Sardonicus reviews a bunch of old 45s (2 Viewers)

The video is AMAZING :D I only know the song because it was in some “weird 80s videos” YouTube compilation but it was right up my lane. Sadly there isn’t much on US iTunes for them except a 2018 maxi single with a bunch of remixes and a couple of re-recorded versions
 
I knew it and loved it from this Ronco compilation album from 1982

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I knew of Toto Coello, and that song in particular, because of Moopy. Way before my time, but I like it.
 
I bought that Toto Coello single and must have stared at that cover for hours, as it's still incredibly familiar.

I don't think I've heard it for over 40 years though :D
 
Eurythmics & Aretha Franklin - Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves b/w I Love You Like A Ball & Chain (1985)

UK chart peak - Number 9

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Great DUETS, beautiful DUETS

Still played all over the place as a lazy go-to choice for TV programmers who need a backing track for something involving STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMEN, this was a reasonably big hit in both the UK & the USA, yet I've always felt like it's somewhat less than the SUM OF ITS PARTS. I'd never think of reaching for this song if I wanted to listen to either artist.

This unlikely seeming partnership was put together at the BEHEST of Arista HEAD HONCHO, Clive Davis, & therein lies the heart of the problem. It's not evolved organically as a collaboration, it's 2 labelmates put together in a bit of a cynical exercise to get a hit. Add in later insights from Dave Stewart that Aretha felt uncomfortable working with Annie due to her seemingly ambiguous sexuality, & that she questioned whether the lyrics of this FEMINIST ANTHEM were actually a sneaky way of getting her singing some sort of LEZZA ODE TO SCISSORING or something, & it all feels to me that it's more of a gritted teeth, let's plough on & get the hit OBLIGATION rather than something made with love & mutual respect. Also, yes, incredible voice, an icon, expert shade thrower, GREAT SONGS CLASSIC SONGS etc, but this is one of several stories I've read about Aretha that seem very unpleasant. You don't have to be a lovely person to be a musical legend, but I'm hoping if she did hold homophobic views, these lessened in more ENLIGHTENED TIMES.

The B side also comes from the "Be Yourself Tonight" album, & is an OK tune in line with that album's rockier vibes. While this direction was hugely successful for them, & showcased their musical versatility, it's always been my least favourite of their imperial era works. Give me the chilly paranoid electronica of the early years or "Savage", please :disco: It's also another issue I have with "Sisters..." - for a collaboration with Aretha Franklin, of all people, it's not that SOULFUL. Talk about a missed opportunity - although credit to Annie for HOLDING HER OWN vocally against Aretha, a task not many are up to doing.

Eurythmics are still reuniting & doing the occasional thing after their initial split in 1990, & both also did some interesting solo stuff, Annie in particular with a classic first album. Aretha's legendary status was of course long assured before she passed in 2018, with 1994 single "Pride (A Deeper Love)" the most :disco: of her latter releases. It's just a shame this duet feels more CYNICAL & MISSED OPPORTUNITY than it could have been.
 
No not for me either. Didn't care for her duet with George either.

Now if we're looking at 80s Aretha, gimme Who's Zoomin Who? ANY DAY.
 
This was from the R&B album wasn’t it? Be Yourself Tonight? They had so many top singles I often get the albums confused. I mean one of all time favourite pop acts but I always refer to the Greatest Hits. There isn’t MUCH beyond the singles (with some exceptions)

This however was a GREAT ALBUM, but this single was my least favourite. Any album that contains both “There Must Be An Angel” and “It’s Alright (Baby’s Coming Back)” is already top tier
 
Harry Enfield - Loadsamoney (Doin' Up The House) b/w The B Side (1988)

UK chart peak - Number 4

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:KieranPartingGift:

I do wonder if this sort of comedy cash-in has died a death now that the chart isn't based exclusively on sales. I'm no longer paying attention but I can't recall anything in recent years.

Loadsamoney was created by Harry Enfield in the late 80s as a parody of the sort of lairy, boorish, I've got mine so up yours wanker created by the policies of the Thatcher government. Obviously this twatty subset of people was RIPE for a pisstake & of course, there was an implicit criticism of Thatcherism itself & the part it played in ripping apart the social fabric of the country. The character clearly captured the ZEITGEIST, even being namechecked in Parliament by then Labour leader Neil Kinnock & taking this single into the top 5 in April 1988.

