Katy Perry - 143 (Worst Rated Album EVER by a female artist) (2 Viewers)

Can Katy turn things around and snatch a hit?

  • yes, unconditionally

  • sure, it's never really over

  • maybe, by the grace of god

  • potentially, she's a dark horse

  • probably not (self-inflicted)

  • no, now she's just a ghost

Results are only viewable after voting.
dmlaw said:
This wet fart is Vernon Kay’s Album of the Week on Radio 2. Fortunately, my boss called just as it was being introduced so I missed the actual song.
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A timely reminder that the Radio industry is just an incestuous love-in with record labels and their kickbacks and nothing to do with what songs DJs like.
 
funky said:
Oh I was hoping you were going to love it @Pipo :D
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More Pipo hot takes.

- Thanks to Ketherine, the Doctor will surely become chart poison and no one else will work with him in the future. Yay!
- The downfall of this "popstar" needs to be studied. I mean, at least ages ago when she started you could tell she was "into her craft"; her EP, debut album, and the MTV Unplugged EP were distinctively HER, she even had a handful of songs credited solely to her, what the fuck happened?
- As a society, we need to acknowledge that Teenage Dream was a fluke and a one-off purely down to the collaborators. She hasn't been able to recapture that magic, zeitgeist, and overall goodwill towards her. Maybe we were a bit less discerning in the noughties?
 
I mean to be fair to her, she was NEVER going to top Teenage Dream. That’s one of those unique juggernaut albums that hits at the right exact time.

I feel like she tried to back off that lane after that rush of an era and, now that nothing else has hit all these years later, she thought she could just throw some “fun dance songs” on an album and get back some of that shine.

I still think she would have had better luck with it if she had no chosen to work with Luke but we will never know. Hopefully this is a lesson learned.
 
Woman's World

This becomes so fun if you imagine it as Liz Truss's morning alarm inspo song/internal monologue every day of her life :disco: Anyway, I have long been a fan of feminism, basic bitch pop, and the Moopy forum poster @Shoat - and the qualities of being sexy and confident! As such I have not hated this a single time Spotify has thrust it upon me over the last two months. This immediately inspired me to buy Gloria Steinem's new lipstick and sign up to do a fraudulent vote for Kamala Harris in Pennsylvania - I declare it a 6/10
 
Gimme Gimme

Who else enjoyed the song DARK HORSE (2013)? I enjoyed it so much I stopped this halfway through to go listen to it instead! I approve of the name 21 Savage because I too found being 21 to be savage. And when I eventually came back to this track I was pleased and delighted by the sudden immediate mix into the track after, which has earned both it and that an ADDITIONAL POINT. However aside from that this really is the equivalent of the runt of your octuplets litter that looks like a shitter version of one of the ones that come out first, so you leave it on the side of the mountain to die/survive so it will reveal its inner strength and save the village from invading hordes one day. (on the topic: time for us to get investing in fortifications and archery lessons huns! :disco:)

4/10
 
Gorgeous (feat. Kimothée Petras)

Why? It's not that I'm offended, it's just - we've had Unholy. Why would I want something that just had some of the feel of that production but with an altogether less sticky melody and hook? What it reminds me most of is Drag Race alum music, where the sense is that a song is being recorded not because it has to exist for any particularly compelling reason (artistry/dancerie/malice), but just because a drag queen wants to have recorded a song. Couldn't she have just tried to rebadge Kim - King of Hearts and redone one of the verses in an attempt to force it to finally become the Bubbling Under hit it always deserved to be? At least THAT would have levelled the house down for tens of gays on a rainy island in Northwestern Europe!

3/10
 
I'm His, He's Mine (feat. Doechii)

Good for Katy - this is the SECOND track on this album I could imagine consenting to listen to when forced to by the Spotify shuffle algorithm! It's fine and shamelessly based entirely around the Crystal Waters sample, but then, that's the description for about a solid quarter of pop music for the last two years. I can't say I normally have much nice to say about that trend, but when someone is struggling to tread water I WILL throw them a lifejacket (it's always more fun to call someone a stupid bitch after you have saved their life)

5/10
 
Crush

Shut the front door - it's a relistenable album track that's its own original pop song! (I use 'original' here solely in the strict 'new intellectual property' sense: this is not Lorde - Royals). It's an entirely serviceable bit of handbag house, which frankly is exactly what I expected from this album for what would constitute the peak.

2:57 too - it still isn't too late to throw this into the Maltese national selection Katy! :disco:

6.5/10
 
Lifetimes

...although everything I posted for Crush just then is also true for Lifetimes, with the qualitative difference that I have insisted on skipping it every single time Spotify has attempted to force it upon me this last month. Sorry to be an adherent to JARK'S THEORY OF RELATIVITY, but I'm afraid RELISTENABLE ALBUM TRACK just isn't going to cut it for me as a second single!

