VoR
Take it or leave it
So on Saturday the Swedish public selected their Anders Bagge for the year, and gays of a certain vintage reached the sobering conclusion that the upstart popstrells who effectively replaced our beloved Schlager divas are now themselves being consigned to the glue factory. The circle of life is a cruel, cruel mistress…
Let’s see who'll be raising our collective blood pressure this week, shall we?
1. Paul Rey - Royals
LIAMOO, Dino Medanhodzic, Paul Rey och Jimmy "Joker" Thörnfeldt
I already gave the title of Sweden's most boring repeat Melfest star to Victor Crone back in week one, but really I should have thought ahead.
'Paul Rey' has allegedly had two songs reach the finals in the past five years, but you could put a gun to my head and I still couldn't hum either one of them. I have a dim memory that the last one was about his child, which never bodes well.
However, he did co-pen Cazzi Opeia's I Can't Get Enough last year, and apparently he's promising an uptempo banger this time around. Given it's co-penned by LIAMOO I'm more primed for Bluffin' part 2 than an unexpected slice of rainbow schlager, but however it sits, the only way is up with this one...
2. Casanovas - Så kommer känslorna tillbaka
Mikael Karlsson och Henrik Sethsson
Serving more 'friendly neighbourhood darts team' than 'famed Italian lothario', the Casanovas are part of that seemingly deathless Swedish tradition, the Dansband.
Essentially schlager but filtered through male vocals and rockabilly instead of synths and chiffon, it's an enjoyable enough diversion that almost always crops up in some capacity and usually does quite well.
Reasons for optimism - this one was co-penned by Henrik Sethsson, who was last seen in 2011 with Jenny Silver's Something In Your Eyes. Another Lisa Scott-Lee worthy stomper of that vintage is probably too much to ask for here, but it’s enough to hope that this won't be an entirely offensive showing.
3. Melanie Wehbe - For The Show
Herman Gardarfve, David Lindgren Zacharias och Melanie Wehbe
As a songwriter, Melanie Wehbe's Melfest contributions have ranged from the sublime (Move by The Mamas, Lina Hedlund's Victorious) to the forgettable (last year's sacrificial twink Angelino). She describes her style as 'emotional pop' - as opposed to sociopathic pop I guess - and she's making her debut a week before the return of her former girlfriend Mariette, who recently got married and had a baby.
Is this going to be an Alanis Morissette-esque fuck you to her seemingly happier ex? Again, probably not, but co-writer David Lindgren (not that one)'s biggest successes so far have included Clara Klingenström and Lisa Miskovsky's recent entries, so that's probably the sort of vibe you can expect here.
(David also co-wrote Sonja Aldén's Sluta Aldrig Går, and if Melanie wants to make like Sonja and end this performance by transfiguring into the risen Christ, I strongly encourage her to follow that impulse.)
4. Nordman - Släpp alla sorger
Thomas G:son och Jimmy Jansson
Not to age/body shame but on the evidence of the picture above, the current toxic viral trend that is 'Twink death' hit Mr Nordman like a ton of bricks since the salad days of their debut album cover.
It comes to us all, love.
Anyway, last seen casting insane zealot/schlager icon Carola into the fiery pits of hell back in 2008, Nordman's general sound is an intriguing mix of gruff folk-rock and bouncy Nordic folk. Their 2005 Melfest debut was a boot, but I unashamedly love the aforementioned I lågornas sken from 2008, which is essentially just a Sarek song as performed by a man whose vocal chords are entirely made up of fused together cigarette butts.
They've experienced a big revival in the past year, thanks to a well received turn on Swedish reality show Så mycket bättre, and the initial buzz around this entry was that it was a potential winner. That's probably a bit too pie in the sky, but with G:son in the mix there's plentiful reason for optimism here.
5. Laurell - Sober
Anderz Wrethov, Andreas Stone Johansson, Laurell Barker, Thomas Stengaard
Canadians have experienced mixed fortunes on the Eurovision stage, from the career-making victory of Celine Dion in 1988 to future astronaut(!) Rykka and her infamous drinking-bird inspired choreography in 2016.
