SANREMO 2025 CHAT LONGE feat. MONGE AND MISOGYNY - MIND THE STEP (Italy 2025) (1 Viewer)

We a make-a the stairs inveeeesable, I don’t a see-a the problem!

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To think, had we known about tonight’s exciting GREEN CARPET event we could’ve extended the fun to 6 nights!

 
Now that the dreaded time is upon us, here's a preview of what this year's selection of MONGE has to offer.


1. Achille Lauro – Incoscienti giovani

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The former Una Voce per San Marino winner has never one to shy away from a career reinvention, with previous turns as rap star and pop-rocker under his belt. Don’t expect any sheer bodystockings or onstage baptisms this time around. Achille is now presenting himself as Italy's leading balladeer. The reviews say it’s not too dissimilar to his last single 'Amore Disperato' but with an added saxophone frenzy at the end. Described as melancholic, cinematic and nostalgic (codeword for dated?), this sounds Sanremo-by-numbers.

Anyway, you'll be hearing more about Achille later...


2. Bresh – La tana del granchio

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The appearance of our first deathly ex-twink. Bresh (28!) is a rapper/singer-songwriter. The words ‘subdued’ ‘acoustic guitar’ and ‘male fragility’ featured in the reviews of this. I’ll say no more. He was rumoured to be in the running for the last couple of editions but failed to make the final cut. For a big-name debut at Sanremo, this has all the makings of an underperformance.


3. Brunori Sas - L'albero delle noci

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WTG’s daddy of the season. Brunori makes his Sanremo debut as a critically acclaimed indie singer-songwriter. The initial reviews were overwhelmingly positive about this, with most saying it’s one of, if not the best song in this year’s contest (they said the same about Loredana last year FYI).

I doubt Moopy will be quite so positive. He’s singing a ballad (aren’t they all) about the joys and fears of parenthood. If you’re a fan of speak-singing and squeezing more syllables into a line of music that seems legitimately possible (like me), you’ll love him. If you’re Zen, then less so.


4. Clara – Febbre

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Clara returns for the second year in a row. Earning her place last year as the winner Sanremo Giovani, she was the first female winner of the new artist’s category since 2009. Despite finishing in a lowly 24th place last year, Rai obviously believes there’s better to come from Clara having had a year to establish more of a name for herself.

Febbre is co-written by Madame and Dardust amongst others, who also had a hand in ‘La Noia’. Think of this as the more aggressive, dance-orientated sibling to last year's ‘Diamanti grezzi’. Likely to provide welcome relief considering the number of ballads in the mix.


5. Coma_Cose – Cuoricini

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Fausto and California are a husband-and-wife duo. Cuoricini (little hearts) refer to the like button on Instagram etc, and the challenges of cohabiting as a couple in the social media age. This is apparently a lot catchier than it sounds. Expect fast-paced, 80s-influenced electro-pop. The staging is somewhat K-Pop inspired allegedly, which will make a change from the Sanremo standard of wandering aimlessly around the stage.


6. Elodie – Dimenticarsi alle 7

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Elodie is back with a dance ballad. She’s wants to show her mature side this time, so Andromeda or Black Nirvana 2.0 this is not. Sanremo has never shown much appreciation for her in the past. There were initially high expectations when the acts were announced and a feeling that this could finally be her year. The reviews were fairly positive, with the vocals and production singled out as the highlights. However, the song itself maybe isn't as immediate as it needs to be and ends up as a slight glow-down on previous efforts.


7. Fedez - Battito

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One of NUMEROUS rappers with dreadful neck tattoos in this year’s competition. Drama just seems to follow her around.

Fedez and Tony Effe (also of the Sanremo class of ‘25) are currently involved in an ongoing public spat, which escalated after Tony released a diss-track last year about Fedez’s then-wife, Chiara Ferragni.

Like Tony, he’s been embroiled in his own sexism controversy in the run up. Following the announcement that he’ll be performing ‘Bella stronza’ (Beautiful Bitch) during the Covers Night, local politicians have been up in arms claiming it’ll be dedicated to his ex-wife and demanding Rai exclude him. It just so happens that the former celeb power couple recently divorced with Chiara revealing he’d been cheating on her for years. Cynics say she disclosed that titbit to deflect media attention away from her current legal woes. She’s up on charges of defrauding a charity. An Italian Hannah Ingram-Moore if you will. Fedez’s team have also hit back alleging she was fucking Achille Lauro (!) whilst he was playing away. Let's be honest, they're clearly all TERRIBLE human beings.

With Fedez, Tony and Achille all competing this year, the potential for on-stage drama is high. Hopefully someone is keeping a close eye on the flowers.

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Achille, Chiara and Fedez in happier times.

