Sardonicus reviews a bunch of old 45s

I never hated Mona but it just ripped off that building society advert jingle of the time:

ROYAL LONDON GAVE ME A START
HELPED ME THROUGH THE EARLY PART
 
My father tried to get me into his love for 50s rockabilly just like @Sardonicus, but I didn't bite.

He did introduce me to ABBA, "Guilty" and James Taylor though, so I'm nothing but grateful.
 
The Beautiful South - A Little Time b/w In Other Words I Hate You (1990)

UK chart peak - Number 1

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After a rather COCK-HEAVY ( :ken: ) run of singles, it's nice to hear some female vocals again courtesy of The Beautiful South's Briana Corrigan, who gives a CAREER BEST performance, IMO, on this duet with fellow South member Dave Hemingway.

Briana had done some backing vocals on one previous Beautiful South single, "You Keep It All In" & put in an excellent comedic performance in the video & she upped her game considerably on BOTH COUNTS here. There's a clever contrast between the gentle, cosy sound of the backing music & the cynical, bitter lyrics of a woman fed up to the back teeth of her useless, excuse making fella. Briana strikes the perfect note, with her vocals sounding sweet but sharp, mocking & sarcastic in stark contrast to Dave's hangdog, back-pedalling delivery. The Brit award winning video played on this dynamic perfectly, with the 2 of them arguing in the back garden in the aftermath of the mother of all domestics - the teddy bear with its head IMPALED on a kitchen knife is one of many funny little comic touches. Briana ACTS HER ASS OFF in the video, she's genuinely playing a believable character & it's a rare instance of a music video matching & even ENHANCING the song. I believe it was enough to lift "A Little Time" from top 10 hit to give them their only UK chart topper, albeit just for one week.

The B side is another side of a songwriting CONCEIT that The South return to on a regular basis, of a couple sticking together despite their clear dislike/mistrust of each other, with the sardonic yet slightly humourous lyrics to match. It's a bit LACKING compared to some of their other stuff though, & I can see why it was relegated to a B side.

Unfortunately, chief songwriter Paul Heaton didn't always get the balance right as he did here with his regular observations on the BATTLE OF THE SEXES. Briana upped & left in 1993 in protest at the misogynistic lyrics on songs like "36D" & "Mini-Correct" & replacement Jacqueline Abbot seems to have replaced her in the public memory as the GO-TO female singer for the group. To be fair to Paul, he's since admitted these songs were mistaken & doesn't perform them anymore, so fair play to him for LEARNING & GROWTH. I've long suspected 1994 single "One Last Love Song" was his apology to Briana for the whole DEBACLE, but never found any evidence to PROVE THIS OUT.

After one flop solo single in 1996, I'm not sure what happened to Briana. I can't recall any public appearances since, sadly. The South sold squillions of their 1994 greatest hits in the UK & maintained a regular, often very successful, chart presence until they split in 2007 when the hits dried up along with fresh musical ideas. I've always liked them & listen to them more often than many other groups of their era. I do think they're a VERY BRITISH group though & don't translate well internationally - their only chart appearances in the USA are on the Modern Rock charts with "You Keep It All In" & "We Are Each Other", 2 of their most RADIO FRIENDLY hits.
 
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It's the bit with the dualling guitar solos in Mona that gives me the absolute boak. It's the most smug sound in music, especially when someone is playing a slide.
 
Luciano Pavarotti - Nessun Dorma b/w O Sole Mio (1990)

UK chart peak - Number 2

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I don't know whose idea it was to put The Three Tenors in concert at The Colosseum during the 1990 World Cup in Italy, & I imagine it might have got a fair bit of pushback at the time - in what world would FOOTBALL & CLASSICAL MUSIC ever mix? But what an inspired idea it turned out to be - the accompanying album becoming the biggest selling classical music of all time, the introduction of classical music to a whole new audience, an updating of its stuffy old image & OPERA ICON Luciano Pavarotti becoming the most unlikely new chart star of the year as "Nessun Dorma" sailed EFFORTLESSLY up the UK charts as World Cup fever grew. In fact my first football memory is England losing to West Germany in the semifinals on penalties - I'd probably have done well to QUIT WATCHING there & then, but let's SWIFTLY MOVE ON.

