ButterTart's 100 Greatest Melodifestivalen Songs - 2002 to 2024

So what the actual FUCK has won? There are some BIG songs yet to appear in the rate - have I gone with one of them or have I just gone 'lol rockin the ride was quite good let's go with that'?
 
I stand with you. I mean, it wouldn’t be in my top 50, but I get it.

The post chorus has the makings of a really great separate song of its own

Hela landet spinn
När kingen glider in
Diggi ding ding ding
Här glider kingen in
 
WINNER! Charlotte Perrelli – The Girl (2012)



Heat 4 – 5th place. Sweden belongs in jail.​



THEN:

“Schlager is dead ”
@VoR 25/02/2012

“She knew. At least she had some dignity about it.”
@D5K 25/02/2012

“all that build up and dreams and expectations
i feel like killing myself”
@Suomi 25/02/2012

“STOP SAYING THINGS! We are tearing ourselves apart!”
@Kratz 25/02/2012

“I'm so sorry for your loss gays ”
@Star 25/02/2012

“I'm so upset. That reduces my interest in the final to Loreen and VoR.”
@Alla 25/02/2012

“I'm calling it. This is the worst Melodifestivalen ever.”
@VoR 25/02/2012


NOW:

“TALK ABOUT A SONG to KICK THE PREGNANT DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS TO”
@Penelope 05/04/2024

“Seeing this performed live last year remains the highlight of my life.”
@ZenGiraffe 05/04/2024

“it might be my favourite entry EVER of hers now. It's ABSOLUTELY GLORIOUS.”
@Sheena 05/04/2024

“Like being ran over by a disco train, still being alive and ready to have your body parts be found to do it all again over and over.”
@straightorbroken 05/04/2024

“If a better pop song exists, I haven't heard it”
@dUb 05/04/2024

Even for ME, this was a surprise.

I knew I loved this song and I knew it would do big business in this rate, but as I was compiling it I realised there was NOTHING - not even God-king Sean Banan – that I could justify putting above it. So here we are: Charlotte Perrelli’s ‘The Girl’ is my favourite Melodifestivalen song of all time.

It’s easy to see how I came to this decision; ‘The Girl’ is THE perfect Mello song:

  • Performed by a gay-interest middle aged woman
  • Blatant ABBA references
  • A key change that could skin a rhino at fifty paces
  • Strutting
  • Sweden being cunts and paying it absolute dust
  • @VoR investing his current and future mental stability in its success
It’s also about as good a pop song as you’ll ever have the fortune to hear. The verses are engaging and memorable for everyone except their singer, and the chorus is otherworldly brilliance – this is a song that CANNOT and SHOULD NOT be sung at socially acceptable volumes. I have no qualm with singing ‘I was the gi-i-irl’ out loud, as @COB can attest to (His slightly concerned ‘Oh, you’re doing the key change?’ as I was idly singing this in a Glasgow street is an abiding memory I have of this song). I’ve called almost everything on this list a stomper up to now, but this is a fucking STOMPER, a pop juggernaut, a song which reaches a crescendo seconds in and somehow just gets bigger from there.

We also need to talk about that key change. Holy shit, it should be taught in schools. If Dignitas played it in their waiting room, they’d go bankrupt within a week. 2:26 in the video above IS Melodifestivalen; it’s why we love this dreadful contest and make our pilgrimages to that ungrateful little country. This is pop being done exceptionally well – a singer who knows her audience with a song that fully earns such a MOMENT of a key change. You know I love my songs big and daft and I can’t express how SATISFYING every second of ‘The Girl’ is – it’s so cohesive, it’s so spectacular, it’s so very, very destined to go unappreciated by the Swedes.

The Girl is the most expensive musical performance ever staged, costing approximately £3.4 billion, most of which was spent on a projector and some dancers dressed like off-duty pink Power Rangers. Charlotte is Charlotte, and Charlotte is incredible at selling a song like it’s the most important thing she’s ever done. She brings such an eagerness and joy to any performance (Mitt Liv a possible exception). It would be remiss of me to not mention the colossal fuck up in the second verse; I LOVED reading back through the thread as everyone frantically tried to pretend it wasn’t noticeable. It was, let’s be honest. She literally stops singing and then just mumbles indistinctly until she’s back on familiar ground and can bellow ‘THAT’S CHANGIIIING’. Still, Charlotte botching a verse still manages to put on a better show than pretty much anyone else, so needless to say she goes on to bring this bitch home, kicking absolute fuck out of the final chorus to give us a moment for the ages. Jesus, this goes MASSIVE.

So there we have it. I don’t think it could have been anyone else walking away with the crown, in fairness. A Melodifestivalen classic is about more than just the song – it’s about the singer, the performance, the mark it left on the contest and how long @VoR was in hospice care following its failure. Charlotte delivers on every front… not just delivers, EXCELS. She’s truly in a league of her own in the contest, a showstopper regardless of what she sends or how well she does on the night. This is the perfect marriage of singer and song which, quite rightly, is now regarded as an all-time Mello classic. God bless you, Charles, and all the millionaires who sail in you.

