Speculate wildly about Keir Starmer's wife (1 Viewer)

Was the first person in the UK to go Trick or Treating and was wildly unsuccessful at it, only confusing people in her street.
 
Is still catching up on all the Glastonbury sets on iPlayer, and will be for some time
 
Is fine with supermarket-own orange squash, but does think Robinsons is worth paying extra for
 
Has a horrific allergy to cats but has a stock image of a Persian as her phone background.

Says it makes her feel like she’s “living on the edge”
 
Stuck a flare up her arse when Trent scored the winning penalty.
 
After reports leaked that Priti Patel was throwing rulers and folders at Civil Servants in the Home Office she told Keir she agreed with her actions and found it “empowering”.
 
Passes her free time by measuring household objects and recording her findings in a nifty Orange notepad which she keeps under her bed.
 
Once got stuck in a lift with three nuns and breastfed them whilst they waited for rescue services to show up
 
Owns every Steps album on tape but won't listen to them until Clare officially apologies for resigning.
 
she tells people she HATES tennis but when Keir is working from home, she loves to shut herself in a small cupboard on the second floor with iplayer, her airpods and a bottle of evian. sometimes when Claire Balding is on screen or doing voiceover, she fingers herself.
 
She owns a realistic water color portrait of Joan Rivers wearing a heavily soiled nappy. If the kids so much as look at it she goes ballistic and grounds them for a month.
 
She did her first poo at No 10 today. It was absolutely unflushable and now the housekeeper hates her because she blamed it on Larry the Cat.
 
Has been encouraging Keir to use his power to get Safeway re-opened.

Hates Lidl "full of disgusting continental slop"
 
After accidentally digesting a whole sheet of LCD, she was nursed back to sanity in Margaret Beckett's caravan.
 
She did her first poo at No 10 today. It was absolutely unflushable and now the housekeeper hates her because she blamed it on Larry the Cat.
Friends are saying it was in Rachel Reeves urinal.
 
Her favourite film is Shirley Valentine. She keeps putting a single ticket to Corfu into her Expedia basket but she hasn’t pressed the checkout button yet.
 
She doesn't know what an occupational therapist actually does and she just hopes nobody asks her.
 
Has been known to start weeping and demanding packets of Skips during times of heightened emotional tension.
 

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