Moopyvision 2010-2019: Round 1: Sweden, UK & San Marino - RESULTS

Thanks RoM.

Up to 16 votes now. I'm going to leave it open until noon on Sunday though as I'm busy all day and Sunday afternoon feels a good time to post results. Please do keep 'em coming.
 
17. All full votes, nobody took advantage of the top 5 option. I'll keep it open for future rounds just in case, but of course would strongly encourage complete votes if possible.
 
Sorry for the delay but I need an emergency tie-breaker. The UK winner is currently tied on points AND most 12s. :o

Can somebody who hasn't voted yet (@lolly I see you) just do me a quick vote for the UK? You don't need to do the other two if you don't have time.
 
Thanks @lolly

OK let's get started. We'll do San Marino first, then Sweden, the finish with that thrilling UK clash of the titans. :disco:

SAN MARINO

9th: Michele Perniola & Anita Simoncini - Chain of Lights (36pts)

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Two former Junior Eurovision contestants - he from Italy, she a bonafide Sammarinean - paired up in 2015 for this tragic wannabe peace anthem, inevitably penned by German hitmaker Ralph Siegel, who basically bankrolled San Marino's Eurovision entries throughout the 10s as a curious personal passion project.

My fondest memories of this are the entire stadium rather rudely screaming along to the dramatic 'NO!' intro (you can actually hear it in the performance) and a bunch of the gays I was watching with nominating it as the entry we'd inappropriately attempt to slut drop to.

Absolute dreck, obviously. I imagine for Michele and Anita, being reminded of this this is a slightly higher profile equivalent of your mum dragging out the old VHS of your mortifying turn in a school production Joseph's Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat.

Highest Mark: 10 (David_5000)
4x 0s: (VoR, Kevin, kevin7, Raining On Me)
 
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8th: Senit - Stand By (57pts)

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A slight oddity in the Sammarinese back catalogue, this appears to be a genuinely sincere attempt, though presumably still bankrolled by an Italian record company. Senit was from Bologna and had three albums plus numerous stage credits on her CV.

All in all, perfectly respectfully. Sadly it's also very boring, and was never likely to go anywhere. The Juries saw fit to put this as high as 8th place, but she only scored 8 points total on the televote.

Highest Mark: 8 (Alla, Ill Advised)
5x0s (Buttertart, Jacques, Superstylin', Penelope, Ag)
 
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7th: Valentina Monetta & Jimmie Wilson - Spirit of the Night (57pts)

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In which restlessly creative musical chameleon Valentina Monetta trots boldly down to Reflex for a night of 80s frugging and BC. :disco:

Sadly, whatever goodwill she earned with her surprise qualification in 2014 didn't extend to this enjoyable but faintly amateurish bit of pound-shop disco (also Siegel-penned, natch). It was the very definition of fun filler though, and you just know she'll be back. I for one still await her inevitable turn to trap music.

Highest Score: 10 (Penelope, Superstylin')
1x0 (ameraal)
 
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6th: Valentina Monetta - The Social Network Song (68pts)

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The birth of an icon :disco:

Somehow it took until their third Eurovision effort for San Marino to discover the nascent talents of Valentina Monetta, then a sprightly 37 years old. The first results of what would become a fruitful creative partnership with similarly bold young upstart Ralph Siegel (68), the Social Network Song is as incisive portrait of the modern era as you're likely to find on the Eurovision Song Contest stage.

She may have soared to greater heights since, but like the early work of Bowie, Madonna and ABBA, the embryo of genius was already well and truly taking form.

Highest Mark: 10 (kevin7)
2x0: (Alla, Kalabaliken)
 
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Btw, how many of them advance to the next round? I think you didn't say it.

The winner from each country. Then there'll be two semi finals and a grand final, Eurovision style.

Considering retaining the big 5 rule just for simplicity but open to debate on that.
 
Delighted but also sad that "Chain of Lights" has a bigger stan than myself
 
5th: Serhat - I Didn't Know (75pts)

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They say the mark of a great song is how well it stands up to reinvention. Dolly Parton's Jolene has famously been reworked from country ballad beginnings to blues, punk, rock, soul and even 33RPM version if itself, the central core of brilliance never diminished.

