My top 32 favourite Real Housewives of ALL TIME: room for MORE?
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Cerro de Casa
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I've always been team Kenya. Now TWIRL on this and don't come for me unless I SEND for you!
I APPRECIATE that Kenya is a gold star Housewife, but like Will I’ve always found I was rooting for the other side in a lot of her feuds 
I always feel she comes in HOT at every perceived slight and it often feels a bit nasty - the way she went after Kim Fields in Season 8, I mean
Her teaming up with Nene to take down Kim Z in the Season 10 reunion though
“MY DREAM TEAM!”
And I agree if they could have capitalised on that it would have breathed new life into the franchise, especially for these lacklustre last few seasons.
I always feel she comes in HOT at every perceived slight and it often feels a bit nasty - the way she went after Kim Fields in Season 8, I mean Her teaming up with Nene to take down Kim Z in the Season 10 reunion though
“MY DREAM TEAM!”
And I agree if they could have capitalised on that it would have breathed new life into the franchise, especially for these lacklustre last few seasons.
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S
Screenshotting this post for future blackmail.
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That was AWFUL from Marlo. But I do think Kenya's backstory, and the psychology around it, is one of the most interesting of all Housewives.
You can actively see how her mother abandoning her has affected her ENTIRE LIFE - especially in her relationships with the cast, and the TERRIBLE TERRIBLE men she settles for over and over and over again.
Love her or hate her, Kenya's been a fascinating addition since day 1.
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For the majority of her tenure, I've not been a fan of Kenya at all. I think it's perhaps because she always seemed to be going after my fave in any given season (mostly Phaedra, up until she left), and she always managed to take it that little bit too far for the sake of causing drama TV.
But then that's probably also why I've come round to her recently. The realisation that she's been essential to the show all this time. And I do look back over her reign (or attempted reign, if you asked any of her castmates) a hell of a lot more fondly now. I think in that sense, she's always been one step ahead of the viewer, and continues to be so today. In this season for example, as it was unfolding, I was very put off by her interrogating the other women about what happened on Cynthia's bachelorette party. But a few episodes later - thank fuck she did, as what else would we have been watching? She's not just a castmate, she's an unappointed producer. And clearly a screenwriter for the next few episodes while she's filming each one.
As ever BEAUTIFULLY written!
And essentially an extension of what I was hinting at when I said Kenya treats Housewives as her own extended biopic. Has any other cast member ever been so SUCCESSFUL at producing themselves (and everybody around them) on screen? Vanderpump, Tamra and possibly Bethenny are the only ones that spring to mind.
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I think I might do Atlanta after I finish New York
It's an ESSENTIAL! And certainly shares the certain camp CHARM also found in New York & Melbourne due to the eccentricities of the cast.
If you focus mainly on Nene, Kim & Sheree - seasons 1-3 are INCREDIBLE
Season 4 suffers from the OG's checking out a bit, and being overlong, but it's still great and introduces Marlo and has Phaedra getting settled.
Season 5 is possibly the show's BEST SEASON and is of course the arrival of Hurricane Kenya.
Seasons 6 - 8 are again great (especially 6) but suffer slightly from being over-long.
Season 9 is also possibly the best season, and has probably my favourite cast of all.
Season 10 had an amazing reunion, and the seasons after that certainly happened.
I'd LOVE Bravo to do an Atlanta re-edit and cut the flabby running length of seasons 4-9 down a bit to make them ALL KILLER.
In particular I could do without most of KANDI's family dramas that clog up a lot of the filler content.
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Awwww <3
Suomi
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I have been in contact with Angela Stone and she says that I can only buy a copy of Being Real on off form from her website, and they don’t know if they’ll be doing another series. I’m shaking you guys, I’ve been communicating with a goddessI have just finished watching Auckland and to say I inhaled every moment of it with wild glee and abandon would be an understatement! I feel a complete spiritual kinship with these mad Oceanic mavens... everyone apart from the hideous racist is sublime, in an entirely different yet complimentary way. You've already said so much on Gilda, Angela and Michelle. And I do love crazy champagne lady Anne and her poetic totems for her dead pussies... (my beautiful black boy Nudger!!).
But I'd love to shout out, spotlight, and wax rhapsodic about LOUISE WALLACE. The most perfect blend of vulnerability and razor sharp no-fucks given I've encountered.
