Moopyvision 2010-2019 Round 13: Bosnia & Herzegovina, Montenegro, Slovakia & Turkey

I think VoR giving us the results tonight is the only thing that will diffuse the ongoing tension of EUROVISION REWATCH
 
Right, let's try administering some CPR to this dead horse, shall we?

Bosnia & Herzegovina

4th: Vukašin Brajić - Thunder & Lightning (72pts)

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In the years when they were regular competitors, before their entire country got sold off for dog meat, Bosnia and/or Herzegovina's dysfunctional blend of ethnic Serbs, Croats and general displaced former Yugoslav miscellany, combined with a sizeable diaspora of young Bosniaks understandably upping sticks and getting out of dodge at the first opportunity, gave them one of the strongest built-in voter bases in Europe. See, even ethnic cleansing has its up sides!

This of course meant that in Eurovision terms they could generally expect to qualify with any old guff, and indeed they maintained a perfect record in the modern era right up until their exit in 2013. Thunder & Lightning is probably the most egregious example of this, although Europe's bewildering love affair with denim-clad cock rock cannot be discounted from the equation either.

Either way, there's something about Vukašin Brajić that doesn't sit well with me, and it's not just the fact that he has a penis. The smarm to authenticity ratio is particularly noxious - it's like watching a low-grade soap star mugging his way through a (much) lesser Bon Jovi hit on some God Forsaken reality show or Children In Need bit. Imagine sitting through a whole concert of this! You'd be scraping the floor for an unexploded landmine to throw yourself on!

That is, unless you're a possibly overcompensating Moopy heterosexual, if this round's results are anything to go by. Come on lads. Taste is subjective, but this is starting to feel about as convincing as the Michael Jackson/Lisa Marie Presley union...

4 x 12 (dmlaw, Buttertart, David_5000, Alla)
11 x 0 (VoR, sewerynsven, Soldi, Kevin, Penelope, Kevin7, Dark Carnival, Win_The_Game, Pingu, Superstylin', Ill Advised)
 
Let's not pretend that any of the Bosnian entries were remotely tolerable. It was just marginally better than a load of old toot.
 
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3rd: Maya Sar - Korake Ti Znam (112pts)

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A very classy entry from Dino Merlin's former drunken keyboard player/yodeller, now rehabilitated one year later as a stately balladeer. This is all very nice and professional, but really what on earth else is there to say about it? The 2012 Contest was an absolute pileup of these Balkan ballads, with similarly glacial fare coming out of Croatia, Slovenia and Serbia to wildly varying degrees of success, of which this landed more or less in the middle.

I'm sure it's very heartfelt, but then for all we know she was singing about how much she enjoys skinning puppies, so who's to say really?

4 x 12 (Soldi, Tischlampe, Win The Game, Ill Advised)
3 x 0 (Madison, Jacques, David_5000)
 
I’ve always really liked this one skinned puppies or not.
 
I don't think we can really do toxic masculinity properly. We're too lovable.
 
See you scared off VoR with your toxic masculinity, SHAME ON YOU
 
2nd: Dino Merlin - Love In Rewind (128pts)

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Moopers, you surprise me. In a fairly unexciting field, I thought this was pretty obviously the best of the bunch.

Dino (pictured, 23) is one of Bosnia's most decorated alive composers, having even written the country's national anthem. Now admittedly, it's just three minutes of agonised screaming accompanied by a chorus of muffled gunshot sounds, but imagine the mass funeral royalties!

All horrible jokes aside, I find this to be quite the delicately lovely thing, and legitimately well-written too. Something about the melancholy delivery of I don't know where to run from reality... gets me every time. It's arguably one of the most thoughtful Eurovision songs of the decade from any country.

I guess the am-dram staging can't have helped much. But still, given how inessential what followed was, this would have been a gorgeously bittersweet send-off to one of Eurovision's most likable underdog nations.

6 x 12 (VoR, Pingu, sewerynsven, Kevin, Kevin7, Superstylin')
4 x 0 (wurst, dmlaw, Buttertart, Tischlampe)

1st: Dalal & Deen feat. Ana Rucner & Jala - Ljubav je (144pts)

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Four years after national broadcaster bankruptcy brought their Eurovision journey to an abrupt halt, the Bosnians managed to scrape together enough corporate sponsorship for this entirely unnecessary epilogue. Playing as a sort of leather-clad cosplay of the tragic history they'd been wrestling with since their very first entry back in 1993, not even a rather out of nowhere rap break could disguise that this was a fairly tired spin on the old format.

Perhaps the most notable element of this entry is the dramatic transformation of former cutie of the evening Deen, best encapsulated by @Beverley during last night's... whatever that was, as a visual allegory for the tragedy of fleeting Gay Youth.

For the first time ever, the Bosnians had to leave the Contest early. They've not been seen since, and by most accounts they're not likely to be back for quite some time. Very sad.

5 x 12 (Jacques, Madison, wurst, Dark Carnival, Penelope)
1 x 0 (Alla)
 
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