Sardonicus reviews a bunch of old 45s (2 Viewers)

OT: Brave browser may well be run by NAZIS but if it means I can watch OUR LISA without having to watch an ad about some fella TRIMMING HIS PRIVATES first and ALSO it will play her in a BACKGROUND WINDOW then I'M ALL FOR IT

ps. Everyone KNOWS
If you DON'T DEMAND it SHOWS
That you understand the LIGHT
Shining INSIDE US
 
LIVE TOGETHER is my Lisa debut choice cut




We've got to LIVE TOGETHER
If we're gonna be FREE
We’ve got to FIND THE ANSWER
RIGHT now
 
I’m looking forward to getting to OUR LISA in my thread because the 2nd and 4th albums are quite simply MAGNIFICENT

(I do like the singles from the 3rd album as it goes, a LOT. There was just nothing else to it beyond that, as Sard mentioned - uncharacteristically GLOOPY)
 
Time To Make You Mine is my Lisa fave too. Pure filth and I'm not even sure what makes it so good.

KISSED your SUGAR LIPS :disco:
 
MY 2025 LISA TOP TEN

1. Someday (I'm Coming Back)
2. Change
3. The Real Thing
4. So Natural
5. Live Together
6. Real Love
7. I Will Be Waiting
8. Set Your Loving Free
9. This Is The Right Time
10. In All The Right Places (soundtrack version)

see also: All Woman, Never Gonna Fall, 8-3-1, Make Love To Ya, Little Bit Of Heaven, I'm Leavin', The Very Thought Of You, Suzanne, Affection, It's Got To Be Real and YES, I suppose All Around The World

WHAT A WOMAN!
 
I have to also mention JACKIE, which was as lead singer of Blue Zone, who were the band she was in pre- solo fame but effectively stayed as her team when she hit big. A strange minor US hit as well.

 
Michael Jackson - Smooth Criminal (7" Edit b/w Instrumental) (1988)

UK chart peak - Number 8

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I'm not 100% sure but I believe another @Ellie FAVE?

Obviously not an artist in need of an introduction, this was one of many singles mined from the "Bad" album between 1987 & 1989. By the time it was released, the album had shifted so many copies that it only peaked in the lower end of the top 10 in both the UK & the USA, but it's one of Michael Jackson's best known songs, still given regular airplay & used in the background all the time on TV & films, & the gravity defying "gangster lean" dance move in the video is probably second only to the Moonwalk as a signature dance MOMENT. A curious point to note is that for many years the UK was the only territory that "Bad" outsold "Thriller" - I've never been sure why it proved more popular here.

For years I always thought he was singing "Annie are you walking" & also had NO IDEA that it was a phrase taken from CPR training until I did a First Aid course years later at work :D It appears to be the centrepiece of the film "Moonwalker" which I vaguely remember sold shedloads on VCR at the time but doesn't appear to have lasted in the PUBLIC CONSCIOUSNESS - other than this song I can't remember a SODDING THING about it.

Both the vocal & instrumental edits included here show there's been very few songwriters over the years that can put together a catchy lyric & a funky, memorable riff like Michael Jackson. It URGES you to dance as soon as the music kicks in, & although not a song I often choose to listen to, I'd forgotten just how much I do enjoy it. I'd probably include it in my WACKO top 10, & the VERSATILITY of the riff was proven out in 2001 when Alien Ant Farm took a nu-metal cover into the top 5, with the song fitting in perfectly with that genre.

The story of Michael Jackson's life & the ensuing controversies would take up another post or 5, but regardless of what you think of him personally, I still don't think there's been another music artist as big as him in our lifetimes. He truly did have a GLOBAL REACH that nobody else did, & his death in 2009 remains one of those "what were you doing when..." pop culture moments.
 
I do CPR training every 2 years for work and it never fails that someone breaks out into singing this song :D
 
I remember the video for this coming out (I had never seen the movie, in fact I still haven’t) and everyone in school just thought it was the GREATEST THING EVER

The Bad album took me a minute because I didn’t care too much for the title track, and I still don’t. But The Way You Make Me Feel is one of the greatest songs of the 80s. And then you have Man In The Mirror, Liberian Girl, Dirty Diana and Smooth Criminal. It was years later before I understood how good IJCSLY was as well. Those 6 songs along are like a greatest hits package.
 
God, I love Smooth Criminal. It's my favourite of the Bad era and, yes, I love the video too.