The fact that she started her own theatre company to get acting roles, and that she then gets rejected by the one NZ filming drama that year so publicly on-screen. "I think the roles for women in their 50s, they want a more weathered looking face...". Why did her moronic agent call her in to the office late in the day, on camera, to tell her they went with someone else?! Poor Lou. I looked her up on insta and her bio says 'actress' and @s her agency. The agency seems to rep everyone in NZ by their insta feed, yet not a single shout out for poor Louise amongst their daily posts... (i went back 3 years). The indignity.
Also the segment of her getting her hideous head shots as well. She was styled like the CEO of Findus Crispy Pancakes about to go on the Secret Millionaire.
I also loved her weeping for Angela's absentee brother, and then trashing her boring book launch. "After an hour and a half we were ushered into another room, that looked absolutely the same to the previous room, and that's when I knew the night was definitively a dud".
And her competitive streak at the race course. It meant SO much to her to win that race.
She was also the best talking head throughout... "For Julia it will be one of the big learning moments in her life..." SAGE QUEEN. I also liked her arched eyebrows at Julia on the boat in the instant aftermath of racist-gate. And forgetting to get Michelle a present at her bday party only to say "I'll take you for lunch at a restaurant of your choice in Auckland..." - which truly, would be the best present one could receive from New Zealand's Anne Robinson?!
I live for her. I've been stalking them on insta and apparently they all reunited for a Bravo NZ special THIS MONTH, sans Julia! So the possibility of a S2, four years on, isn't completely off the cards? I'd die.
I’m heading to Christchurch soon so I should look Ange up for a vino and a lesson in HOLY MOSES how to be real
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It's COMING! I meant to write it last week but life got IN THE WAY.
As a stop-gap, here's a few things I missed out of my write ups of some of the past few DELICIOUS DOLLS:
Danielle Staub: I glossed over a lot of the COMEBACK, mainly to save my own sanity - but I do feel I should have mentioned the BIZARRE MOMENT at the season 8 reunion where it's revealed Danielle had sex in the bathroom at the Gorga Pizza Restaurant opening?? (It's the scene where Siggy refused to speak to Marge SNR.)
It's discussed in literally about a minute and totally passed over by the cast - probably as they were trying to establish Danielle again in the show. They don't reveal if it's Marty Danielle had sex with or somebody else
and it's quite funny that Atlanta have just had a dominant storyline of their past season around something similar, yet this didn't even make it to AIR in New Jersey Also a shout out to when Danielle ASCENDS FROM THE RAFTERS during her roaring 20's inspired Bachelorette Party
I need a gif of that CHRIST-LIKE moment Karen Huger Moopy didn't seem too bothered about LA DAME!
You queens need to get into Potomac ASAP!Phaedra Parks Still gagged that I was so fixated on the PICKLE PHOTOSHOOT that I absentmindedly forgot to mention Phaedra Parks' ever moving and mysterious due date of her baby
I think she holds the world record for giving birth to a perfectly healthy baby at just 5 months in! Also gross that she literally let Bravo film the ENTIRE THING too! Kenya Moore I forgot to mention how much Andy Cohen clearly HATES KENYA, and shows a bias against her at reunions you rarely see with other Housewives (not including the recent OC reunion). That he chose to basically open the current season Atlanta reunion with "Hi Kenya, how much weight did YOU put on over lockdown" was really quite gross.
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Cerro de Casa
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Cynthia lives in the regentrification zone, which is you know, where they make the HOOD into the suburb? It's not for me, PERSONALLY.
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"Are they pant?"
02 - Lydia Schiavello - The Real Housewives of Melbourne
I save my best pot-stirring...FOR THE KITCHEN!
Do you remember when YOU became a little Lydiot?
For me it was actually quite early on. I was watching the season 1 reunion on my FIRST WATCH of Melbourne, and they played the infamous and truly iconic montage of Lydia saying "wow"
for most of series 1 Lydia had pretty much ENTIRELY passed me by, with her most notable moment probably being when she took her private jet to buy some CHEESE! But this bizarre mini-montage really cracked me up at the time, and made me wonder if I'd perhaps slightly overlooked an unintentional source of reality TV genius - perhaps so blinded by sheer, dazzling force of Gina Liano that I in fact couldn't SEE Lydia. As time told, it turns out I had.
Lydia may be NO TRADITIONAL HOUSEWIFE, and she's also not a traditional selection for the second best Real Housewife of all time but I really, truly cannot help but STAN.