Thing is though, we're 30 odd years removed from Maggie & pals & although we're still dealing with the fallout of those policies, we also have OTHER PRESSING CONCERNS. So the humour is completely dated & of its time. I watched a sketch before playing the record & it didn't even raise a smile. The other reason for this is because Harry Enfield was the forerunner of the catchphrase comedy best exemplified by "Little Britain" - take a character, place them in a random scenario, get them to say the line, laugh, rinse & repeat. You need to see it all of once to GET IT & it WEARS THIN quickly. Harry also had retired this character by the time his sketch show was ALL THE RAGE at school, as it was so clearly tied to a specific moment.

The record itself is co-written & produced by WILLIAM ORBIT, OF ALL PEOPLE. I wonder if he mentioned THAT to Marge when they worked on the "Ray Of Light" sessions. It lampoons the various sample-heavy hits that were making waves on the charts at the time from M/A/R/R/S, Bomb The Bass, S-Express etc, so unless its 1988 or you're a music geek like me, the musical jokes are LOST TO THE MISTS OF TIME. I do wonder how they got away with sampling ABBA, maybe because the single had a protection as a parody? The only way for a record like this to be or to remain funny is to take everything to a LOGICAL EXTREME - but instead it's just Loadsamoney limply repeating the same rubbish about how rich he is & whatnot until FIN. FAIL.

B side "The B Side" is a META track about Loadsamoney in the recording studio talking to the engineers about how he's recording the B side. Again, maybe you had to be there, but it's not funny at all.

HAZZA peaked fame wise for me in 1996 to 1997 as his BBC sketch show was ESSENTIAL VIEWING for us 13 year olds, but none of it has aged well. He's still working, but co-writer on this song & supporting actor Paul Whitehouse seems to have overtaken him now in terms of both relevance & regular acting gigs.
 
The Commodores - Three Times A Lady b/w Can't Let You Tease Me (1978)

UK chart peak - Number 1

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A rare example of a TRANSATLANTIC chart topper in this thread, & it was even more successful in the UK than at home, staying atop the charts for 5 weeks. Pity I think it's a load of MOROSE OLD SHITE. This, along with solo number 1 "Hello", cemented Lionel Richie in my head as a composer of TURGID, radio friendly WHITE BREAD, except this one doesn't even have a comedic video.

For a three & a half minute long song, "Three Times A Lady" seems to DRONE ON FOREVER. Obviously it had a soppy appeal to lovestruck boyfriends & on the slow dance ERECTION SECTION at the end of the night DOWN THE LOCAL CLUB, but it DOESN'T HALF make loving this woman sound like a depressing BURDEN. It's also a very dull song musically - it never kicks up a notch or changes gear, just meanders along at a gentle chug to the end, as MOR as you can get. How annoying that the British public bought this one in droves when so many other Motown classics missed out on the top spot here.

The B side is written by one of Lionel's COMMIE BANDMATES, & that's more like it! It's got some pizazz & a fair bit of funk, urging us up to SHAKE THE OLD BOOTY after the A side bored everyone into a COMA. The band's FINE UPBEAT MOMENT "Brick House" was written by them all together, which shows to me that Lionel can be persuaded to WIG OUT with a lot more soul & funk than we ever see on his solo endeavours.

By the 80s though, he'd upped & left for a monstrously successful solo career, but to me, even the dancey stuff has always been on the wrong side of BLAND. The Commodores themselves are still going & touring, & had one of their biggest & best hits post-Lionel in the mid 80s with "Nightshift".
 
Now I’m a huge fan of Lionel Richie and The Commodores, but I never need to hear this song again
 
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Starship - We Built This City b/w Private Room (Instrumental) (1985)

UK chart peak - Number 12

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:KieranPartingGift:

Regularly voted the worst song of the 80s/all time. While I wouldn't go that far, it is A BAG O'CRAP, an easy example to point to as a song that epitomises the worst of 80s musical EXCESSES, & is generally agreed to have been a career nadir for all involved.

Co-written by Bernie Taupin, who I believe at this point was on a break from working with Elton John, "We Built This City" was originally penned as a slower, rockier lament for the closure of various rock & roll clubs. I can actually see how this version would work & it'd suit the theme of the song much better. Rather like when studio execs begin interfering with a film to give it a WIDER APPEAL, though, it ended up full of twinkly 80s synths & bass, not only placing it firmly in 1985, rather than paying tribute to the music it appears to be mourning, but also rendering the whole point of the song MOOT. It's a bit LUDICROUS to complain that you "built this city on rock & roll" when, erm, this isn't a rock & roll song? It all sounds so PLASTICKY & FOCUS GROUPED.

