Girls, I feel it may be time to take our first stop-off in MELBOURNE!
20: Janet Roach - Real Housewives of Melbourne
I DO FEEL SORRY for our American friends. Apparently Melbourne is almost impossible to watch Stateside on account of Bravo being UNWILLING to show it, and the Australian TV network blocking most illegal links. I'm sure Bravo's issues stem from them not wanting the Aussie ladies UPSTAGING their homegrown franchises
As many have already mentioned, Melbourne is TOP TIER Housewives. It's currently 4 seasons deep (with a fifth EVENTUALLY on it's way), and it's really a non-stop, frequently SHAKESPEARIAN tour-de-force in incredible reality TV.
At the beating heart of the best Housewives franchises there is always a FRENEMY dynamic bubbling away - Gizelle vs Karen in Potomac, Nene vs Kim/Kenya in Atlanta, Ramona vs Bethenny/Dorinda/EVERYBODY in New York - and Melbourne is no stranger to this concept.
The over-arching storyline in Melbourne is the constant battle of two camps in the show - one lead by the "fucking queen" Gina Liano, the other lead by human lizardwoman JANET ROACH!
Janet is a Melbourne legend, and a mainstay of the franchise - having been in from the VERY BEGINNING.
To be frank, she's frequently a VILE shit-stirrer, who despite her unspecified AGE and vast wealth frequently acts like a bitchy high school girl

Oh, and she HATES HATES HATES fellow OG cast member, the DUMB FAT BITCH Lydia

(of whom we are of course ASKING A QUESTION!)
As mentioned, her and Gina shoulder the franchise - although often quite subtly.
The best thing about their relationship is that they are genuinely (sort of) friends underneath it all, and 100% get that being on Housewives is to play a role. Like Potomac, their fights are often CAMP and RIDICULOUS - but never overly personal. They even admitted at one of the reunions that they have too much begrudging respect for each ever to really get into it TOO DEEP.
The reason that Janet falls JUST OUTSIDE the top 20 on this countdown, is because unlike Gina's dry and witty barbs - Janet is often just PLAIN VULGAR and below the belt
I don't like to TEAR DOWN WOMEN'S APPEARANCES, but in the same breath I feel like mentioning Janet's is essential to a write up of her.
As mentioned, Janet's age is a MEDICAL MYSTERY - but i'm lead to believe it's probably closer to 70 than 50

She reminds me of the very end of Death Becomes Her where Goldie and Meryl are PATCHING EACH OTHER UP WITH PAINT and falling apart at the seams

To be fair - Janet would probably be the first to admit all this herself, she's very self-aware and self-deprecating
but I do think she should perhaps GO EASY on the surgery a little bit.
Janet is a bit of a master-manipulator on the show, often sowing the seeds and letting whoever her current minion is (usually Jackie or later Gamble) RUN OFF and do her dirty work for her, generally letting Janet sit back and watch the mess whilst giving very good talking head.
Her most famous moment is probably her LUDICROUS "Evvvverrrrrybody in Melbourne" fight with Gamble in season 2, that at some point had Gamble scream back at her something along the lines of "WELL I HEARD YOU FUCK RICH GUYS FOR HEROIN!" 
I also absolutely CANNOT write up Janet without mentioning her DRINKING. The woman must be PICKLED!
Never one to turn down a glass of champagne, or WHATEVER IS FLOWING FREE - it all comes to a head in season 4 during a trip to Mexico where Janet has an off camera overnight TUMBLE of sorts (it's never really properly explained) having drunk far too much tequila, where she smashes her entire face in.
HORRIBLE yes, but the way it plays out on camera afterwards, and how Janet just CONTINUES DRINKING and acts like nothing is wrong despite her head having swollen up like a BALLOON is hilarious to watch.
Final Janet thought, my other favourite line is when she quips back at Gina having just declared she is "the fucking queen" with "GO DROWN IN THE POOL!"
and who can forget when Janet stole Gina's present for Venus' child at a baby shower, ripped the card off and presented it with no remorse as HER OWN GIFT 
There's a well done Janet best-off video here, which is well worth a watch as it features all the ESSENTIALS - and I FULLY WELCOME AND ENDORSE your own favourite Janet lines and gifs, there are SO MANY!
BYE JANET!
So I've somehow covered about 15 Housewives and one house-husband in the first 10 slots, WHO KNOWS WHERE WE ARE HEADED NEXT..? (spoiler: back to the States
) 