As hinted above, it's really quite possible to almost entirely miss the point of Lydia on your first Melbourne watch, but the internet has revealed that I'm not alone in my love for this true one-of-a-kind in the Housewives universe. I'd even go as far as to say being a Lydia stan is a bit like being in a secret Housewives CLUB. She's like an easter-egg for the franchise fanbase.
Let's start with the most obvious aspect of Lydia's personality: Lydia is absolutely, completely and utterly unquestionably STUPID That may sound harsh, but honestly Lydia is BY FAR the most stupid person I have ever seen on reality TV.
You can actually, genuinely see her trying to construct sentences in her head before she says them in her confessionals. Frequently much of what she says makes absolutely no sense. It's something of a level I've honestly never seen before, especially not on a show focused around affluent women who are known for their WITTY BARBS.
To demonstrate the case in point :
Thankfully for us, once you notice this QUIRK of Lydia's personality it makes amazing TV. I can honestly say there is no other Housewife that makes me laugh as much as Lydia does. I'm at the point where I find almost every single Lydia scene quite hilarious, as she's SUCH a ridiculous human being. That she comes complete with the authentic Prue and Trude "posh" Melbourne accent just makes the whole Lydiot package even funnier for me.
If unfamiliar I absolutely URGE YOU to absorb this three minute video that really demonstrates who Lydia is as a Housewives character. It really never gets old for me:
"Two rights at times don't make...it's not necessarily right..."
This may all sound a bit MEAN, but Lydia's lack of intelligence really give her a unique USP on the show. It's what I call the Alyssa Edwards factor - where somebody is just naturally incredibly watchable on camera due to their own unique term of phrase and quirks of personality. We saw it recently with DRUK's Tayce too, and I'd total shuffle Lydia into the same school of reality TV thought.
She's absolutely one of the most quotable Housewives of all time as most of what comes out her mouth is absolute NONSENSE - but it's delivered in such a cat-that-got-the-cream affluent Melbourne woman way you may even second-guess YOURSELF for a millisecond
Lydia's lack of intelligence however doesn't mean JACK SHIT in terms of her standing in the world or personal wealth. I'd actually say (hilariously) Lydia is likely one of THE most affluent women across any Housewives franchise
She's absolutely minted money-wise. Lydia has a large degree of personal wealth too - from both her family and a TASTY DIVORCE PACKAGE from her first marriage, which means she isn't entirely dependent financially on her long-suffering current husband. In terms of social status she seems to be one of the most legit and actually engrained in whatever high-society is in Melbourne (or at least DID when the show was shot).
I'd ALSO say Lydia is one of the most naturally beautiful and sensual, of all Housewives. She has SERIOUS straight-man appeal as she's naturally quite a sexy/sexual woman. On top of ALL THIS she's incredibly stylish too Money obviously helps here, but Lydia rarely gets it wrong style-wise on the show (at least from season 2 onwards) and let's be real: that Italian bride outfit in season 3 was a total SHOOT!
Why is this relevant? This combination of status, wealth, beauty AND style I do think a genuine case for jealousy at times from her cast mates could be made here (particularly Jackie and Janet, not that they'd admit it) which helps simmer away underlying tension between the women on-screen to QUITE TASTY EFFECT.
Lydia has quite a BIZARRE trajectory on the show, but unlike a lot of Housewives - Lydia being front-and-centre of the show doesn't really matter in regards to her appeal.
In a nutshell:
Season 1: Snobby, friend of Andrea's, doesn't really do much of note and is very much supporting cast.
Season 2: Had backlash from being Andrea's friend on season 1 and completely RETREATS to the point Alex Perry calls her out at the reunion for doing nothing all season She has a notable poker game-scene with cricket legend Shane Warne where they have QUITE CLEAR sexual chemistry that sets the rumour mill on fire around Melbourne.
Season 3: Lydia rises like some sort of SITH LORD draped entirely in black to become the show's primary antagonist, and at multiple times feels like the show lead (!) Forms a hilarious alliance with Pettifleur that frequently crashes and burns within entire SCENES shot together, and eventually starts to realise Gina is interested in being a potential ally towards the end of the season. Honestly a tour-de-force of a Housewife performance, and an absolute home run for the show.
