Moopyvision 2000-2009: Round 8 - Greece, Finland, Israel & Azerbaijan RESULTS

Penelope said:
1st: Aysel & Arash - Always (228pts)
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Is there anything worse than when the songwriting talent doesn't realise they need to get off the stage? Well, maybe cot death. But nonetheless, pairing Azerbaijan's most fragrant hottie with your mate's balding dad who runs the local corner shop was very much a decision that satisfied nobody bar @Madison in 2009 (and probably a select few perverts into that sort of thing - I'M WATCHING YOU @ButterTart)

However, when it comes to the Eurovision Song Contest, you really can't keep a good banger well staged down, and heaven knows with this much Scandi songwriting sprinkled liberally throughout, this ended up as an absolute kerbstomping of a duel for the Azeri crown - to say nothing of the bronze medal this garnered in Moscow Globen on the big night. The Moopy denizens actually turned this into the most overwhelming win of any round when you all voted back in the dim and distant mists of early February, just about edging out the 204 point win Visionary Dream got for Georgia in the round before. Still, in a contest of rock vs souk-flavoured Scandipop, I don't imagine that came as much surprise to anyone. Through to the semifinals go the bride and the father of the bride, arseshaking routine and all!



19 x 12 (Literally everyone who wasn't @Eyes)
1 x 0 (@Eyes)
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My younger brother messaged me that night to say that ‘Azerbaijan were fit’ and I knew then and there they would win
 
:disco:

A landslide. I have doubtless said this many times before, but 'Always' is one of my favourite Eurovision entries of all time.
 
We start off with FINLAND. Can anybody validate my parking. Also Mrs Lordi's. Nobody else's though they're all terrible

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2000: Nina Åström - A Little Bit
2002: Laura Voutilainen - Addicted To You
2004: Jari Silanpää - Takes 2 To Tango
2005: Geir Ronning - Why?
2006: Lordi - Hard Rock Hallelujah
2007: Hanna Pakarinen - Leave Me Alone
2008: Teräsbetoni - Missä miehet ratsastaa
2009: Waldo's People - Lose Control
 
8th: Jari Sillanpäa - 2 To Tango (32pts)
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God - isn’t this just the worst thing RobotBoy’s ever done?

Okay, I must confess a sneaking affection for this utter pigshit (it got my 6 and was the focus of lightly mesmered teenage affections for the little snatches of semi-final stuff a 12 year old Pen with a dial-up modem could get his hands on, along with everlasting piece of art My Galileo :disco:). This opened the slog of a 22-song mass semi-final in 2004, after Finland returned from relegation in 2003, only to flub out in 14th and miss the grand parade on the Saturday in Istanbul.

Competing with other oddly Latin-tinged fluff from the likes of Denmark probably didn’t help (tango is ODDLY BIG in Finland to the point of being something of a national mania, for reasons entirely beyond me), but this has the tinge of something that probably wouldn’t have made it in the two semi era either, what with it being fairly limp fare and a pretty autoqualifier-heavy top 10 that year.

Anyway, Jari went on to be arrested a decade after this for possession of crystal meth and child abuse imagery, which probably wasn’t the meaning of taking 2 to tango anyone else had in mind. A consultation of the old Instas suggests time hasn’t been particularly kind either! (I'll leave it to one of you to provide the NECESSARY UPDATES)

NEXT!



1 x 8 (@Kevin7)
7 x 0 (@ZenGiraffe, @D5K, @Ill Advised, @Marina Salty, @ButterTart, @Pingu, @Suomi)
 
6th: Nina Åström - A Little Bit (44pts)
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An utterly dull but controversial one here. This completely unremarkable bit of acoustic toss, fronted by an evangelical Christian Finlandssvensk (member of Finland’s Swedish-speaking minority), trotted out to Stockholm to finish in a shrug of an 18th place with 18 points, getting them relegated from the 2001 contest in Copenhagen.