As for the song, 'Battito' is about his relationship with depression. The reviews described this as an aggressive, dark trap/rap number. There’s a solid songwriting team behind this including Federica Abbate (previously 'Nessun grado di separazione' and Elodie’s 'Due'). Fedez was runner up with Francesca Michielin in Sanremo 2021, so he has good form here. As one of the big names in the local music scene and a tabloid regular, expect this to be in the mix come Saturday night.
 
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7. Fedez - Battito

Fedez and Tony Effe (also of the Sanremo class of ‘25) are currently involved in an ongoing public spat, which escalated after Tony released a diss-track last year about Fedez’s then-wife, Chiara Ferragni.

Like Tony, he’s has been embroiled in his own sexism controversy in the run up. Following the announcement that he’ll be performing ‘Bella stronza’ (Beautiful Bitch) during the Covers Night, local politicians have been up in arms claiming it’ll be dedicated to his ex-wife and demanding Rai exclude him. It just so happens that the former celeb power couple recently divorced with Chiara revealing he’d been cheating on her for years. Cynics say she disclosed that titbit to deflect media attention away from her current legal woes. She’s up on charges of defrauding a charity. An Italian Hannah Ingram-Moore if you will. Fedez’s team have also hit back alleging she was fucking Achille Lauro (!) whilst he was playing away. Let's be honest, they're clearly all TERRIBLE human beings.

With Fedez, Tony and Achille all competing this year, the potential for on-stage drama is high. Hopefully someone is keeping a close eye on the flowers.
:wow:
 
To think, had we known about tonight’s exciting GREEN CARPET event we could’ve extended the fun to 6 nights!


And he looks like complete shit. He'd have been better served picking something up from Ethel Austin; smart, durable and a fraction of the price. All that money just to look like The Undertaker's lesbian aunt.
 
And he looks like complete shit. He'd have been better served picking something up from Ethel Austin; smart, durable and a fraction of the price. All that money just to look like The Undertaker's lesbian aunt.

Mourning into evening wear is a hard look to pull off but I think he succeeds.
 
Why does Bresh look like the wax model of a dug up corpse?
 
Italy's leading balladeer.
:MilesPanic:
The words ‘subdued’ ‘acoustic guitar’ and ‘male fragility’ featured in the reviews of this
:ToneNervous:
He’s singing a ballad (aren’t they all) about the joys and fears of parenthood.

:Icesiseyes:

aggressive, dance-orientated sibling to last year's ‘Diamanti grezzi’. Likely to provide welcome relief considering the number of ballads in the mix.
Oh thank fuck for that
 
Making a note to have sedatives and opium airlifted in for the grand event this evening.
 
Here’s the next lot after last night’s clash with Lucy and DC’s fashion extravaganza. Although in some ways it's only right the thread is as CONFUSING and IMPENETRABLE as the real thing.


8. Francesca Michielin – Fango in paradiso

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A familiar one to Moopy since the days of 'Nessun grado di separazione'. And of course, a beneficiary of the rule in this UTTER TRIPE SNOB’S PARADE™ ((PENELOPE) where the winner can decline Eurovision if THEY’RE ABOVE IT ALL QUITE FRANKLY. Given the dad-rock winner that year, they did us a favour. Twice the bridesmaid, finishing runner up in 2016 and 2021, our Fran enters as an underdog this year. Her most recent album was a bit of a flop. Other than a very generous top 10 festive hit courtesy of Amazon Music at the end of last year, her last single to make any chart impact was coincidently her previous Sanremo entry in 2021. Needless to say, the streaming era hasn’t been kind. :(

A sweet, elegant ballad about the end of a relationship, Francesca said she cried the first time the orchestra played it in rehearsals. The reviews say this is the best comeback she could have hoped for. Let’s hope she can get through the week without going down the stairs arse over tit again.


9. Francesco Gabbani – Viva la vita

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Francesco is one of four returning winners returning this year.

The gorilla is long dead. Vita la vita is yet ANOTHER ballad. The reviews considered this a hymn for life. Whilst Francesco lacks the earnestness of say, John Lundvik, the song sees him giving off Christian pop vibes. And perhaps a little too much. This sort of thing has been done many times before and far better. He has his fans but its looking unlikely that he’ll be repeating previous successes.


10. Gaia – Chiamo io chiami tu

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Gaia and fellow competitor Tony Effe released one of the biggest hits of 2024 with 'Sesso e samba'. Here she's leaning into her Brazilian roots again with another song that’s designed to go viral with Gen Z. It’s upbeat and one of the few songs promising actual choreography. She should meet all the conditions for Moopy.


11. Giorgia – La cura per me

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The fourth-best voice in the world according to her Wikipedia (no working citation marker required). Giorgia’s something of a local legend, making a name for herself in the 90s as Italy’s answer to the likes of Mariah and Celine.