Albeit you have to put aside the idea he's any sort of GANGSTER :D
 
I love that interview where Prince was asked about why he turned down the Bad video cameo, obviously being the only person to recognise that it would be presented like they were having a gay love affair and given that this was 1987, and the rumours already surrounding both of them, would probably have meant the end of both of their careers…
 
Salt-N-Pepa - Push It b/w I Am Down/Tramp (1988)

UK chart peak - Number 2

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2 B sides for the price of 1 - that's some good FAN SERVICE from the girls! Memory from owning an old Guinness British Hit Singles years ago tells me that both of those songs were listed as flip sides but, I don't believe they ever got airplay. I'd never heard either of them before RIGHT NOW.

Salt, Pep & their mate DJ Spinderella always came across as effortlessly cool girls with ATTITUDE who wouldn't TAKE NO MESS OFF NOBODY. All-female rap groups were (& I guess still are) THIN ON THE GROUND, & nobody else has gotten near the commercial success of Salt-N-Pepa. Between this single & 1991's "Let's Talk About Sex" they spent MANY A WEEK in the runner-up spot in the UK charts without ever managing to claim that ELUSIVE number 1.

Whereas a few other singles featured here could be interpreted through either a religious or a sexual LENS, "Push It" is rather blatantly about LOVELY NICE THICK COCKS. With fab shouty bits & chunky beats designed to HUSTLE everyone urgently to the dancefloor, I imagine it sold in 1988 because it was a PARTY record, but I bet these 3 dancing around rapping about getting a GOOD HARD SHAG might have been QUITE THE SCANDAL then too. Innocent young ladies like Kylie just DIDN'T DO THAT SORT OF THING back then. I bet there was much TUTTING & blaming that CONNIVING TROLLOP Marge.

Anyway it's showing its age a bit but I still love it, I always find myself BLASTING IT OUT with the girls & the synth-led post chorus breakdown is still awesome (& I'm surprised hasn't been sampled). The 2 B sides are both decent, but I'd have actually dated them earlier than 1988 - although I think this might have been a re-release? The beats reminded me of Kurtis Blow or early Run DMC so even then were probably sounding like a bit of a THROWBACK. The girls also keep up their GIRL POWER credentials with "I Am Down" about the girls being able to freestyle with the best of them & "Tramp" having a go at the type of fellas we all know to be RIGHT ARSEHOLES.

Salt-N-Pepa managed a career of pretty impressive longevity - they were still charting in the UK top 30 ten years later & had a bunch more memorable hits. The last one I remember is "Champagne" in 1996 (it contained the words BIG WILLY :ken:) & although their last proper album was released in 1997, they're still doing nostalgia tours, although a quick glance at Wikipedia reveals Spinderella left a tad ACRIMONIOUSLY a few years back :(
 
Salt-N-Pepa - Push It b/w I Am Down/Tramp (1988)


Anyway it's showing its age a bit

What is this ACTUAL FILTH!

"Push It" remains a mount rushmore of early rap, female rap, girl group anthems, 80s dance, and many other genres I can't think of right now.

I can't believe I was TEN when this came out.
 
Speaking of LATE S&P, I recently discovered a collab with none other than SHERYL CROW which I think is from their last album in about 1997. It's quite good! I never bothered with that album - they seemed very PASSÉ by that point because of the likes of Missy Elliott and Lauryn Hill changing the persprective of female rap. But the lead single R U Ready is quite good.
 
Push It was my ringtone for MANY YEARS, back when that was a THING and I won't have a word said AGAINST IT
 
I've already said my piece on S&P this week in funky's thread.

SOMETIMES I think I like TRAMP even MORE :disco:
 
Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine - The Only Living Boy In New Cross b/w Panic (1992)

UK chart peak - Number 7

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No idea if this pile of records all belonged to one person, but what a WILDLY ECLECTIC collection if so. I'm as AGOG as anyone at what keeps showing up next. Also, the plain sleeve slips off to reveal a whole bunch of :ken: adverts for various condom brands. Whether this was intended to promote safer sex or just as bit of a LAUGH I am not sure. Given the :basil:band name possibly a bit of both.

