Moopyvision 2010-2019 Round 12: Albania, Belgium & Spain

As long as Edurne (can't remember if that's the artist or song) gets her RATION POINTS I'm fine
 
Alla said:
I think I ranked her below R.L., which says it all. :side-eye:
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Alla, she MOVED THE SUN ACROSS THE SKY. We were literally out of our seats cheering when we watched that on the night, because we were poor and thick and living in the provinces so we didn't understand the magic of stage lighting.
 
You love her because she had every single eurovision cliché in her 3 minutes performance. Poorly executed.
 
Albania

10th: Adrian Lulgjuraj & Bledar Sejko - Identitet (22pts)

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Ah, what's an impoverished Balkan countdown without the obligatory COCK ROCK entry?

Y'know, on paper this checks every box for instant dismissal, but I have to be honest - after eight consecutive haunted looking women simulating the agonised screams of childbirth for 3 minutes apiece, this agreeable sludge was a welcome change of pace. As we'll see, Albania rarely fork out for any kind of stage show, but somebody dipped into the pyro fund for this one and it's all the better for it.

Also, look at them! They're all utterly ridiculous specimens and I suspect the guitarist might actually be Diane Keaton after a tracheotomy and a few months of misplaced HRT, but see how much fun they're having! Living their Bon Jovi fantasies as if they were playing the Superbowl, instead of a half-full arena full of apathetic gays.

Still garbage musically, but bless them for at least not sounding like the soundtrack to a ritual suicide.

Highest mark: 5 (Penelope)
11 x 0 (Pingu, Jacques, Kevin7, David_5000, Madison, Dark Carnival, wurst, Alla, Ag, Win The Game, Kalabaliken)
 
Not completely horrific, but the first guy looked so much like a paedophile that it could only have been a deliberate styling choice.
 
9th: Hersi Matmuja - One Night's Anger (62pts)

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Being no stranger to the world of Emma Bunton B-sides, this lilting number was a bit of a low-key favourite of mine back in 2014, though of course I'd never even considered going back to it since before this weekend. It's very WORDY, but she handles it with aplomb and it feels like the kind of song that really takes you on a JOURNEY, even if it's just a rickety soviet bus to a provincial beet farm where you'll be dead from smallpox or shot dead by a local for looking askance at his best Donkey within the year.

Ahem, anyway. The stage show for this is a complete bore. Why even bother shipping in that bloody plinth if all you're going to do is plonk her on it as though she's weighing up a suicide leap? Keep calm and think twice INDEED.

I'm sorry, I'm really quite tired.

1x 6 dmlaw
5x 1 (Tischlampe, Madison, David_5000, Kevin, Win The Game)
 
There was a lot worse than this, although it could cleRly have done with anything resembling a chorus.
 
It just doesn't do much compared to other Albanian howling wenches, it's pleasant but not conveying any Albanian torture that you'd expect. In fact being pleasant is not an Albanian strength.
 
ButterTart said:
I note with horror that Suus has yet to appear. If we're going to punish Albania for sending shouty women, it makes sense to make an example of the very shoutiest.
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Yes. I hope she's soon. Terrible. Although quite iconic.
 
9th is about right for this. It's so dull. God knows what Hersi must have been up against to win a national final.

And this would have been the reworked version that Albania is so fond of. :bruised:
 
ButterTart said:
It is memorable, but in the same way that having your legs torn off in a horrific escalator accident would be memorable.
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Which in fairness makes it infinitely more memorable than Albanian entries (well, this decade) as a whole.

I think the best agreement here is that "something" has to get through for them.
 
Ag said:
Funnily enough that happened to me just last week and it was actually better.
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Yes I thought you'd mentioned something about that the other day. It was actually the agonised screams of an escalator victim down the Tirana shopping precinct that inspired her to write Suus in the first place.
 
8th: Eneda Tarifa - Fairytale (69pts)

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Taking the maxim 'dress for the job you want' to its logical conclusion, Eneda seems to have turned up in Stockholm dressed as the Academy Award for most boring song of Eurovision 2016.

You really have to wonder how anyone, anywhere raised even a glimmer of enthusiasm for this. Even the backing singers look like they're battling every impulse to just go rogue and start singing something else. Eneda has poise and lung power to spare, but somewhere along the way every trace and urgency of drama was evidently drained out of this. The sound of a country well and truly going through the motions.

1 x 10 (Win The Game)
1 x 0 (VoR)
 
Is there not some story of Eneda being a right diva to Kala (reporting live), demanding to re-do interviews and such like as she wasn't happy with her answers? :D
 
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