2025 marks the 30th anniversary since she won Sanremo. She’s got a solid track record in the competition with several top 3 finishes since then. Her return in 2023 was considered quite the coup for Rai. However, her Wendy Moten Cassio-synth ballad was considered a dud. A 6th place finish earned more on name recognition was considered a disappointment. Not many were expecting to see her return again, however she’s just finished a stint as an X-Factor Italia judge and has a new album to promote.

One of three songs written this year by Blanco aka. Mahmood’s Twink, this ballad is considered a return to form. Expect showboating vocal gymnastics. This is the current odds-on favourite to win.

Annalisa fans should note she’ll be making an appearance with Giorgia on cover’s night.


12. Irama - Lentamente

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Making his 5th appearance in 7 years, you can’t help but sense the desperation to win is strong with this one. Another ballad penned by Mahmood’s twink. If you’ve heard one Irama ballad, you’ve heard them all. Expect a vocal style that can only be described as STRAINED.


13. Joan Thiele – Eco

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Frida Kahlo cosplayer Joan, is another of this year’s debutants. Despite critical acclaim over the years, she’s tended to fly under the radar and never quite broken into the mainstream. ‘Eco’ is described as a mix of 60’s Spaghetti Western meets Bond Theme meets Pulp Fiction meets Tame Impala. It was commented that the song is “not boring”. High-praise indeed! As one of the lesser known acts, Joan's selection was considered a gamble by Rai. Unlikely to win but could be the surprise discovery.


14. The Kolors – Tu con chi fai l’amore

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This trio appeared in the 2024 competition and are back for second shot. Last year’s entry was 80s disco-pop for the straights (with Bejba of all people having a starring role in the music video). We’re getting more of the same this year but with likely diminishing returns. Expect them to be shunted on stage past midnight.
 
MAKING NOTES of the one or two entries per update that sound highly relistenable (IT'S PART OF THE CHARM) :disco:
 
15. Lucio Corsi - Volevo essere un duro

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Described by Moopy as David Hoyle x Liz Jones, Lucio is among this year’s critic’s darlings. Despite some great reviews, this will probably be too left-field for many. I suspect Lucio might be too quirky for her own good except for art queens and fans of 60s hippy folk-rock.

Lucio will be singing with Italy’s favourite anthropomorphic mouse, Topo Gigio (pictured) on covers night.


16. Marcella Bella – Pelle diamante

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One of Moopy’s favourite far-right figures. With a music career spanning 6 decades, Marcella made a brief foray into politics in the mid-00s with a failed election attempt for the successors to Mussolini’s Republican Fascist Party. She swiftly returned to music releasing songs like BASTARD MAN and most recently HIGH HEELS.

She’s been lobbying for her place at Sanremo for years, at one point claiming her rejection was a left-wing vendetta. Marcella made do with an appearance at last year’s Una Voce per San Marino after another late rejection. Marcella is giving us a feminist anthem. Lyrics say she’s “strong, independent, a bitch maybe”. We're told to get ready for high camp, leather and sensual choreography.


17. Massimo Ranieri - Tra le mani un cuore

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One of the notable things about Italy is their commitment to representation for the over 70s. Massimo amongst his many qualities represented Italy in Eurovision 1971 and 1973. And that’s exactly where this song probably belongs. It's classic Sanremo meets West End musical.

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Be warned. If we’re going to get a moment like this, bets are it will be here.


18. Modà – Non ti dimentico

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Manband Modà established themselves as purveyors of the romantic rock ballad. Something that’s barely changed in 20 years, and it won’t be happening here. These wet blankets will appeal to mothers of a certain age and no one else. They’re not here to win but rather promote their upcoming tour.


19. Noemi - Se t'innamori muori

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Noemi has a voice that typifies the quintessentially Italian, 40-a-day timbre. Mahmood & Twink are on songwriting duties here. They like chit-chat at Sanremo and this is no different. This goes heavy on the speak-singing from the outset. An eight-time entrant, the reviews suggest this might be her best effort in years. This could be the dark horse amid the other female ballads.


20. Olly – Balorda nostalgia

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Another ballad and another potential winner here. Olly described this as channelling Portuguese saudade. One of the songs that will benefit from the live orchestra, fans of 'Fai rumore' and 'Due vite' should like this.

Conspiracy theorists will note some of the journalists covering Sanremo have been overwhelmingly positive about this, possibly due to their close association with Olly's management team. And who just so happen have to have the last two Sanremo winners on their roster. Obviously clutching at straws and a LOAD OF OLD SHIT, but they'll be VINDICATED when Olly tops the results of the press jury. :rolleyes:


21. Rkomi – Il ritmo delle cose

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Rap meets pop. A song made for radio and that’s about the most positive thing you can say about this. Unlikely to trouble the favourites or Moopy for that matter.
 
