom Cum a minute ago, probably.

 

[rocketstail]

 

[ButterTart]

Not since Team Danney submitted a blank canvas have I seen such a desperate attempt to justify one's actions.

 

[nerys]

Cummings’ demeanour throughout the press conference had a real whiff of CBB-eviction-interview-era Jo O’Meara.

 

[Madison]

Lisa McKenzie: The rich are always breaking the rules, so we shouldn't be bothered.

 

[Zu]

I thought Lisa was a bit of a tit TBH. Although I went for a piss halfway through so maybe I missed some gems

 

[octophone]

Surely this is the end of any image he may have had or hoped for that he is a super-intelligent shadowplayer. He's just made an absolute cunt of himself.

And I've made £50 because the BBC just inadvertently broadcast my noise-violin album for longer than the permitted 30 seconds.

 

[Hard Rock Ag-elujah]

I thought Lisa was a bit of a tit TBH. Although I went for a piss halfway through so maybe I missed some gems

Well that's the FAR LEFT for you

 

[C’est la VoR]

The all-important Kelle Bryan take

 

[Zu]

Oh PISS OFF KELLE