Conservative leadership race (post May)

[GinAg (39)]

Obviously no-one know when this will happen, however when it does they're likely (said tentatively) to be our next PM.

The RADIANT Esther McVey has thrown her hat into the ring today.

 

[Indie]

It'll probably be Javid.

 

[GinAg (39)]

It'll probably be Javid.

Obvs up for a PM of colour, but why must it be the FUCKING TORIES.

 

[Shirley]

I'm not being RACIST but I don't rate him

If only Rory Stewart wasn't so PECULIAR

 

[GinAg (39)]

I met a lady a WHILE BACK who worked for Javid and said he's a DECENT GUY.

I tended to believe her as she was REALLY QUITE CRITICAL of other government ministers.

But then I'm sure Boris can be described as DECENT depending on your disposition.

 

[octophone]

I don't rate Javid either but he's the compromise choice, in much the same way that John Major was back in 1990.

 

[GinAg (39)]

My money's on RAAB.

 

[Shirley]

Mine's on PRITI PATEL

NOT REALLY

 

[GinAg (39)]

Mine's on PRITI PATEL

NOT REALLY

The biggest shock wouldn't be an ASIAN WOMEN but a PM from Essex.

 

[octophone]

My money's on RAAB.

Nah. Made himself look too big a tit over the whole "oooh, Dover! Ferries! Turns out that's a thing right enough" cobblers.

 

[GinAg (39)]

I'm just noticed she's FELLOW ALUMNI.

 

[octophone]

I'm not saying that Priti Patel has murdered someone and buried the body in her garden but if it turns out that Priti Patel has murdered someone and buried the body in her garden, I get £100 from Ladbrokes.

 

[Kate]

Well Sajid Javid pretty much murdered Shamima Begum's baby.

 

[octophone]

Well Sajid Javid pretty much murdered Shamima Begum's baby.

The Parliamentary Tory Party will love him for that tho'. For many of them, it was their last erection.

 

[big ron]

They should dig up and reanimate HITLER. That'll put the cat amongst 'em

 

[Rita]

They should dig up and reanimate HITLER. That'll put the cat amongst 'em

Or Thatcher. Not much difference I suppose.

 

[Shirley]

ODDS ME UP KENNETH

7/2 B JOHNSON
11/2 D RAAB
15/2 M GOVE
10/1 J HUNT
14/1 R STEWART
18/1 S JAVID
18/1 M HANCOCK
20/1 P MORDAUNT
20/1 MOTHER LEADSOM
33/1 A RUDD
33/1 J CLEVERLY
40/1 P PATEL
40/1 T TUGENDHAT
40/1 RE-SMOG
40/1 SPREADSHEET PHIL
50/1 D-LIDZ
50/1 G COX
66/1 EVIL MCVEY
66/1 DD
66/1 THE TRUSS
256/1 SUELLA
949/1 N DORRIES

 

[Shirley]

Javid not that popular with the PUNTERS then

 

[Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

I'm struggling to see anybody past Raab really. He is - of course - 100% evil in every way, but visually he is by far the least worst, and he's certainly the most relatable for the average Tory voter + he's a leaver. I'm sure they will be wanting to push a smart-looking, everyman candidate without the baggage of most of the party to try and undo some of May's damage.

Who would be the least-worst option who is vaguely viable as a candidate from this shower of shit? Amber Rudd?

 

[Indie]

ODDS ME UP KENNETH

7/2 B JOHNSON
11/2 D RAAB
15/2 M GOVE
10/1 J HUNT
14/1 R STEWART
18/1 S JAVID
18/1 M HANCOCK
20/1 P MORDAUNT
20/1 MOTHER LEADSOM
33/1 A RUDD
33/1 J CLEVERLY
40/1 P PATEL
40/1 T TUGENDHAT
40/1 RE-SMOG
40/1 SPREADSHEET PHIL
50/1 D-LIDZ
50/1 G COX
66/1 EVIL MCVEY
66/1 DD
66/1 THE TRUSS
256/1 SUELLA
949/1 N DORRIES

Chris grayling - 1,000,000/1

 

[Slave]

She’s not going to BUDGE.

Most of these names will have died long before she vacates in 2079.

 

[Indie]

Javid not that popular with the PUNTERS then

It's rarely the favourites anyway. Things will change massively as candidates throw their hats in.

 

[octophone]

I can't even read Gove's name now without thinking about Frankie Boyle's comment: "it's only his glasses that stop his face being classed as genitalia".

 

[Sheena]

at SUELLA even making that odds list

 

[Sheena]

I'm half tempted to put cash on Mordaunt. She's a SLY FUCKER and no mistake.

 

[Iguana]

ODDS ME UP KENNETH

7/2 B JOHNSON
11/2 D RAAB
15/2 M GOVE
10/1 J HUNT
14/1 R STEWART
18/1 S JAVID
18/1 M HANCOCK
20/1 P MORDAUNT
20/1 MOTHER LEADSOM
33/1 A RUDD
33/1 J CLEVERLY
40/1 P PATEL
40/1 T TUGENDHAT
40/1 RE-SMOG
40/1 SPREADSHEET PHIL
50/1 D-LIDZ
50/1 G COX
66/1 EVIL MCVEY
66/1 DD
66/1 THE TRUSS
256/1 SUELLA
949/1 N DORRIES

Living for the nicknames. Mother Leadsom INDEED

 

[octophone]

A ripple of applause for "RE-SMOG" while we're here too.

 

[Jark]

I know she's moderate but I really don't understand why Nicky Morgan is not a bigger name in the Conservative party. She talks a lot of sense and would help them rebrand as a less self serving bunch of aristocratic cunts.

 

[Shirley]

at SUELLA even making that odds list

I had to look a LONG WAY DOWN IT to find her

 

[Sheena]

I had to look a LONG WAY DOWN IT to find her

She never did reply to my LUNCH DATE either.

 

[Kate]

I might stick a fiver on the TRUSS for a laugh

 

[GinAg (39)]

Well this is going to be grotesque. Who will be our 4th PM in 10 years? A cunt.

 

[GinAg (39)]

GOOD NEWS EVERY ONE

 

[Penelope]

Javid is literally a sociopath. His personal hero is fucking AYN RAND!

It's looking likely it might be Boris though. He's getting support from MPs who would've said about a year ago that they'd have thrown themselves in front of a bus to stop him being PM, on the basis that they think it's an emergency and only he can save them.

 

[Zu]

AYN RAND

Someone once gave me that disgusting book of hers, saying that it was an amazing GUIDE TO LIFE. Naturally it was rapidly ripped in half and binned

 

[Penelope]

It is not a book to be tossed aside lightly. It must be THROWN WITH GREAT FORCE

 

[Zu]

TBH I am half if not entirely insane as a result of the last three years and if fucking Boris gets chosen, that will be the end of me. I might just stop paying any attention whatsoever to politics. Seriously, fuck it. Messages are rarely consistent and are frankly bewildering. I hardly ever thought about it back in the day and was much happier, not to mention more STABLE

 

[octophone]

They can't go for Boris, surely? He's tainted by that fucking bus. The fact that he looks like a cauliflower with Down's Syndrome is about the nicest thing I could find to say about him.

 

[Broomhelga]

I'd go for Raab. Boris could have walked it three years ago. He doesn't deserve it now.

 

[SDF]

Kim Woodburn is about the only sensible option