I don't mind a bit of the old classical here & there but I've got to be IN THE MOOD & I'll freely admit to having no idea about the opera this is taken from, "Turandot", or its composer, Puccini. No mind though, as "Nessun Dorma" has since transcended its origins to become probably the best known operatic piece EVER. Pavarotti is long dead - since 2007 - but stop the average person on the street & ask them to name a person or song associated with classical music & I'd wager the majority of them would still name him & this song. Along with the other 2 tenors, he became a global icon of the genre after 1990.

I doubt anyone at Decca thought this song would take off the way it did, but it absolutely has MASS APPEAL, from the FOOTY LADS living their goal of the month fantasies due to its World Cup connections to the mums who bought it for Pavarotti's magnificent vocal performance. For a genre of music viewed by most as ALIEN & SNOOTY, this piece may be the most accessible of all time. And listening to it again, I actually appreciated just how it actually follows the conventional pop song structure in its own way, from its quietly stirring beginnings to the triumphant final vocal blast from Pavarotti as the orchestra CARRIES IT HOME. It stayed at Number 2 for 3 weeks behind Elton John, & it's a real pity it couldn't eke out a week in the top slot, as it would have made a brilliant, & unique, number 1 single. I can't think of any other classical or operatic pieces to top the charts unless I'm missing any from the EARLY YEARS.

We all know the B side too - yes it's the "Just One Cornetto" song. It goes to show that this was an unexpected success for Decca, with it being thrown on the flip side, as I think this might have given old Luciano another SMASH FOLLOW UP if they'd struck while the iron was hot. Regardless, he sold tons of albums off the back of this & I think is still the only classical act to top the UK album charts.

Luciano did get one further top 10 success with "Live Like Horses" in 1996, a duet with the man who kept him off number 1, Elton John. As well as all his other successes, he helped make 1990 the best ever year for FOOTBALL MUSIC, not that there's much competition, between this & "World In Motion" by New Order (how about a revival of THAT instead of "Three Lions" for the squillionth time?)
 
Bobby Vinton - Blue Velvet b/w Blue On Blue (1990)

UK chart peak - Number 2

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On a run of rather MIDDLE AGED faves at the moment. Some :disco: choices aren't too far away, but if I'm going to do this, I need to be fair & give everything a proper review, including the guff & the OLDER GENERATION choices.

To give "Blue Velvet" its due, there's nothing intrinsically WRONG with it. It's competently sung, it's a nice little pop tune & a bigger EARWORM than it might seem on first listen. I've had the BLOODY CHORUS whirling round my head ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY. I'm going to assume this NAGGINGLY CATCHY element is what led Epic to re-release it, as I'll share the Nivea advert it was taken from at the time, but I've no memory of the advert, just the song.

"Blue Velvet" had originally been sung by Tony Bennett in the early 50s & Bobby's cover topped the US charts in 1963. It did BOLLOCK ALL in the UK, however, which I can only assume was down to a lack of promotion, Beatlemania & the fact it sounded like tons of other hits at the same time. This sort of gentle doowop ballad would be all but swept away in the USA the next year too as The Beatles conquered the charts, & what probably relegated "Blue Velvet" to also-ran status in 1963 in the UK was likely the main reason for its success in 1990 - it was a nostalgic throwback to a different, pre-beat music era & this time around, it didn't sound like anything else in the charts. Only "Show Me Heaven" by Maria McKee kept it off the top, & the iconic pottery scene in "Ghost" a couple of months later would see The Righteous Brothers ride a similar nostalgic wave to Number 1 with "Unchained Melody". I was also AGOG to discover Lana Del Rey had covered it in 2012, which I didn't know. I'll give it a listen when I feel less sickened of the Bobby version after 12 hours STUCK IN MY BRAIN.