It was also PILLORIED as Starship were seen as some sort of BASTARD OFFSPRING of influential 60s group Jefferson Airplane, with the whole thing perceived as them selling out their HIPPY ETHOS for a cheap buck. Personally I don't care for them in either their original psychedelic incarnation or this reinvention, although I can see why your REAL MUSIC TYPES might have been up in arms.

Another reason I deeply dislike "We Built This City" is I can't stand either his or her voices. They both have a grating tone in different ways that really GRINDS MY GEARS & I think they mesh together awfully. Thankfully the instrumental B side dispenses with them for a much preferable, if generic, chugging 80s synth vibe.

Although it just missed the top 10 here, it topped the American charts, & seems to have followed "Don't Stop Believin" by Journey (which never even charted in the UK top 40 at the time) as some sort of IRONIC 80s revival hit. I hear it a lot, including on adverts & stuff, & Ladbaby took a sausage roll based parody of it to the Christmas Number 1 a few years ago for charity, a FITTING END for it really.

Starship had a TRANSATLANTIC chart topper in 1987 with "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now", second only to Rick Astley here as the biggest seller of the year. However, the follow-up singles missed the charts entirely, making Starship one of a tiny handful of acts to have their last chart hit be a Number 1. While it's a much better song, it again irks me due to the interplay between the 2 vocalists. Grace Slick retired from music in 1990 & became a painter, but some version of the group continues to tour. Thankfully a FULL ON REVIVAL seems highly unlikely.
 
I LOVE We Built This City. How is it voted the worst song of the 80s? WHERE? I DEMAND A RECOUNT!
 
The biggest crime is that this enabled those SAUSAGE ROLL CUNTS to release music
Has Ladbaby finally taken the hint & STOPPED? I feel like I heard about some sort of controversy that money didn't go to the charities or something. Truly EVIL IN EVERY WAY.
 
The fact that Jefferson Airplane and Starship are essentially the same band will never not be amusing

That said I do love the Mannequin song. Some 80s cheese does work!
 
Starship - We Built This City b/w Private Room (Instrumental) (1985)


Regularly voted the worst song of the 80s/all time.

Wait, what? :shock: Not only was a good song, with the amount of shit there was in the 80s, who the hell voted that? 🤦‍♂️

I wasn't aware of this song until early 90s, and i even got a 7" in probably a bargain bin, and i just noticed it has the title in Spanish too, i should sell it to a Starship crazy fan, if any.

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Cocteau Twins - Iceblink Luck b/w Mizake The Mizan (1990)

UK chart peak - Number 38

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Not sure if the Twins might be MOOPY FAVES or not - I do hope so as they were a frigging brilliant & innovative band as well as being STALWARTS of the British indie scene for well over a decade, although a lot of their music kind of DEFIES CATEGORY. I'd wager that @octophone may well have BEEN A FAN, or at the least, will have a few interesting insights on their influence on both 80s alternative music & the Scottish music scene GENERALLY.

The one word that always comes to mind when I think of the Cocteau Twins is SHIMMERY. "Iceblink Luck" is a prime example of it, although it might also just be the most radio friendly & commercial thing they ever did, & they were duly rewarded with a rare appearance at the lower end of the UK top 40. It's the sort of ethereal indie dream pop CONCOCTION that got the critics SALIVATING & Enya gnashing her teeth with JEALOUSY (probably). It puts together the whirling, layered guitars from prior hits with a clearer vocal style from Liz Fraser, who was once described as having the VOICE OF GOD, & does things that no other singer would think of attempting. It had enough crossover pop appeal to maybe be a bit of a bigger hit, but I think some buyers decided to wait for the album, "Heaven Or Las Vegas", sending it to the top 10. It's probably their finest work overall, so the success was well deserved.

The B side is a bit more of a "traditional" Twins song in that the dreamy sound is there, but Liz's vocals are virtually indecipherable & form part of the mix, rather than being at the forefront. It's a deliberate stylistic choice that makes them still sound like nobody else 35 years on. Liz was very influenced by things like mouth music & glossolalia & concentrated more on how things SOUNDED rather than if listeners could understand it. 1988 single "Carolyn's Fingers" is a prime example with its operatic swoops, & came within a whisker of topping the Modern Rock chart in the USA, kept off only by U2. I once worked with a woman called Carolyn who had fingers, so it must have been about her.