The Kolors just returned the favour by featuring in Blanka's new video!
 
Every year I think I'm going to DO Sanremo properly this year

Every year I remember I have less time left
 
Here’s the next lot after last night’s clash with Lucy and DC’s fashion extravaganza. Although in some ways it's only right the thread is as CONFUSING and IMPENETRABLE as the real thing.


8. Francesca Michielin – Fango in paradiso

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A familiar one to Moopy since the days of 'Nessun grado di separazione'. And of course, a beneficiary of the rule in this UTTER TRIPE SNOB’S PARADE™ ((PENELOPE) where the winner can decline Eurovision if THEY’RE ABOVE IT ALL QUITE FRANKLY. Given the dad-rock winner that year, they did us a favour. Twice the bridesmaid, finishing runner up in 2016 and 2021, our Fran enters as an underdog this year. Her most recent album was a bit of a flop. Other than a very generous top 10 festive hit courtesy of Amazon Music at the end of last year, her last single to make any chart impact was coincidently her previous Sanremo entry in 2021. Needless to say, the streaming era hasn’t been kind. :(

A sweet, elegant ballad about the end of a relationship, Francesca said she cried the first time the orchestra played it in rehearsals. The reviews say this is the best comeback she could have hoped for. Let’s hope she can get through the week without going down the stairs arse over tit again.


9. Francesco Gabbani – Viva la vita

View attachment 33275

Francesco is one of four returning winners returning this year.

The gorilla is long dead. Vita la vita is yet ANOTHER ballad. The reviews considered this a hymn for life. Whilst Francesco lacks the earnestness of say, John Lundvik, the song sees him giving off Christian pop vibes. And perhaps a little too much. This sort of thing has been done many times before and far better. He has his fans but its looking unlikely that he’ll be repeating previous successes.


10. Gaia – Chiamo io chiami tu

View attachment 33276


Gaia and fellow competitor Tony Effe released one of the biggest hits of 2024 with 'Sesso e samba'. Here she's leaning into her Brazilian roots again with another song that’s designed to go viral with Gen Z. It’s upbeat and one of the few songs promising actual choreography. She should meet all the conditions for Moopy.


11. Giorgia – La cura per me

View attachment 33277


The fourth-best voice in the world according to her Wikipedia (no working citation marker required). Giorgia’s something of a local legend, making a name for herself in the 90s as Italy’s answer to the likes of Mariah and Celine.

2025 marks the 30th anniversary since she won Sanremo. She’s got a solid track record in the competition with several top 3 finishes since then. Her return in 2023 was considered quite the coup for Rai. However, her Wendy Moten Cassio-synth ballad was considered a dud. A 6th place finish earned more on name recognition was considered a disappointment. Not many were expecting to see her return again, however she’s just finished a stint as an X-Factor Italia judge and has a new album to promote.

One of three songs written this year by Blanco aka. Mahmood’s Twink, this ballad is considered a return to form. Expect showboating vocal gymnastics. This is the current odds-on favourite to win.

Annalisa fans should note she’ll be making an appearance with Giorgia on cover’s night.


12. Irama - Lentamente

View attachment 33278

Making his 5th appearance in 7 years, you can’t help but sense the desperation to win is strong with this one. Another ballad penned by Mahmood’s twink. If you’ve heard one Irama ballad, you’ve heard them all. Expect a vocal style that can only be described as STRAINED.


13. Joan Thiele – Eco

View attachment 33279

Frida Kahlo cosplayer Joan, is another of this year’s debutants. Despite critical acclaim over the years, she’s tended to fly under the radar and never quite broken into the mainstream. ‘Eco’ is described as a mix of 60’s Spaghetti Western meets Bond Theme meets Pulp Fiction meets Tame Impala. It was commented that the song is “not boring”. High-praise indeed! As one of the lesser known acts, Joan's selection was considered a gamble by Rai. Unlikely to win but could be the surprise discovery.


14. The Kolors – Tu con chi fai l’amore

View attachment 33280

This trio appeared in the 2024 competition and are back for second shot. Last year’s entry was 80s disco-pop for the straights (with Bejba of all people having a starring role in the music video). We’re getting more of the same this year but with likely diminishing returns. Expect them to be shunted on stage past midnight.
Fran aside, what an unexciting bunch. Already irritated by Irama :gross:
 
Every year I think I'm going to DO Sanremo properly this year

Every year I remember I have less time left
Oh just GET THE WINE IN and have it done with. Falling asleep halfway through IS doing Sanremo properly!
 

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