Hoping to land somewhere in the middle of those poles is jobbing songwriter Laurell Barker, who may be a familiar name - if not face - to Eurovision watchers due to her Ylva & Linda-esque omnipresence at the various songwriting camps that take place every year.
In her defence, she has actually managed to get to Eurovision on five separate occasions, most notably in 2019 when she had credits on Switzerland's fortune reviving banger She Got Me, and the bottom two entries that year from Germany and the United Kingdom. Range!
She recently enjoyed a bona-fide continental hit of her own with the not-bad Habit, and having been long resident in Malmö, she's finally parlayed that success into a headline slot at Melfest. Whether she's got the stage presence to back up her ability to find creative new opportunities to rhyme rain with pain remains to be seen, but she's also on the credits for Maria Sur's recent finalist, so even if this bricks she can probably anticipate a healthy payday this year.
6. Ida Lova - Låt Hela Stan Se På
Andreas ”Giri” Lindbergh, Ida-Lova Lind, Joy Deb, Linnea Deb
Arriving to sweep the shrivelled corpses of ancient hags such as Lisa Ajax and Wiktoria off the stage for good, 18 year old Ida Lova is an up and coming singer-songwriter who just released her debut EP to modest success last year. Based on a quick skim of that, her style is emotive pop in a Clara Klingenström sort of vein, so presumably they'll be hoping to reap similar rewards here.
The presence of one half of the once-reliable Debs should hopefully keep the tempo from slipping into 'deathly', but it's all been a bit hit-or-miss for that lot since the divorce, so as with their child support filing, the jury remains firmly out.
7. Marcus & Martinus - Air
(Jimmy “Joker” Thörnfeldt, Joy Deb, Linnea Deb, Marcus Gunnarsen, Martinus Gunnarsen)
Scandinavia's answer to Jedward, twink twins Marcus & Martinus are chart topping sensations in their native Norway, so it's a mild surprise to see them crossing the aisle and making their first Eurovision foray for neighbouring Sweden.
They have had some success on these shores though, and their bouncy single Elektrisk clocked up over a year on the Swedish charts back in 2016. Party music is kind of their brand, so I'd hope this will at least bring the semi to a rousing close.
Also, for those who will inevitably be wondering, yes they're both 21 now so it's FINE.
Let’s see who'll be raising our collective blood pressure this week, shall we?
1. Paul Rey - Royals
LIAMOO, Dino Medanhodzic, Paul Rey och Jimmy "Joker" Thörnfeldt
I already gave the title of Sweden's most boring repeat Melfest star to Victor Crone back in week one, but really I should have thought ahead.
'Paul Rey' has allegedly had two songs reach the finals in the past five years, but you could put a gun to my head and I still couldn't hum either one of them. I have a dim memory that the last one was about his child, which never bodes well.
However, he did co-pen Cazzi Opeia's I Can't Get Enough last year, and apparently he's promising an uptempo banger this time around. Given it's co-penned by LIAMOO I'm more primed for Bluffin' part 2 than an unexpected slice of rainbow schlager, but however it sits, the only way is up with this one...
2. Casanovas - Så kommer känslorna tillbaka
Mikael Karlsson och Henrik Sethsson
Serving more 'friendly neighbourhood darts team' than 'famed Italian lothario', the Casanovas are part of that seemingly deathless Swedish tradition, the Dansband.
Essentially schlager but filtered through male vocals and rockabilly instead of synths and chiffon, it's an enjoyable enough diversion that almost always crops up in some capacity and usually does quite well.
Reasons for optimism - this one was co-penned by Henrik Sethsson, who was last seen in 2011 with Jenny Silver's Something In Your Eyes. Another Lisa Scott-Lee worthy stomper of that vintage is probably too much to ask for here, but it’s enough to hope that this won't be an entirely offensive showing.
3. Melanie Wehbe - For The Show
Herman Gardarfve, David Lindgren Zacharias och Melanie Wehbe
As a songwriter, Melanie Wehbe's Melfest contributions have ranged from the sublime (Move by The Mamas, Lina Hedlund's Victorious) to the forgettable (last year's sacrificial twink Angelino). She describes her style as 'emotional pop' - as opposed to sociopathic pop I guess - and she's making her debut a week before the return of her former girlfriend Mariette, who recently got married and had a baby.