An iceblink is apparently a reflection off ice that causes an optical illusion in the sky, & shows another thing that the Cocteau Twins did that was unique: picking song titles based on how things felt & sounded rather than bearing any relation to the lyrics. Most of their song titles are :disco: - "Tishbite", "Pearly Dewdrops Drops", "Cherry Coloured Funk", "Frou-Frou Foxes In Midsummer Fires", etc etc :disco::disco::disco:

Liz & guitarist Robin Guthrie's long term relationship came to an end in the early 90s & although the band ploughed on for a couple of albums, the lasting tensions saw them split for good in 1997. Liz has done the occasional bit of solo work & is well known as the vocalist on "Teardrop" by Massive Attack. She doesn't release much though & I tend to think it's because she gives it HER ALL musically & often finds the whole experience quite draining. The group almost reunited for a tour at one point, but Liz & Robin's tense relationship brought it to a halt & it seems unlikely to ever happen now, but their absence has seen their reputation, influence & MYSTIQUE only grow over the years.
 
I don’t know a ton of their work but I dated a girl that was obsessed with them back in the early 90s. She put their song Persephone on every single mixtape she made me.

I have their albums but I have just never gotten that into them.


That’s all I got. :D
 
The whole Heaven Or Las Vegas album is amazing. It’s perfect Cocteau Twins from start to finish. The opener Cherry-Coloured Funk is one of my favourite songs of all time.
 
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There is so much you wouldn't have without the Cocteau Twins - the guitar sounds were copied all across 80s indie and you would never have had the entire shoegaze genre. For something so ersatz, they made some exceptional music. Their major label albums did little but tread water which had exactly nothing to do with the lable and everything to do with the collapsing relationships within the group. If you stop at Heaven Or Las Vegas, you'll be absolutely fine - don't ignore the EPs compilation Lullabies To Violane - volume 1 is essential, volume 2 is....volume two (but it does have their Christmas single on it).
 
It's a shame Elizabeth Fraser doesn't pop up more often these days, but her performances on Massive Attack's "Teardop" and Peter Gabriel's Millenium Dome album are really fantastic.
 
Falco - Rock Me Amadeus b/w Urban Tropical (1986)

UK chart peak - Number 1

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Another TRANSATLANTIC CHART TOPPER! Possibly the most unlikely one of the 1980s. Even though a biopic of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's life had recently won big at the Oscars (it's absolutely brilliant if you haven't seen it), this rather bonkers pop tune about him, complete with German rap bits sung by an Austrian who'd been big on the continent, but was unknown in the English speaking world, must have been a bit of a HARD SELL for the A&R department. Perhaps aided by a video which featured Falco titting about in a powdered wig while surrounded by adoring groupies, it reached the summit on both charts in 1986 & is, I believe, still the only German language number 1 to reach the top in either country. "99 Luftballons" by Nena had narrowly missed the top in America in 1984, & the English language version had been the hit in the UK. In an as yet to be repeated period of IMMENSE POPULARITY for German acts, English language hits by Kraftwerk, Nicole & the Goombay Dance Band all topped the UK charts, with novelty hit "Da Da Da" by Trio almost making it too.

Falco himself had been a bit robbed of a crossover hit when English band After The Fire took a translated version of his earlier hit "Der Kommissar" to big success in the USA a few years earlier, so I'm unsure if he did have one eye on success in the lucrative English speaking markets after that & this was the result. The naggingly catchy Amadeus Amadeus bit is probably what stuck in people's heads & got it to break through on the radio, but it's a RIGHT ODD AFFAIR compared to the rest of the POP LANDSCAPE in 1986. I was too young, but don't know if anyone else remembers if it seemed like a strange hit at the time.

Anyway I BLOODY LOVE IT & think it's a shame that the stagnant chart of today is a very UNLIKELY ENVIRONMENT for something like this to blow up. It'd probably take off on TikTok or something but I'm TOO OLD FOR THAT NONSENSE. It's got lots of :disco:stuttering bits on the verses along with an urgent sounding synth/keyboard effect that DRIVES towards the chorus then hurdles into a HATSTAND final minute as it all keeps speeding up & getting more frantic. It's one of the few songs I think that could actually benefit from being a bit LONGER - it suggests it's going to keep getting more & more HECTIC but then PULLS OUT before it REACHES CLIMAX :ken: - speaking of REACHING CLIMAX, Falco conducting the audience in the video in a tuxedo, as seen here on the cover, didn't HALF set my FANNY A FLUTTER :horny:

B side "Urban Tropical" is a more instrumental synthesiser piece that again shows Falco wasn't just your average one & a bit hit wonder but a genuinely interesting musician with an ear for an UNUSUALLY CATCHY pop hit. Follow up "Vienna Calling" was another decent, & decently sized, hit for him but the interest wasn't sustained beyond that although he remained very successful in Europe. Reading up on him he sounds like he might have been a bit of an ARSE, with a contentious fatherhood issue & relationships along with years of drug & alcohol abuse. I'm unsure if the latter was what led to his death in a car crash aged 40 in 1998 or if it was just an unfortunate accident. Nevertheless, I think I'd likely explore his stuff further & of course, personal issues aren't going to stop me TRAWLING THE WEB for nude/shirtless pics because I'm so DISGUSTINGLY SHALLOW.
 