Season 4: Lydia settles to being Gina's lapdog, her storyline for the season is mainly trying to destroy Janet and Jackie's friendship
Lydia also attempts a different career for each of her seasons also
Season 1: Training to be an architect or interior designer - or BOTH. I don't think anybody took her seriously
Season 2: ART COLLECTOR/Charity event organiser
Season 3: BLOGGER! (who can forget the fabled blog-wars of Dubai )
Season 4: Cookery maven, with her home-cooking classes 'In Lydia's Kitchen' where she doesn't appear to cook ANYTHING herself, and sells plates that say 'Lydia Schiavello' on them as MERCH
The point I'm trying to make her is basically: Lydia is essentially a COMPLETELY pointless human being. She has no purpose, and literally spends her whole day gossiping about other women, and clearly often cannot remember half the shit that she's even SAID!
This of course comes to a delicious head on the show for the FLAWLESS season 3, which as mentioned above, is very much the LYDIA SEASON of Melbourne. She dominates in a way that she never really had previously, and the show is all the better for it.
The other women decide to attempt a Lydia takedown for various rumours she's apparently been spreading off-camera around Melbourne, one of which involves Chyka's husband and his SEXUALITY!
This takedown is essentially pointless however, as Lydia just does not GIVE A SHIT You cannot shame somebody that can't be shamed, and Lydia certainly has no interest.
Lydia angers the usually cool, calm and collected Chyka to the point that she EXPLODES in Dubai, but that storyline is swiftly resolved with a bottle of champagne - probably as Chyka didn't want the rumours on the show any more, and also possibly because Chyka didn't want to damage any real-life standing she has with Lydia/Lydia's social circle outside of the show.
Jackie (from NewCASTLE) however, does try to keep the Lydia takedown going right until the bitter end.
This cumulates in the hysterical season 3 end of season dinner, where Jackie once again tries to confront Lydia - only for Lydia to claim she has no recollection of what Jackie is saying as she possibly has predementia (!)
....which is the point I officially lose it laughing at these ridiculous women and this TV show
A Lydia write-up wouldn't be complete without mentioning her more PROBLEMATIC elements of her personality however, and I must mention them here.
Alongside calling Pettifleur "a real mongrel of a woman", Lydia brings her long-suffering housekeeper Joanna onto the show for season 3 and its...not a good look.
LOOK I must confess, some of the Joanna scenes I may have found amusing AT POINTS, as they are so close to an awkward Chris Lilley comedy sketch it's hard to believe they are real (and I'm sure I'm not the only one either ) But yeah, they are not ok and she was a FOOL for letting production film them. There's probably a larger conversation to be had about Melbourne Housewives and unintended racism (it's still RACISM) but to keep things light I'm not going to start it here
I need to wrap this up so I'm just going to rattle through some of her on-show "friendships" and rivalries:
PETTIFLEUR:
CLEARLY shoved together as a duo by production on season 3 to keep them both on the show, they are responsible for the iconic "Gamble? BITCH" scene in the first episode of season 3 where Lydia contemplates whether two wrongs really DO make a right. Every scene of them together is full of wildly fake chaotic energy, and by the end of the season Lydia can't even TRY to contain that she clearly absolutely DESPISES Pettifleur, resulting in one of the most iconic lines from Melbourne full stop:
We were ROBBED of another season of this wildly dysfunctional duo in season 4! R O B B E D!
GINA:
Despite Gina's season 1 claim that Lydia has a 'prostitute's mentality' and calling her a cunt multiple times in the toilet, if you watch the show back you'll notice Lydia is frequently the cast member Gina goes easiest on - and at points even seems to LIKE her? It takes Lydia until the end of season 3 to realise this, where they finally form and alliance and actually seem to become pretty good friends, a friendship that seems to somewhat remain to this day.
A moment of underrated Melbourne camp is Gina and Lydia causing MAYHEM at the fruit and veg market in season 4, and the show is going to be so much worse off for not having them part of the cast for season 5.
Defining moment of their friendship? The FINAL DINNER in season 4, where Lydia goes around the table and basically slags off every single cast member to THEIR FACE with her own self-penned poems, aside from Gina who she lavishes praise over
SUZY (who?):
The season 3 flop Housewife who claimed a long history with Lydia, only for Lydia to claim she barely knows her and couldn't remember going to Suzy's wedding
JACKIE:
I love Lydia's disdain for Jackie, who she CLEARLY sees as lower class and frequently mentions that she's from NewCASTLE as opposed to Melbourne
"She's a little troublemaker, her psychic vibes are so out of whack"
JANET:
The show's most underrated feud, and one that I desperately wished was being explored in season 5. I've mentioned it several times before but the season 4 reunion Lydia vs Janet "MADAME" fight is one of the show's best and NEEDS to be on YOUTUBE!