"Blue On Blue" is another sad boy ballad that follows virtually the same beats as the A side. Looking at Wikipedia the record company got Bobby to record a whole album of "blue" titled songs after he hit number 1, which shows that record company flogging of a success to death is as OLD AS THE HILLS.

Although it didn't last on the radio after its chart run (I suspect most buyers, like my mum, were people who missed it first time round), it's another example of the 1950s revival that had been going on since AT LEAST Billy Joel in 1983, an astonishingly long time for one era to keep charting throwback hits & soundalikes. Also get old Bobby on your Moopy Deathlist predictions as he's still going aged nearly 90 (although retired from performing in 2015). I'm going to feel proper guilty if he CARKS IT next week now I've written that.
 
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I vaguely remember Blue velvet around that time, but had no idea it was because a Nivea advert that we probably never got here.
 
I vaguely remember Blue velvet around that time, but had no idea it was because a Nivea advert that we probably never got here.
It might have also been because of the David Lynch film of the same name out a few years previously, although Wikipedia tells me that this re-release also topped the charts in Portugal in 1991, so its success there might have snuck over the border.
 
It might have also been because of the David Lynch film of the same name out a few years previously, although Wikipedia tells me that this re-release also topped the charts in Portugal in 1991, so its success there might have snuck over the border.
I was gonna say I associate it to the David Lynch movie, but it was a few years old, so it didn't make much sense... but I just remembered that Twin Peaks was a massive hit here by the end of 1990, so maybe they promoted Blue Velvet here with a tv run of the movie or something like that. 🤷‍♂️
 
Status Quo - The Anniversary Waltz Part 1 b/w The Power Of Rock (1990)

UK chart peak - Number 2

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:basil:

Over in Funky's thread, we've seen numerous copycat hit singles that proves out Soul II Soul were the band that provided THE SOUND of 1990. In here, I think I've uncovered a rather more SINISTER influence on the charts that year: Jive Bunny. It's been forgotten about, but the bunny inspired all sorts of hits that year, from Craig McLachlan covering Bo Diddley, to the revivals of old hits by Bobby Vinton, to this rock & roll medley by the Quo, who I'm hazarding a WILD GUESS aren't Moopy favourites. They're certainly not a band I've EVER voluntarily chosen to listen to.

After their career best song, debut hit "Pictures Of Matchstick Men", reached the top 10 & gave them their only US hit of any note in the late 60s, the aptly named Status Quo somehow managed to turn countless variations on one song & three chords into a hugely successful UK chart career stretching over decades. I thought their drivetime Dadrock might have found an American audience with the odd single, so I can only congratulate our AMERICAN COUSINS on their UTTER REJECTION of all things Quo. They only ever spent a week atop the charts in the UK, with "Down Down", but scads of singles got close to the top spot, including this one.

I'm not entirely sure if the band put this together to CASH IN on the Jive Bunny megamix phenomenon, or if they were a bit pissed at the novelty aspect & put this out as a sort of REAL MUSIC alternative. To give the band credit, I was surprised to see this was a live track - 20 odd years together mean they know how to play, & the hits blend together properly & professionally, unlike the jumpy, rushed, cheapo mixing from Jive Bunny. If they'd got this out in 1989 when Jive Bunny were number 1, I could see this scaling the charts as a PROTEST BUY, although I think a Jive Bunny/Status Quo rock & roll medley chart top 2 would have sent many even more APOPLETIC with rage :D

B side "The Power Of Rock" could totally be a Spinal Tap parody, or a ChatGPT APPROXIMATION of a Status Quo song. Ridiculous lyrics & guitar twiddling about how GREAT REAL MUSIC IS. Despite that it's the same chugging MOR soundalike they'd been HAWKING since the 70s.