I will always love this song :D

PICTURE IT 5th grade class trip to the state capitol and we had a boombox and this song on tape and it was literally played the entire time. The teachers were mad as hell because of a bus load of 10 and 11 year olds screaming “HOT POTATOES” over and over.
 
I bought Rock Me Amadeus at the time, but that might have been because I was obsessed with the (incredible) film :D. Der Kommissar is better.

It was written and produced by Dutch SAW-a-like team Bolland & Bolland which is probably another reason why I liked it. They really knew their way around a pop chorus.

My Austrian years exposed me to lots of Falco, but none of it is very good.
 
I was 13 when this was a hit and the bit that sounds like he's singing "monkey's cunt" was especially popular.
 
Even when I probably heard it before many times, because surely it was a massive hit all over Europe, I wasn't properly aware of Rock me Amadeus until 1990, when I started listening to US radio, and this was played there enough times to find it irressitible. There are so many versions and remixes that is hard to decide which one is the best, and that's a problem when you have an ipod and what to add the one. Second half of the Canadian version is brilliant, but I might do my own edit to have one with all the best bits. I would go that far, yes, not the first time :shy:
 
D-Mob featuring Gary Haisman - We Call It Acieeed b/w Matey Instrumental (1988)

UK chart peak - Number 3

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There are some bands (I'm thinking the Grateful Dead & their association with the hippy era) or songs (I'm struggling to get another specific example, but I'm sure there's LOADS) that are very closely tied to a specific era or time & considered a DEFINING MOMENT of the genre, yet they are, to be perfectly honest, crap. I'd put this single up there as a PRIME EXAMPLE. It was hugely influential on the Acid House movement of the late 1980s, being one of the first crossover hits associated with the genre, & it exemplifies so much of that specific scene in 1988, from the videos of people gurning away on E at raves to the yellow smiley face that's the immediate image of the genre.

But a pioneering & significant record does not always a great single make. It's not 1988, I'm not off my face in some dingy nightclub in love with everyone, I'm sat here STONE COLD SOBER after being at work all day & it sounds HORRID. I know it's getting on for 40 years old, but I'm actually getting why people moaned about this being a hit. The squeaky noises & high pitched repetition of ACCIEEEEDDDD is basically a MIGRAINE set to music. It's music made to take E with & it sounds BLOODY AWFUL without. The instrumental B side is no better, as it just accentuates how awful the synth noises are.

Of course the gutter press got UP IN ARMS about THIS SORT OF THING CORRUPTING OUR INNOCENT YOUTH, which basically served as a great big SIGN to the nation's youth to go out, buy the single in droves & find out where the nearest rave was being held. But surely nobody is listening to it for PLEASURE these days, unless maybe as a trip down an ECSTASY FUELLED MEMORY LANE? And I say this as someone who loves squillions of dance tunes from this era, but this is one of a handful that I truly can't stand.

D-Mob had a better remembered, & much NICER, UK & US hit with Cathy Dennis, "C'Mon & Get My Love" a year later, along with a few other hits, only one of which, "Put Your Hands Together", I can remember (it was rubbish). He's still producing, although I was AGOG to find out today that guest vocalist Gary Haisman, the ACCIIIEEEDDD man, died from complications with deep vein thrombosis in 2018.
 
I can’t recall ever hearing this before. It’s definitely a lot to take in :D
 
Well I liked Put Your Hands Together. There was a very nice remix :david:

Also what about "It Is Time To Get @funky"?

A C I E DOUBLE E D
You know it CAN'T BE
RIP OFF THE HEARSE NURSE
IT'S WORSE
 
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Also DANCING DANNY D is responsible for THAT remix of I'm Every Woman so PLEASE
 
I picked up the D-Mob album for a quid in Sweden a few weeks back. I quite enjoyed it, all in all.

C’mon And Get My Love is the obvious standout, though.
 

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