MR FIGARO
Lydia's fabulous DOG, and unofficial show mascot. Who could forget THAT painting reveal A dog so iconic he had got his own confessional scene!
and so I conclude my pondering on my second favourite Real Housewife of ALL TIME.
Favourite Lydia moments, quotes, gifs, outfits etc etc etc PLOISE!
And as we finally move towards the NUMBER ONE SPOT, I propose
LOVE YOU LYDIA YOU PROBLEMATIC IMBECILE!
NEXT!
02 - Lydia Schiavello - The Real Housewives of Melbourne
I save my best pot-stirring...FOR THE KITCHEN!
Do you remember when YOU became a little Lydiot?
For me it was actually quite early on. I was watching the season 1 reunion on my FIRST WATCH of Melbourne, and they played the infamous and truly iconic montage of Lydia saying "wow"
for most of series 1 Lydia had pretty much ENTIRELY passed me by, with her most notable moment probably being when she took her private jet to buy some CHEESE! But this bizarre mini-montage really cracked me up at the time, and made me wonder if I'd perhaps slightly overlooked an unintentional source of reality TV genius - perhaps so blinded by sheer, dazzling force of Gina Liano that I in fact couldn't SEE Lydia. As time told, it turns out I had.
Lydia may be NO TRADITIONAL HOUSEWIFE, and she's also not a traditional selection for the second best Real Housewife of all time
but I really, truly cannot help but STAN.As hinted above, it's really quite possible to almost entirely miss the point of Lydia on your first Melbourne watch, but the internet has revealed that I'm not alone in my love for this true one-of-a-kind in the Housewives universe. I'd even go as far as to say being a Lydia stan is a bit like being in a secret Housewives CLUB. She's like an easter-egg for the franchise fanbase.
Let's start with the most obvious aspect of Lydia's personality: Lydia is absolutely, completely and utterly unquestionably STUPID
That may sound harsh, but honestly Lydia is BY FAR the most stupid person I have ever seen on reality TV.You can actually, genuinely see her trying to construct sentences in her head before she says them in her confessionals. Frequently much of what she says makes absolutely no sense. It's something of a level I've honestly never seen before, especially not on a show focused around affluent women who are known for their WITTY BARBS.
To demonstrate the case in point :
Thankfully for us, once you notice this QUIRK of Lydia's personality it makes amazing TV. I can honestly say there is no other Housewife that makes me laugh as much as Lydia does. I'm at the point where I find almost every single Lydia scene quite hilarious, as she's SUCH a ridiculous human being. That she comes complete with the authentic Prue and Trude "posh" Melbourne accent just makes the whole Lydiot package even funnier for me.
If unfamiliar I absolutely URGE YOU to absorb this three minute video that really demonstrates who Lydia is as a Housewives character. It really never gets old for me:
"Two rights at times don't make...it's not necessarily right..."
This may all sound a bit MEAN, but Lydia's lack of intelligence really give her a unique USP on the show. It's what I call the Alyssa Edwards factor - where somebody is just naturally incredibly watchable on camera due to their own unique term of phrase and quirks of personality. We saw it recently with DRUK's Tayce too, and I'd total shuffle Lydia into the same school of reality TV thought.
She's absolutely one of the most quotable Housewives of all time as most of what comes out her mouth is absolute NONSENSE - but it's delivered in such a cat-that-got-the-cream affluent Melbourne woman way you may even second-guess YOURSELF for a millisecond
Lydia's lack of intelligence however doesn't mean JACK SHIT in terms of her standing in the world or personal wealth. I'd actually say (hilariously) Lydia is likely one of THE most affluent women across any Housewives franchise
She's absolutely minted money-wise. Lydia has a large degree of personal wealth too - from both her family and a TASTY DIVORCE PACKAGE from her first marriage, which means she isn't entirely dependent financially on her long-suffering current husband. In terms of social status she seems to be one of the most legit and actually engrained in whatever high-society is in Melbourne (or at least DID when the show was shot).
I'd ALSO say Lydia is one of the most naturally beautiful and sensual, of all Housewives. She has SERIOUS straight-man appeal as she's naturally quite a sexy/sexual woman. On top of ALL THIS she's incredibly stylish too
Money obviously helps here, but Lydia rarely gets it wrong style-wise on the show (at least from season 2 onwards) and let's be real: that Italian bride outfit in season 3 was a total SHOOT!