Is this going to be an Alanis Morissette-esque fuck you to her seemingly happier ex? Again, probably not, but co-writer David Lindgren (not that one)'s biggest successes so far have included Clara Klingenström and Lisa Miskovsky's recent entries, so that's probably the sort of vibe you can expect here.
(David also co-wrote Sonja Aldén's Sluta Aldrig Går, and if Melanie wants to make like Sonja and end this performance by transfiguring into the risen Christ, I strongly encourage her to follow that impulse.)
4. Nordman - Släpp alla sorger
Thomas G:son och Jimmy Jansson
Not to age/body shame but on the evidence of the picture above, the current toxic viral trend that is 'Twink death' hit Mr Nordman like a ton of bricks since the salad days of their debut album cover.
It comes to us all, love.
Anyway, last seen casting insane zealot/schlager icon Carola into the fiery pits of hell back in 2008, Nordman's general sound is an intriguing mix of gruff folk-rock and bouncy Nordic folk. Their 2005 Melfest debut was a boot, but I unashamedly love the aforementioned I lågornas sken from 2008, which is essentially just a Sarek song as performed by a man whose vocal chords are entirely made up of fused together cigarette butts.
They've experienced a big revival in the past year, thanks to a well received turn on Swedish reality show Så mycket bättre, and the initial buzz around this entry was that it was a potential winner. That's probably a bit too pie in the sky, but with G:son in the mix there's plentiful reason for optimism here.
5. Laurell - Sober
Anderz Wrethov, Andreas Stone Johansson, Laurell Barker, Thomas Stengaard
Canadians have experienced mixed fortunes on the Eurovision stage, from the career-making victory of Celine Dion in 1988 to future astronaut(!) Rykka and her infamous drinking-bird inspired choreography in 2016.
Hoping to land somewhere in the middle of those poles is jobbing songwriter Laurell Barker, who may be a familiar name - if not face - to Eurovision watchers due to her Ylva & Linda-esque omnipresence at the various songwriting camps that take place every year.
In her defence, she has actually managed to get to Eurovision on five separate occasions, most notably in 2019 when she had credits on Switzerland's fortune reviving banger She Got Me, and the bottom two entries that year from Germany and the United Kingdom. Range!
She recently enjoyed a bona-fide continental hit of her own with the not-bad Habit, and having been long resident in Malmö, she's finally parlayed that success into a headline slot at Melfest. Whether she's got the stage presence to back up her ability to find creative new opportunities to rhyme rain with pain remains to be seen, but she's also on the credits for Maria Sur's recent finalist, so even if this bricks she can probably anticipate a healthy payday this year.
6. Ida Lova - Låt Hela Stan Se På
Andreas ”Giri” Lindbergh, Ida-Lova Lind, Joy Deb, Linnea Deb
Arriving to sweep the shrivelled corpses of ancient hags such as Lisa Ajax and Wiktoria off the stage for good, 18 year old Ida Lova is an up and coming singer-songwriter who just released her debut EP to modest success last year. Based on a quick skim of that, her style is emotive pop in a Clara Klingenström sort of vein, so presumably they'll be hoping to reap similar rewards here.
The presence of one half of the once-reliable Debs should hopefully keep the tempo from slipping into 'deathly', but it's all been a bit hit-or-miss for that lot since the divorce, so as with their child support filing, the jury remains firmly out.
7. Marcus & Martinus - Air
(Jimmy “Joker” Thörnfeldt, Joy Deb, Linnea Deb, Marcus Gunnarsen, Martinus Gunnarsen)
Scandinavia's answer to Jedward, twink twins Marcus & Martinus are chart topping sensations in their native Norway, so it's a mild surprise to see them crossing the aisle and making their first Eurovision foray for neighbouring Sweden.
They have had some success on these shores though, and their bouncy single Elektrisk clocked up over a year on the Swedish charts back in 2016. Party music is kind of their brand, so I'd hope this will at least bring the semi to a rousing close.
Also, for those who will inevitably be wondering, yes they're both 21 now so it's FINE.
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at Nordman's TWINK ROT and 
at the calls for FOUR FOOT MEL to make like SANTA SONJA. And is it me, or is one of Casanovas DISTINCTLY about 2-3 decades younger than all the rest?
