I MAY slide in a BONUS few of my most HATED Housewives to keep Phoenix happy, as we are currently planted FIRM in Oceania, and may still remain for a bit longer
DISCLAIMER: There are not many GIFs online for this next franchise sadly (unlike Sydney which seemed to have EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF SCREEN TIME made into into one!)
21: Gilda Kirkpatrick and Michelle Blanchard - Real Housewives of Auckland
ANOTHER DUO, but let's be honest - it's MAINLY about Gilda here, you just can't really have ONE without the OTHER
Auckland is eerie similar to Sydney - they both only have one season, they are both full of genuinely incredibly wealthy women who act disgracefully and ALWAYS bring the drama, and they both feature a LUNATIC Housewife who does nothing but rile the other women up
The iconic Angela Stone is the Athena X of Auckland, but sadly this entry is NOT ABOUT ANGELA so we will mention her only in passing.
The other good thing about the Auckland casting was that it was a cast of 6 women only, so EVERYBODY had to pull their weight:
- New Zealand's answer to Anne Robinson, Louise and noted Champagne Lady (replaced LAST MINUTE by Dorit on this countdown fact fans may remember) Anne were the older contingent and soon became clear and obvious friends.
- World famous loon Angela Stone quickly became friends with racist Stepford wife Julia - mainly by DEFAULT, as there isn't much wiggle room in a cast of 6 people - particularly when the other 4 have bonded off into duos.
- and our heroes, Michelle and Gilda - ACTUAL genuine best friends, and 100% the good guys of the show (but also MORE THAN CAPABLE of bringing the drama

)
Gilda in particular is SUCH a legendary Housewife in the making, had this show been given further seasons.
I've never known a Housewife be so permanently UNBOTHERED by everything. If you watch the show, she frequently doesn't get THAT INVOLVED in the group scenes - often staying completely silent, but with a look that KILLS. She very much reminds me of somebody from the Quaker faith - she only speaks when the spirit moves her, and when GILDA speaks the other women of the cast LISTEN.
Throughout the show, Gilda's face is genuinely like this 85% of the time:
UNBOTHERED QUEEN!
Gilda's most famous moment has gone down in Housewives legend.
The foul, but endlessly entertaining Angela Stone tries to goad Gilda from the second she meets her, to ABSOLUTELY NO INTEREST from Gilda

At some dinner party, Angela heavily infers that rumours are flying around that Gilda is a GOLD-DIGGING PROSTITUTE to the shock of everybody at the table.
Gilda, finally FORCED to open her mouth and say something on camera utters the immortal line: "You know what I've heard about you..? <silence> NOT A FUCKING THING"
Where do you come back from that?

It's one of the most brutal and most effortless cut downs I've ever seen on Housewives.
Gilda actually offers similar RETORTS throughout her time on the show, but nothing QUITE as cutting and brutal as that one.
This low-fi BEST OF GILDA shows her off at her unbothered best, and includes the above scene.
Also of note is the scene where Angela tries to convince Gilda she is NOT FAKE, HOLY MOSES SHE IS NOT FAKE - to then announce she is about to release a book called "Being Real"

Gilda of course barely moves a muscle throughout the entire scene.
FINAL thought on Gilda: Part way through the season she announces she is writing PART TWO of her childs book 'Astarons', based upon QUANTUM PHYSICS and philosophy to the mild bafflement of the other wives. Gilda seems FASCINATED by sci-fi and science, and this is slightly unexpected but really nice. QUEEN OF INTELLIGENCE

Naturally her and Angela have a BOOK LAUNCH OFF with rival parties, although I doubt Gilda cared even a jot about Angela's book OR launch
Michelle is Gilda's real life best friend, and is a really bright presence on screen. She knows how to play the Housewife game, bring the drama, bring the confessionals - but you can tell she's never REALLY taking it 100% seriously...that is until the VILE CREATURE that is fellow Housewife Julia decides to call Michelle a RACIST TERM whilst on a boating trip.
I will leave you to google the full details, as it's gross and Michelle rightfully does not respond well to it.
I'm amazed they kept Julia in the show after it happened. It must have been SO DIFFICULT AND HORRIBLE for Michelle and Gilda to pretend they want to be in the same space as Julia afterwards.
Former model Michelle also brought one of my favourite SHADY LINES to the show in the first episode, when Angela Stone announces to a table of women she has just met that she is ALSO a model:
That moment made me laugh out loud IRL when I first watched it.
Ultimately the racist incident truly fucked Auckland up the arse without having a condom.
Vile Julia and her husband took the production company to court trying to get the racist footage removed, which meant all the budget for series 2 ended up being spent on USELESS court fees - as the footage and incident ended up being shown as part of the series ANYWAY. To be clear here - Auckland was a big hit ratings-wise, and (unlike Sydney) series 2 was absolutely on the cards had this not happened.
It's such a shame, Auckland is an endlessly entertaining ride that I highly recommend.
I'd have LOVED to have seen more of all of the cast (aside from Julia). If you haven't seen it, you can watch it in glorious HD on HayU UK
Incredibly, we STILL have more from Auckland to come at some point

I wonder WHO that could possibly be

NEXT!