What it’s far more interesting for is what it beat: one of the all-time great ‘what if?’s in Nightwish - yes, THAT Nightwish - and their entry to the Finnish selection that year, which won the televote with double the vote of its nearest contender, but lost out thanks to the jurors (Käärijä moans, but Finland started it!!) who summarily daisycuttered it with last place finishes across the board, meaning dull old Nina with her pitch to the nation’s Christians and Swedish speakers strolled over the finish line and won the ticket. God knows if Nightwish could’ve won in Stockholm, but given the Finns hadn’t ever managed to finish in the top 5 once before Lordi, you have a feeling this probably could’ve managed to break that duck at least.



1 x 6 (@win_the_game)
3 x 0 (@Eyes, @Soldi, @Penelope)
 
Nightwish would have won by being so good that every single country awarded it 13 points out of sheer appreciation.
 
5th: Teräsbetoni - Missä miehet ratsastaa (76pts)
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Pretty run of the mill one here. Having won the contest in style by finally leaning into a clear national niche and export, and repeating the trick to get a respectable result on home soil, the Finnish public gave a bit of a shrug and decided the third time was the charm.

Not much to mark this one out otherwise. Being an obvious shot of life in the semis managed to get it through to the big show on Saturday in Belgrade, but once there it ended up lining the bottom five come the business end of things. I recall @Madison as being relatively fond (although I can’t remember whether he was here or not at the time this first ran, so he escapes my anger for not voting)



1 x 10 (@Eyes)
4 x 0 (@Jacques, @auretz, @Diddy, @Kevin7)
 
Oh we'll be taking a BRIEF BREAK after Finland while I make my dinner, just to give prior warning (also so more of you bastards can TURN UP for Greece)
 
4th: Laura Voutilainen - Addicted To You (101pts)
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God this is just DREADFUL :D I don’t know which part I find funnier - that this limp bit of turn-of-the-century funk-disco got funded to the gods by the record label that was convinced it had a genuine Eurovision winner on its hands, or the genuine ROAR OF RAPTURE it gets at the end from even an admittedly friendly audience in Tallinn. You’d think they’d just watched Fuego!

Anyway it came 20th and got Finland relegated again :disco:



1 x 12 (@win_the_game - you UTTER PERVERT :D)
1 x 1 (@Kratz)
 
Speaking of Finnish National Final results, would've loved for Finland to have gone for this CHEAP AND DATED BUT FAB schlager tune from thks queen who wandered off from a hen night in 2004 :disco:


She actually won the televoting in her semi (Jari won the other semi) but come the Final the cruel jury barred her from making the Super Final (a big 0! :angry: ) and essentially ensured Jari won. :(
 
Bless, I want to like Addicted To You but it really is giving Anastacia B-side.

Fun fact: it beat this, which despite being performed by a total charisma vacuum later became a modest hit for Charlotte Perrelli.

 
I can reveal that it’s a THREE-WAY RACE for first, with the top three divided by a mere TWELVE POINTS :o
 
3rd: Waldo’s People - Lose Control (184pts)
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God, what a BREATHTAKING load of old pigshit :D 😍 :disco: :disco: :disco: For my money, toss like this being in the C-tier of that gold-studded 2009 line-up is exactly what made that a total YEAR FROM THE GODS.

Anyway. This gay-straight alliance multicar pileup of an entry, replete with yells out of time throughout from one of the female vocalists, saw a witness protection @VoR teamed up with Kelly Llorenna and Lili och Susie and the most lifeless fire poi ever seen on the Eurovision stage, doing their absolute [write some % of effort here but not too much] to get some life (EDITOR: please check this is true) out of the crowd in Moscow Stockholm with what was certifiably a total fucking banger. It managed to qualify from 12th place in its semi as a jury save (!!!!!!!!!!!!), but needless to say, it failed utterly miserably in the final and you know damn well none of them have spoken to one another since :disco:



6 x 12 (@Penelope, @Ill Advised, @D5K, @Kratz, @Music, @Kevin7)
4 x 6 (@Suomi, @Marina Salty, @Eyes, @dmlaw)
 
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