Eurovision 2022: Semi Final ONE (20:00 BST)

[Beverley]

I liked Croatia.

 

[Beverley]

But some of this semi final is struggle bus

 

[GinAg (39)]

Mr Star (big Swifter) says he's suprised there's not a law suit against this!

Divorce him.

 

[Star]

I liked Croatia.

How's the vibe out there bbz?

 

[straightorbroken]

Oh just send Infernal already Denmark.

 

[Haiku Rewrites]

Ellie Goulding's looking rough these days

 

[ButterTart]

Why is Rebel Wilson cosplaying Jo Wiley on my TV screen please

 

[ManicKangaroo]

She looks like a cross between Kelly Osbourne and Colleen Nolan

 

[dmlaw]

Making the first minute and a half of Denmark really tedious was a bold decision. Particularly when the rest isn’t really all that either.

 

[GinAg (39)]

Denmark really are the IKEA of Eurovision. EVERY YEAR.

 

[win_the_game]

This lot are obviously terrible human beings.

 

[straightorbroken]

Like Kelly Osborne the day before Rehab.

 

[Haiku Rewrites]

She looks like a cross between Kelly Osbourne and Colleen Nolan

so... hatefulness incarnated

 

[lolly]

Who hurt you, Denmark?

 

[dmlaw]

It’s like if they did a musical version of Mumsnet.

 

[GNL]

Denmark are giving art school.

 

[straightorbroken]

This is actually a surprise from Denmark!

 

[straightorbroken]

Brian May looks younger every year. Or should I say month

 

[GNL]

Who hurt you, Denmark?

She stood on a Lego

 

[RaspberrySwirl]

Terrible song, shitty looks

 

[Nancy]

They like their open mouths.

 

[Haiku Rewrites]

can't believe they passed on that Rave song for this budget rehash of Blue Deacon

 

[ButterTart]

The staging has been really poor across the board so far.

 

[PercyPig]

It’s a bit Miley Cyrus early era

 

[straightorbroken]

1,2,3,4. Well they know their scores.

 

[GinAg (39)]

can't believe they passed on that Rave song for this budget rehash of Blue Deacon

The woman from Deacon Blue to sue.

 

[Lucille]

Not a fan of Denmark but this is solid and better than most tonight.

 

[straightorbroken]

Serving some casual-wear Barry Manilow.

 

[dmlaw]

I suddenly really miss the 1991 contest, where the hosts refused to speak in English.

 

[GinAg (39)]

Giving me full animal from the Muppets vibes, that drummer.

 

[straightorbroken]

Did Mike ever come out?

 

[Nancy]

He looks like he's got a long strip of toilet paper hanging around his neck.

 

[lolly]

WE ARE BORED, Mika

 

[GNL]

Denmark have real CRINGE energy but I actually think they were a standout.

 

[Haiku Rewrites]

Monika making that most of the green room camera

 

[Ellie]

 

[GNL]

"Kelly Osbourne vibes"

 

[RaspberrySwirl]

Why is this Mika speaking as if to children

 

[ButterTart]

Accidental cutaway to Mika’s CBeebies audition there. Rejected for being too patronising and insincere to appeal to four year olds.

 

[GinAg (39)]

Monika making that most of the green room camera

She loves herself so much and I don't blame her.