Why is this relevant? This combination of status, wealth, beauty AND style I do think a genuine case for jealousy at times from her cast mates could be made here (particularly Jackie and Janet, not that they'd admit it) which helps simmer away underlying tension between the women on-screen to QUITE TASTY EFFECT.
Lydia has quite a BIZARRE trajectory on the show, but unlike a lot of Housewives - Lydia being front-and-centre of the show doesn't really matter in regards to her appeal.
In a nutshell:
Season 1: Snobby, friend of Andrea's, doesn't really do much of note and is very much supporting cast.
Season 2: Had backlash from being Andrea's friend on season 1 and completely RETREATS to the point Alex Perry calls her out at the reunion for doing nothing all season
She has a notable poker game-scene with cricket legend Shane Warne where they have QUITE CLEAR sexual chemistry that sets the rumour mill on fire around Melbourne.Season 3: Lydia rises like some sort of SITH LORD draped entirely in black to become the show's primary antagonist, and at multiple times feels like the show lead (!) Forms a hilarious alliance with Pettifleur that frequently crashes and burns within entire SCENES shot together, and eventually starts to realise Gina is interested in being a potential ally towards the end of the season. Honestly a tour-de-force of a Housewife performance, and an absolute home run for the show.
Season 4: Lydia settles to being Gina's lapdog, her storyline for the season is mainly trying to destroy Janet and Jackie's friendship
Lydia also attempts a different career for each of her seasons also
Season 1: Training to be an architect or interior designer - or BOTH. I don't think anybody took her seriously
Season 2: ART COLLECTOR/Charity event organiser
Season 3: BLOGGER! (who can forget the fabled blog-wars of Dubai
)
Season 4: Cookery maven, with her home-cooking classes 'In Lydia's Kitchen' where she doesn't appear to cook ANYTHING herself, and sells plates that say 'Lydia Schiavello' on them as MERCH
The point I'm trying to make her is basically: Lydia is essentially a COMPLETELY pointless human being. She has no purpose, and literally spends her whole day gossiping about other women, and clearly often cannot remember half the shit that she's even SAID!
This of course comes to a delicious head on the show for the FLAWLESS season 3, which as mentioned above, is very much the LYDIA SEASON of Melbourne. She dominates in a way that she never really had previously, and the show is all the better for it.
The other women decide to attempt a Lydia takedown for various rumours she's apparently been spreading off-camera around Melbourne, one of which involves Chyka's husband and his SEXUALITY!
This takedown is essentially pointless however, as Lydia just does not GIVE A SHIT
You cannot shame somebody that can't be shamed, and Lydia certainly has no interest.Lydia angers the usually cool, calm and collected Chyka to the point that she EXPLODES in Dubai, but that storyline is swiftly resolved with a bottle of champagne - probably as Chyka didn't want the rumours on the show any more, and also possibly because Chyka didn't want to damage any real-life standing she has with Lydia/Lydia's social circle outside of the show.
Jackie (from NewCASTLE) however, does try to keep the Lydia takedown going right until the bitter end.
This cumulates in the hysterical season 3 end of season dinner, where Jackie once again tries to confront Lydia - only for Lydia to claim she has no recollection of what Jackie is saying as she possibly has predementia (!)
....which is the point I officially lose it laughing at these ridiculous women and this TV show
A Lydia write-up wouldn't be complete without mentioning her more PROBLEMATIC elements of her personality however, and I must mention them here.
Alongside calling Pettifleur "a real mongrel of a woman", Lydia brings her long-suffering housekeeper Joanna onto the show for season 3 and its...not a good look.
LOOK I must confess, some of the Joanna scenes I may have found amusing AT POINTS, as they are so close to an awkward Chris Lilley comedy sketch it's hard to believe they are real (and I'm sure I'm not the only one either
) But yeah, they are not ok and she was a FOOL for letting production film them. There's probably a larger conversation to be had about Melbourne Housewives and unintended racism (it's still RACISM) but to keep things light I'm not going to start it here I need to wrap this up so I'm just going to rattle through some of her on-show "friendships" and rivalries:
PETTIFLEUR:
CLEARLY shoved together as a duo by production on season 3 to keep them both on the show, they are responsible for the iconic "Gamble? BITCH" scene in the first episode of season 3 where Lydia contemplates whether two wrongs really DO make a right. Every scene of them together is full of wildly fake chaotic energy, and by the end of the season Lydia can't even TRY to contain that she clearly absolutely DESPISES Pettifleur, resulting in one of the most iconic lines from Melbourne full stop:
We were ROBBED of another season of this wildly dysfunctional duo in season 4! R O B B E D!