Carter USM were the most well-known group of a brief early 90s indie movement known as GREBO, although the only other example from the genre that SPRINGS TO MIND is Ned's Atomic Dustbin. I imagine only alternative music CORRESPONDENT @octophone might like or have any time for them on Moopy - personally I've not explored them too far, but I've probably EXHAUSTED my exploration of the Britpop era bands by now & I'm looking further back to the 80s & early 90s alternative scene. Carter USM were a band I remembered as mainly releasing indie DIRGES, but what I've listened to so far has been more interesting & eclectic than that, with a Morrissey-esque taste in cynical & bitterly humourous lyrics. I will say that they are a very British band though, & I don't think would TRANSLATE WELL overseas.

Speaking of RACIST OLD MOZZA & pals, that is a cover of "Panic" by The Smiths on the B side & it's given a punkier kick up the arse & some real BILE on the delivery of the lyrics, making it an excellent & less PROBLEMATIQUE THESE DAYS alternative to the original. Meanwhile the A side has a much DANCIER influence than I remember, with the throbbing synths bringing to mind late 70s Donna Summer, of all people. The sarky lyrics of life in a grim small town along with the title are a clear parody of "The Only Living Boy In New York" by Simon & Garfunkel, & again showcases a band with a sense of humour despite my memory of them as being miserable old CURMUDGEONS.

This single was their only top 10 hit, & the accompanying album reaching Number 1 shortly after saw them reach a brief peak of fame. Unlike contemporaries Blur & Pulp though, they didn't evolve & prosper as Britpop hit the mainstream - they seemed to be similar to EMF with the perception as being of an EARLIER TIME. 1994 single "Glam Rock Cops" felt like a hit to me, but the timing was wrong - it was released in February 1994, before Blur, Elastica & the likes really took off. It just missed the top 20 & the hits got smaller until they released their last album in 1998. Solo projects have ABOUNDED since along with the occasional LIVE REUNION, but as the Spotify followers attest to, they seem to be forgotten these days. A shame because they had a genuinely decent eye for a tune, a biting lyric & a sense of humour.

I'll end by throwing out a recommendation to album track "A Prince In A Pauper's Grave" which starts off sounding a bit like FAGIN OFF OLIVER TWIST singing a funeral lament, then builds into something genuinely epic & affecting. Carter USM at their best:

 
I have that single but on CD. I saw Carter live in 1991 and it was absolutely insane - the entire Barrowlands was one big moshpit. Jimbob's lyrics were awash with puns and references which, have of course, aged and render their music somewhat oblique to today's audience - such was the extent of the punning that they were accused of making light of some of the darker topics they covered which was, of course, nonsense. I don't reach for them often, I must say - they were absolutely of their time. There is no shame in that.
 
The Simpsons featuring Bart & Homer - Deep, Deep Trouble (Dance Mix Edit b/w LP Edit) (1991)

UK chart peak - Number 7

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Astonishing, really, that The Simpsons became the 2nd cartoon group (after The Archies with "Sugar Sugar" in 1969) to reach Number 1 in early 1991 in the UK with "Do The Bartman" - chiefly because it had only been going for a couple of seasons & was shown EXCLUSIVELY on the fledgling Sky TV, so it wasn't getting huge viewing figures, especially as BOOTLE POVVOS like me didn't have the luxury of satellite television. I still remember my excitement when a schoolmate passed me on a video tape of some of the best episodes. It becoming a pop cultural PHENOMENON in the USA so quickly definitely spread over here, & things like the single releases & all the merchandise (I distinctly remember having all sorts of Bart themed stationery in 1991) enabled everyone to JOIN IN even if you couldn't see the show.

This follow up (both sides are virtually identical) is penned by Will Smith's ERSTWHILE MATE, DJ Jazzy Jeff, & its aping of then current musical trends & comedic lyrics shows that they actually LAVISHED some proper care & attention on the accompanying album, unlike a cheap cash-in like Jive Bunny. Getting in the likes of Jeff for this & WACKO to pen "Do The Bartman" also shows just how quickly celebs hitched themselves to The Simpsons bandwagon. These really were its golden days, & after a couple of hits, they didn't milk it any further AFAIK - wisely as The Simpsons as a musical act didn't have any real LONGEVITY.

"Deep, Deep Trouble" isn't as good as "Do The Bartman" but it's still a pretty decent effort & it isn't a lazy soundalike. It again centres on breakout star Bart & his antics as the main focus, back then he was everyone's RELATABLE FAVE - although personally these days I feel more like a cross between MARTIN PRINCE & HANS MOLEMAN.

