Speculate wildly about Keir Starmer's wife

[TiShh]

Previously she was mostly hidden away, but today she's been THRUST into the spotlight as Britain's First Lady. But what do we really know about Mrs Sir Keir Starmer?

I hear she can fit a multibag of tangfastics in her mouth without her eyes watering

 

[KNT]

She is an American singer, songwriter, DJ, and one time vocalist for the band Deee-lite.

 

[Ha-lucy-nation]

She’s Enya’s sworn enemy.

 

[Ha-lucy-nation]

Hates wedding rings!

 

[TiShh]

She's not Keir Starmer's wife at all. She's a jouurrrrnalist ladies and gentlemen

 

[ZjermGiraffe]

She submits fake rumours to Popbitch about Angela Raynor

 

[Hard Rock Ag-elujah]

Friend of Lucy Letby, if you know what I mean.

 

[big ron]

Very good at pills apparently

 

[disneyteletubby]

Isabelle Huppert lite

 

[untilted]

All I can tell you is she’s a confirmed Swiftie.

 

[Finnland]

She actually still regularly uses her George Foreman Grill

 

[Ha-lucy-nation]

She’s a bad seed on this earth.

 

[KNT]

She submits fake rumours to Popbitch about Angela Raynor

I have never seen her and @Penelope in the same place.

 

[ButterTart]

She is an actress who has famously never deigned to show her anus.

 

[rhythmbandit]

Turned down the chance to appear on I'm a Celeb...last year, upon discovering Tony Bellew was in the lineup.

 

[disneyteletubby]

Wiktoria but she changed the Polish spelling

 

[Finnland]

Owns two (two!) Corinne Bailey Rae albums

 

[Hard Rock Ag-elujah]

Hates owls. Often poisons them.

 

[KNT]

Owns two (two!) Corinne Bailey Rae albums

She really enjoyed 'The Sea' (2010) but just hasn't really thought about her since.

 

[KNT]

The press have been told that her two children with Keir have gone unnamed to protect their identity, but she actually just forgot to name them.

"I had a lot on," she laughed, "it seems a bit late for it now."

 

[Hard Rock Ag-elujah]

She still buys CDs and was indignant when Tesco got rid of their music section.

 

[disneyteletubby]

Whichever day her probable 50th birthday is in September, might also happen to be the day that Enya's new album gets announced.

 

[untilted]

Has a slush puppy machine and uses it on the weekends to “blow off some steam”

Her favourite is cherry.

 

[Hard Rock Ag-elujah]

She recently got fingered by Neil Kinnock.

 

[ZjermGiraffe]

She told Keir not to put Emily Thornberry in his cabinet because she felt threatened by her (and rightly so)

 

[disneyteletubby]

She is betting on horses and chatting to people at the races, about how she is going to make 10 (11) Downing Street amazing.

 

[Ellie]

Her all time favourite TV show is …And Just Like That.

 

[dzjermlaw]

She owns more than 300 fridge magnets, each with a funny slogan implying a hidden drinking problem.

 

[KNT]

She insisted Keir Starmer keep Fridays clear because that's when they go dogging.

 

[ZjermGiraffe]

She has a picture of Cherie Blair as her iPhone wallpaper

 

[Finnland]

She always says that you can't go wrong with M&S, and she's right.

 

[C’est la VoR]

Her favourite version of the Leonard Cohen classic 'Hallelujah' is Alexandra Burkes.

"I just think she has a nicer voice" she admits.

 

[KNT]

She never cared for her mother-in-law's donkeys.

 

[Ich Carniva-la-la-la]

She doesn’t believe in algebra.

 

[Ha-lucy-nation]

She doesn’t believe in algebra.

X is 4? No, X is clearly X you dumb bitch!

 

[Finnland]

Her favourite swear word is 'crap', but she tries not to use it often

 

[KNT]

She knows a secret so dark that it haunts her every waking hour and intrudes on her dreams.

 

[Finnland]

She loves to get in an Old El Paso fajita kit and 'really make a night of it'

 

[disneyteletubby]

Somewhat two-faced, using far more expletives than the aforementioned (even to Keir) she was a voice in Louise's 2 Faced.

 

[ZjermGiraffe]

She hopes that Keir does end up working late on Fridays so she can spend some quality time with this picture