GINA:
Despite Gina's season 1 claim that Lydia has a 'prostitute's mentality'
and calling her a cunt multiple times in the toilet, if you watch the show back you'll notice Lydia is frequently the cast member Gina goes easiest on - and at points even seems to LIKE her? It takes Lydia until the end of season 3 to realise this, where they finally form and alliance and actually seem to become pretty good friends, a friendship that seems to somewhat remain to this day.A moment of underrated Melbourne camp is Gina and Lydia causing MAYHEM at the fruit and veg market in season 4, and the show is going to be so much worse off for not having them part of the cast for season 5.
Defining moment of their friendship? The FINAL DINNER in season 4, where Lydia goes around the table and basically slags off every single cast member to THEIR FACE with her own self-penned poems, aside from Gina who she lavishes praise over
SUZY (who?):
The season 3 flop Housewife who claimed a long history with Lydia, only for Lydia to claim she barely knows her and couldn't remember going to Suzy's wedding
JACKIE:
I love Lydia's disdain for Jackie, who she CLEARLY sees as lower class and frequently mentions that she's from NewCASTLE as opposed to Melbourne
"She's a little troublemaker, her psychic vibes are so out of whack"
JANET:
The show's most underrated feud, and one that I desperately wished was being explored in season 5. I've mentioned it several times before but the season 4 reunion Lydia vs Janet "MADAME" fight is one of the show's best and NEEDS to be on YOUTUBE!
MR FIGARO
Lydia's fabulous DOG, and unofficial show mascot. Who could forget THAT painting reveal
A dog so iconic he had got his own confessional scene!
and so I conclude my pondering on my second favourite Real Housewife of ALL TIME.
Favourite Lydia moments, quotes, gifs, outfits etc etc etc PLOISE!
And as we finally move towards the NUMBER ONE SPOT, I propose
LOVE YOU LYDIA YOU PROBLEMATIC IMBECILE!
NEXT!
Last edited:
I’ve honestly never seen a Housewife come into their own like Lydia has. The way she flings her carefully curated character out the window after Season 2 and just becomes an ALL OR NOTHING villain is one of the most incredible character developments I’ve ever seen in a television show.
ICONIC.
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I’ve honestly never seen a Housewife come into their own like Lydia has. The way she flings her carefully curated character out the window after Season 2 and just becomes an ALL OR NOTHING villain is one of the most incredible character developments I’ve ever seen in a television show.
ICONIC.
RIGHT!
After Lydia really helped FLOAT the entirety of season 3, I'm baffled as to why she isn't in season 5. I mean, we all know she left of her own accord
but she didn't even need Gina to make season 3 as hilarious and brilliant as it is. Season 3 seriously has several times where you get back-to-back Lydia scenes, and I live for every moment of them
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RIGHT!
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Also not really related, but I wanted to use this gif and couldn't find the right PLACE
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I think her house being SO NICE is why they seemed to film in it about 70% more often than any of the other Housewives places aside from maybe Pettifleur
Gina's literally seemed like a one bedroom FLAT in comparison!
I think that's just Lydia's TOWNHOUSE too! She has multiple other properties. Definitely from the "wealth whispers" school of thought I'm SURE I will be accepted into one day
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I low key HATE Chyka's big mumsy houses that are full of CUSHIONS! Why style your house like a Tory FISHWIFE from the depths of Oxfordshire when you live in fashionable TOORAK!
The trip to Manila where Lydia goes to meet poor Joanna's parents to tell them all about how much their daughter loves her life of INDENTURED SERVITUDE, before presenting them with a photo that features Joanna but is mostly of HER is truly jawdropping.
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I can only give the Joanna scenes a semi-pass if I just imagine they are part of a SURREAL COMEDY. As I admitted in the write up, despite my MORAL COMPASS I can't but find some of them quite amusing as they are just so absurd/mortifying. It's all quite Jen Okazaki.
What a dummy for having them filmed. I'm sure some of the other women on Housewives (not just Melbourne) treat their housekeepers FAR WORSE than Lydia does - imagine working as Pettifleur's underling!
and lest we forget how Gamble treated housekeeping after she chucked her guts up on the Mexico trip in season 4