Status Quo have, I assumed, kept such longevity due to 2 aspects: being a well respected live act who know how to ENTERTAIN A CROWD, & being the musical equivalent of a margherita pizza - it's plain, it's unadventurous & you always know exactly what you're going to get. They're still touring despite founder member Rick Parfitt carking it in 2016, & although I've heard nothing new from them in DECADES, I'd wager the recent stuff is still the same three chord standard they've always been known for.
 
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There was also a Beach Boys medley, because of a doble LP compilation, that was a big hit on the radio here, also in 1990, I think.
 
As a chart watcher from the late 70s, the enduring success of Status Quo always mystified me. As a child I hated them, my friends didn't like them, my parents didn't like them, my gran didn't like them. They were never in Smash Hits, Number One, Record Mirror or whatever magazines I was reading at the time. Yet it felt like they were always on TV, and still having hits long after pop acts I liked had burned through their couple of years of fame and started releasing flops. IT JUST DIDN'T SEEM FAIR :evil:
 
All these medley hits and yet the Saturdays Megamix didn’t reach the charts in 1990 for some inexplicable reason.
 
Medleys were a big deal when I was growing up too, but it was Stars on 45 and covers bands. JIve Bunny revived the thing, IIRC. At some point, a decicion seemed to be made that the actual artist should be in the loot.

Anyway. Status Quo. Shite (by that time).
 
Kim Appleby - Mama b/w Don't Worry (1991)

UK chart peak - Number 19

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Single number 3 from Kim's debut album, it's one of the songs she wrote with Mel in the late 80s before Mel got too ill to go on working, & it's a lovely, gentle ballad about a mother's love for her kids. Considering a couple of the reasons I started this thread was a bit of CATHARSIS & trying to work through my own grief, as fantastic as this single is, this was really the wrong song at the wrong time. It turned me into a BLUBBERING WRECK & I'm welling up again typing this out. Hopefully one of the other regular contributors to this thread can chime in with a review, as I don't think I have the CAPACITY. Apologies for spoiling this one with my WOKE NONSENSE.

"Don't Worry" is on the B side, & it's a 13/10, as already discussed. I can only assume the reason it's shown up again is a lack of material to put out there, or Parlophone trying to siphon up any latecomers who missed the hit the first time around. I suspect the latter.

Sadly this was Kim's last top 40 appearance, which was rather unjust as :disco: follow up "If You Cared" just missed, as did fab 1993 comeback "Light Of The World" (I still have the 12 inch!) which stalled at a frustrating number 41. I realised doing this review that every single she released, whether solo or with Mel & Kim, hit or flop, was a banger. Very rare indeed for any artist to have a 100% strike rate, never mind twice over. BRAVO, Kim :disco:
 
Mama is alright but there was much better they left unreleased on that album…
 
In my head there’s a stack of good singles that got stuck at the frustrating #41 slot and the slots just below. I’m sure this happened to Haze more than ONCE.
 
MAMA is a song that I only discovered recently on my musical JOURNEY.

I used to absolutely ADORE "Don't Worry" but I listened to it again recently and it hasn't AGED WELL for me. I've never listened to the album.
 
In my head there’s a stack of good singles that got stuck at the frustrating #41 slot and the slots just below. I’m sure this happened to Haze more than ONCE.
Haze had it happen twice in a row with "Back In My Arms (Once Again)" & "No Fool (For Love)" - followed by "They Say It's Gonna Rain" only reaching number 58. That one should have been a top 10 smash for sure.

And you're right - there's a bunch of others. "Miracle" by Olive stalled at 41 twice, Kim's "Light Of The World", "Coloured Kisses" by Martika, "Vision Of You" by Belinda Carlisle, "She Sells" by Banderas, "I Know" by Dionne Farris, "I Can Dream" by Skunk Anansie & I'm sure there's several more.
 
Mike Stock says how he feels SAW were cheated out of loads of hits by the way so many of their records stalled at #41. He claims it was foul play, noted by the way things flew up and suddenly stalled out of nowhere.
 

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