Season 4 Episodes 14-17: The end of Carlton
For a one-season wonder who - as far as I can tell - has done little to no TV work of any description in over a decade, Carlton Gebbia seems to be held in fairly high nostalgic esteem by Housewives gays, at least if online memification is any kind of measure.
Could it be that she was slightly ahead of her time? At this point in the show, Beverley Hills has still retained 50% OG cast members, with Brandi and Yolanda slotting into the Beverley Hills milieu so effortlessly that it’s easy to forget they haven’t been there from the very start.
By comparison, while Carlton gives good TV with her wiccan weirdness and faded WWE wrestler turned softcore porn actress aesthetic, her whole vibe just felt a little too effortful and calculated for maximum screen time, without the more subtle interactions that actually make this show fairly compelling.
She’d probably fit in just fine in 2024, when the franchise seems to have surrendered any pretence that the various cast members are anything more than fully self-aware colleagues doing the bits that are expected of them. In 2014 she feels like an overly effortful interloper.
(Obligatory note on poor, sweet, boring Joyce, who has the opposite problem in that she makes a seemingly sincere attempt to befriend the ladies, but doesn’t bring any actual drama to the table. Her rapid forgiveness of Brandi for her racist bullying speaks to her class and maturity, but with no other conflicts to lean into, it pretty much renders her useless to the show.)
So I still have a couple of episodes and the reunion to go, but given Carlton is notably absent from the obligatory end of season group holiday, and the focus shifts to a long-overdue reckoning for Lisa Vanderpump, it feels like the fight at Ken & Mauricio’s joint birthday party is essentially her final flame out on the show.
The fight has its moments. I particularly enjoy Carlton’s reveal that the peacemaking necklace from a few episodes back has been placed into a pool of distilled water to cleanse it of Kyle’s EVIL ENERGY.

But I couldn’t possibly tell you what triggered it beyond unsubstantiated bitchiness and general BAD VIBES. There are manifold entirely rational reasons to dislike Kyle Richards, so it’s a damning indictment of Carlton that she can’t really land a single blow that sticks.
The fatal blow is of course when Kyle calmly accuses Carlton of being anti semitic, precipitating the mother of all meltdowns in which Carlton basically shrieks "WELL THAT'S WHAT YOU PEOPLE DO, ISN'T IT?" as her husband physically drags her to the exit before she can make things any worse.
(Aside: While the weaponization of antisemitism does leave a bit of a sour taste on this scene, there is something rather THRILLING about seeing Kyle calmly and efficiently destroy Carlton's social standing without breaking a sweat. It might be her most imperious moment on the show to date.)
…and unless I’m missing some eleventh hour comeback, that seems to pretty much be the end of Carlton’s arc on the show. She’s present in the post-party episode to lamely uninvite Kyle from an event that she clearly had no interest in attending anyway and there’s a truly mortifying blubbering talking head about how she couldn't possibly be prejudiced because she grew up in South Africa!!!! But even her fairweather allies Brandi and Yolanda pretty much insta-ditch her, and when she’s the only cast member not to join the trip to Puerto Rico, it seems like the writing is on the wall.
The witch is dead!
Random observations
* Much of the rest of these episodes was yet more boring party planning and Vanderpump rules crossover, which I will not be commenting on
* Kim is 100% checked out of this season, isn't she?

* There are also developments in the Brandi-Lisa-Kyle toxic friendship triangle, but that seems to be building to something so I'll cover it on my next essay.