2/10
 
All the Love

The first one I could actually imagine citing as a possible highlight on any of the Katy Perry albums any self-respecting faggot actually listened to. What a lovely soaring melody! This should have been in the Witness protection scheme

8/10
 
Nirvana

I'm not sure this one quite works, but they're going for something at least semi-interesting here - the very sudden modulation/mood shifts are quite disconcerting and fun in their way (can't wait to throw Nirvana from Katy Perry album '143' on at my next 2cb house party and immediately be attacked violently by all other attendees :disco:), but they're also on an album that's leaning very heavily into the continuous mix thing, so you're just left wondering for a bit if things have moved onto the next track long before the song felt like it had necessarily got somewhere. And I'm not sure it necessarily actually does get somewhere in the end.

A creditable effort, but probably an ingredient too short and taken out of the oven too fast (or as others may argue, not left in for anywhere near as long enough as required - for the sake of us all!)

5/10
 
Artifical (feat. JD Sports)

Oh right here's that direct cover of Unholy! And love JD Sports nailing the rap verse :disco: Unfortunately otherwise I will simply never listen to this again

2/10
 
Truth

Very mesmering and sexy intro, which recalls some of the work of (insert an artist who ever sounded good with a rumbling synth intro - I was going to say Susanne Sundfør but that would have made you think this might have necessarily been good). I once told someone the truth even though it hurt them and it was a bad decision! I would encourage Katy to reflect on her decisions, particularly with reference to this album, but nonetheless would like to salute her for reading every single review of this album, solely out of dedication to her personal perversions. Why did she end this track with a voicemail? Who has EVER listened to a voicemail? No wonder you don't know where he is!

3/10
 
Wonder

OMG she's ending on a high note! It's like Gypsy but worse. I could have imagined listening to this if it hadn't opened with a child that isn't even her own's voice! Unfortunately otherwise I simply cannot and would encourage Kim Petras to instead just rip off the euphoric synth riff for much more moral purposes (Slut Pop Skegness 😍)

Straight after this Spotify immediately segued into Sabrina Carpenter - Taste, which felt like a real Sarah Connor 'come with me - I will protect you' moment. I am glad we all survived this

3/10
 
I have added All the Love to my quarterly playlist and have instructed Spotify to stop giving me Katy Perry on shuffle
 
Pipo said:
The downfall of this "popstar" needs to be studied. I mean, at least ages ago when she started you could tell she was "into her craft"; her EP, debut album, and the MTV Unplugged EP were distinctively HER, she even had a handful of songs credited solely to her, what the fuck happened?
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during the era you're referencing she was young, hungry for success, had not long since escaped a stifling religious upbringing and had everything to prove. I know she's made a terrible album but let's not act like Katy Perry is the only popstar who ever had it and lost it :D

maintaining that creative fire across 2+ decades and consistently being great at making pop music is something that eludes MOST popstars at some point. Shakira is a very obvious example of the same. but many of our faves have phoned it in once or twice, or three times, to varying degrees...

what happened? she made serious bank, had a kid, found a man, settled down in her rich white LA bubble and started seeing the number 143 everywhere. allegedly.
 
I don't actually necessarily think the 'human hand grenade for Dr Luke' theory is completely implausible.
 
Pipo said:
okay! :D
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I think it's always kind of unfair to critique a megasmash period-defining album era as a 'fluke', mostly just because that level of success can only ever be a bit of a lightning in a bottle thing for most artists. It couldn't necessarily have happened for someone else, because it usually relies on everything coming together at just the right time - an artist coming off the back of a very successful prior era, the songs and sound landing at the perfect moment, their image in general...
 
there's nothing wrong with accepting that Dr., Benny Blanco, Bonnie, Stargate, etc got Katy's creative juices FLOWING. When left to her devices it's a completely different story. I LIKE HER JARK! I've followed her but I've found her output inconsistent post-TD, she depends on the collaborators she chooses, and if that works for her, congrats. As I mentioned, back when she started to she had some songs credited solely to her but they were hardly going to pay the bills. Countless popstars have maintained the level; Shakira as you mentioned, Beyoncé, Madonna, Taylor, Adele, plus many more, and this girl has phoned it in three times in a row.

EDIT: throw in Mariah, Celine and Whitney too :love:
 
That Smile album was largely dreadful, lowest of the low pop for the simple and easily pleased (what a state of grace that must be :disco:), but I found it interesting that Never Really Over pretty much redefined what a flop track was. 700 million streams! Although of course, 5 years ago at this point.
 
KindaCool said:
Let's talk about how her next album will redeem her.
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All the Love really is far and away the one saving grace of this album. What a gorgeous, wistful song!
 
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