Feel the power of dancing :disco:
 
Despicable. The Girl is nothing but a concoction of stilettos and cliché's stitched together. With no sense and no context, the entire creation is constantly ripping apart at its seams.
 
Hak said:
Despicable. The Girl is nothing but a concoction of stilettos and cliché's stitched together. With no sense and no context, the entire creation is constantly ripping apart at its seams.
Click to expand...
FUCK YOU
 
Hak said:
Despicable. The Girl is nothing but a concoction of stilettos and cliché's stitched together. With no sense and no context, the entire creation is constantly ripping apart at its seams.
Click to expand...
Motion to BANISH HAK PERMANENTLY from the Melodifestivalen forum.
 
ButterTart said:
2. Sean Banan - Sean den förste Banan



AC – Lost to some horrible, no-name old cunt​



“If that UNMITIGATED SHITE qualifies in any form, I officially lose all faith with Sweden.”
@VoR, 04/02/2012

“Sean Banan can FUCK OFF!”
@Penelope 18/08/2014

“Sean Banan for CUNT OF THE MONTH I don't think I have EVER hated a MF contestant MORE”
@VoR, 04/02/2012

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?”
@Sheena, 21/04/2024

CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARL den sexentonde Gustaf

Håll ett ögat på din tron

För här kommer kingen

Sean den förste Banan

HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAA

Look, I know you’re very upset with me right now and I appreciate how cruel it was for me to tag the people who are likely to be the most enraged about this, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to insist.

You see, I love ‘Sean den förste Banan’. I love it to the point that it’s legitimately one of my favourite songs of all time. I love it so much that I started this rate fully prepared to crown it the winner; I’m still in shock that another song turned my head to the point that THIS had to settle for silver.

Every single aspect of this feels like it was engineered to appeal specifically to me. It’s a Europop song with an incredible, disgustingly catchy chorus. It’s a comedy song about an Iranian immigrant who wants to be king of Sweden. It boasts my favourite Melodifestivalen performance of all time. It slags off Carola. If you took all of my wants, hopes and ambitions and shaped them into a three minute bop, it would sound like this.

‘Sean den förste Banan’ is designed to clamp itself to your brain after one listen and never release its grip, a function it accomplishes flawlessly. Like it or not, the ‘Diggi Diggi Diggi’ chorus is an absolute masterstroke; even if you hate this song and haven’t listened to it in bare time fam, I bet you still remember EXACTLY how it goes. Musically and lyrically, ‘Sean den förste Banan’ is packed to the rafters with little moments and details, from the line where he introduces himself as being from a country made of beards and sand, to the sort-of-middle-8 where he announces that meatballs and Ikea (but NOT Carola) are fucking good, to that genuinely fucking brilliant spoken word challenge to the actual reigning monarch. This is why I love it so much, it’s just so FULL. I don’t think a single idea was left in the editing room; Sean fires moment after moment at us for three minutes and, for me at least, every one of them lands :disco:

As I mentioned before, I truly ADORE the performance – it was one of the first Melodifestivalen songs I ever took notice of and I don’t think it’s been bettered since. Sean has BAGS of charisma and delivers this with matchless enthusiasm. He’s a born performer. The choreography during the chorus is fun and ridiculously slick, but again it’s the level of DETAIL which properly sells ‘Sean den förste Banan’. Every lyric seems to have a corresponding visual, every second commands attention – this is a three-act play in a three-minute song, evolving and building in a genuine effort to steal the entire show despite being the first song of the first heat. Whether in studio or live form, everything from 2:19 in the video is – hands down – my favourite thing ever to have happened at Mello. It’s JUST. SO. GOOD. The spoken word threat to Carl Gustav is delivered with such manic energy it feels massive, like a winner’s reprise (especially juxtaposed with the cut to the audience looking thoroughly nonplussed straight after), and he follows this by IMMEDIATELY dropping into a key change, somersaulting across the stage under a blizzard of confetti and then dances in front of his golden throne while being flanked by showgirls. It’s more akin to an interval act than a competitor in scale, a masterclass in making your moment count. You’ve got three minutes to sell the living cunt out of your product, Gunilla, THIS IS HOW YOU FUCKING DO IT.

I’m shaking and crying just describing this, to be honest. I love the very bones of it. From the comments at the time, only @Apoca and @Suomi don’t think me a raging cunt for alleging that this is the second best song ever sent to Melodifestivalen. Even so, this is my rate; there is not - nor will there ever be – any situation where ‘Sean den förste Banan’ wouldn’t achieve a podium placing.

Hela landet spin när kingen glider in
Click to expand...


Look I don't hate it but that doesnt mean I don't think you're RAGING for putting it second :basil:
 
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