Some discussion around The Simpsons came up a few weeks ago in Funky's thread as "Do The Bartman" wasn't released as a single in the USA, I think @lolly mentioned it as a good decision as it shifted more copies of the album, but bizarrely, this one WAS released there, peaking in the lower reaches of the top 100, so GOD KNOWS what the thought process was behind this release schedule. Maybe @alla can provide us with some HOT CHART KNOWLEDGE.

The Simpsons is still going of course, now one of the longest running programmes in history. The GLORY YEARS are long gone, but if anyone can think of a good way to end the show, ANSWERS ON A POSTCARD PLEASE.
 
Also :D at THIS showing up in the pile. It still works too! Oh the days of using some cheap white plastic vinyl to advertise CATALOGUE CHRISTMAS WARES :disco:

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Some discussion around The Simpsons came up a few weeks ago in Funky's thread as "Do The Bartman" wasn't released as a single in the USA, I think @lolly mentioned it as a good decision as it shifted more copies of the album, but bizarrely, this one WAS released there, peaking in the lower reaches of the top 100, so GOD KNOWS what the thought process was behind this release schedule. Maybe @alla can provide us with some HOT CHART KNOWLEDGE.

I'd assume that as this was released early in the following year, they figured that the album had sold pretty much all it was going to the preceding Christmas, so releasing this as a single wouldn't cannibalise sales in the way that releasing Do The Bartman would have.
 
I'd assume that as this was released early in the following year, they figured that the album had sold pretty much all it was going to the preceding Christmas, so releasing this as a single wouldn't cannibalise sales in the way that releasing Do The Bartman would have.
Exactly this is what I was gonna say. I have no idea what they were thinking, but it sounds like "oh whatever, we sold zillions of albums already, let's release this single and we'll see what happens". Nothing actually happened.
 
Six foot six and a HUNDRED TONS
The UNDISPUTED KING OF THE SLUMS
With more aliases than KLAUS BARBIE
THE MASTER BUTCHER of LEIGH-ON-SEA
 
I remember liking Carter USM but I probably haven’t listened to anything of theirs in the last 30 years. 101 Damnations is an excellent title for an album.
 
Toto Coelo - I Eat Cannibals (Part 1 b/w Part 2) (1982)

UK chart peak - Number 8

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A drag queen DJ in a Liverpool pub once refused to play this beyond the first 30 seconds, DECRYING it as a load of OLD SHITE. Well, they were wrong & SO ARE THE REST OF YOU.

Toto Coelo were the proto-Spice Girls (STOP LAUGHING & COME BACK). All the ingredients are there - a flamboyant style, crazy mismatched colourful outfits, singing & dance routines that seem ENDEARINGLY AMATEUR but are also easily replicable in the school playground, a debut single that introduces the band & has a novelty aspect to it. It's just not been refined & given that 90s SHEEN yet. I couldn't find out much about the girls themselves, other than one member, Ros, is the daughter of the host of the SEMINAL 80s quiz show "Blockbusters", Bob Holness (remember when he died & people posted "I'll have an RIP please Bob" on social media & everyone in the UK went :basil: ).

Also between the lyrics to this & the fab but flop followup "Dracula's Tango" I thought for the longest time that they were a vocal group for some sort of vampire themed musical like "Dracula Spectacula" - but in reality it's just a new wave influenced BOP penned by solo 70s star Barry Blue, who'd moved into more BEHIND THE SCENES stuff at this point.

People either totally get this song or think it's ATROCIOUS. I'm in the former camp. I love the relentless driving disco inflected beat, I love the new wave influence & the silly lyrics are SINGALONG FUN. It's not intended to be taken that seriously & it never is. I'd not heard Part 2 before, but it's essentially just the song extended out with more instrumental & WEIRD GROWLY BITS.

For a one off novelty, there seems to have been a fair amount of discussion over the years regarding what the song is all about. There's a few competing theories, with the most popular appearing to be that it's about GOBBLING ON A NICE JIZZY COCK.

Unfortunately, despite second single "Dracula's Tango" bring equally :disco: & catchy it missed the top 40, & another :disco: single, the Bananarama-esque "Milk From The Coconut" only saw success in South Africa before they disappeared into obscurity. Astonishingly there is a GREATEST HITS available & I am tempted to INDULGE :D A ROUND OF APPLAUSE from me for being fun, colourful & full of personality - never mind what the HATERS say.
 

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