Similarly, I Didn't Know started life as a sort of lusty Telly Savalas sex ballad, complete with a beach fetish fantasy video directed by fashion mogul turned silicone-enhanced living art project Thierry Mugler, before being transformed into a husky Disco anthem for the Eurovision stage.

Sadly, the whole project still proved a little too cerebral for Eurovision viewers in Stockholm, but like the birth of Valentina, a seed had definitely been planted, and greater artistic heights would follow...

Highest Mark: 12 (Win_The_Game)
3x0s: (Pingu, David_5000, Ill Advised)
 
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I have a soft spot for Chain of Lights. How can you dislike a song with a keychange before even the second verse?
 
4th: Jessika & Jenifer - Who We Are (78pts)

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"We are the heroes of our ti..."

Sorry, wrong song.

Highest Mark: 12 (Superstylin')
2x0s (Suomi, Win_The_Game)
 
3rd: Valentina Monetta - Maybe (110pts)

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Third time proved to be the charm for the Val/Siegel partnership, if by charm you mean 'scraping through the semi finals and finishing in 24th place overall'. Which of course, I DO.

I mean yes, realistically this is a fairly weak sauce re-heated Bond ballad with a cheap as chips stage concept, but if this moment didn't make your heart sing even a little bit back in 2014, check your God Damn pulse and get out of my Contest. :evil:



Highest score: 10 (VoR, Buttertart, Kalabaliken, ameraal, Ill Advised)
Lowest Score: 1 (Jacques)
 
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I think San Marino qualifying in 2014 is one of my favourite Eurovision moments of all time. After the disappointment the year before, I don’t think anyone expected them to qualify the year after!
 
So, it's between the second tries from Valentina and Serhat. Who will triumph?
 
I hope not. I know I'm in the minority but I like Valentina's two more successful/serious entries a lot less than the silly two.
 
2nd: Serhat - Say Na Na Na (139pts)

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From war and politics to climate change and Ed Sheeran, there's a solid argument to be made that humanity is currently on the cusp of a new Dark Ages. Thank God for Serhat, then, returning to the Eurovision fold with the gravel-voiced balm to our psychological wounds.

Like a Pet Shop Boys song written from the perspective of a slightly addled old sugar daddy, Say Na Na Na was a rare unifying moment in 2019, and San Marino's biggest Eurovision success to date (top ten on the televote! Not that you'd have noticed with the stupid new reveal system, but that's a rant for another place and time...)

Stuff like this is why San Marino's Eurovision participation must be protected at all costs.

5x12 (Raining On Me, Suomi, Pingu, Jacques, Kevin
Lowest Score: 1 (Ill Advised)


1st: Valentina Monetta - Crisalide (162pts)

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Queen Val's second and most beloved effort to date, Crisalide was truly San Marino's grub to Butterfly moment. Valentina herself had an impressive glow-up from benefits office casual wear to elegant Italian diva, while the song was a certified banger that quickly became one of the fan favourites of 2013.

An agonising near-miss kept San Marino in the semis for another year, but this was the year they proved they could genuinely compete. They'd finally reap the rewards a year later, but until she finally has her Euphoria moment in 2031, this is the one she's most likely to be remembered for...

10 x 12s (VoR, David_5000, Buttertart, Alla, kevin7, Penelope, Kalanbaliken, Ag, Ill Advised, ameraal)
Lowest Vote: 2 (Jacques)


 
Onwards to SWEDEN

10th: Frans - If I Were Sorry (25pts)

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Fun fact, despite the absolute dreck that makes up the UK collective, this is by some distance the lowest scoring song across the entire round - and almost half of its points come from the solitary 12 it received from Jacques. :D

A massive streaming hit and walkover winner of Melodifestivalen 2016, this is arguably the Swedish Eurovision entry - hell, the anywhere Eurovision entry, that has the most relevance to where pop music currently stood at the back half of the 2010s. It's also the last time Sweden did considerably better on the televote than with the Jury.

Fuck me what a dreary little charisma vacuum though. The young people can have him.

Highest score: 12 (Jacques)
9 x 0s (VoR, Alla, kevin7, Penelope, Win_The_Game, Kalabaliken, Raining On Me, ameraal, Ill Advised)



 
Genuinely my third favourite entry of the Eurovision decade :(
 

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