Speculate wildly about Keir Starmer's wife (1 Viewer)

Thinks she'd make a good Faithful. Considers everyone who has ever been a Traitor as a bad seed on this earth.
 
Listens religiously to Liza Tarbuck's Radio 2 show on Saturdays, but starts uncontrollably howling homophobic abuse at the smart speaker whenever she tunes in early and catches a bit of Rylan beforehand.
 
Does not know the words to D:Ream - Things Can Only Get Better and tries to sabotage soundsystems whenever she's in the vicinity while it's playing.
 
Identifies Wind - Laß die Sonnen in dein Herz as her favourite Eurovision entry of all time.
 
Has been working around the clock to free all of the Streeting twinks before it's too late.
 
By contrast thinks chemtrails will give her super powers and is often seen outside, face to the sky, open mouthed, hoping to take in some of that sweet sweet chemtrail magic.
 
Tragically died in childbirth years ago. Now, she is played by a body double during her rare outings. Starter's children remains unaware of her passing.
 
Refuses to except scary spices divorce from Jimmy Gulzar as marriage is for life. She stubbornly continues to refer to her as Mel G.
 
Cites 'I Believe In The Power of American Natives' as the greatest song of all time.
 
She changes the lint filter on her tumble dryer, but she sometimes wonders if she really needs to.
 
Now she's broken the no pooing, she can't stop. She's now had diarrhea on one of Boris' chaise longues and promptly moved into Rachel Reeves' apartment.
 
She's hoping to tweak her nips on the steps of Downing Street, to show the world "who she really is".
 
Has never drunk Diet Coke, which she says is "only for fat cunts"
 
She once ordered a Dido album but ended up with a dildo, because she's a thick cunt.
 
In talks with the BBC to convince them not to withdraw from Junior Eurovision this year, her kids have written a song dedicated to their father.
 
She's known amongst friends for her Theresa May "diabetes walk" impressions which she does at parties to much fanfare.
 
She decided not fly to Paris with Keir, because she didn't want to meet Macron and his wife Brigitte.. :shock:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 2 (members: 0, guests: 2)
Back
Top Bottom