lolly
Rowena? From Kuwait?
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2004
- Messages
- 172,899
Bonus points for star jumps and charisma
Moopyvision 2010-2019: Round 1: Sweden, UK & San Marino - RESULTS
- Thread starter VoR
- Start date
Bonus points for star jumps and charisma
VoR
Take it or leave it
9th: Josh DuBovie - That Sounds Good To Me (38pts)
No such excuses for this train wreck, which spectacularly squandered any good work done by Jade Ewan the previous year. Apparently Gary Barlow was in talks to pen the UK entry this year but pulled out at the last minute, so blame him I guess.
Anyway, the ever-available Pete Waterman was duly drafted in to provide a song that had in no way been dredged out of the Donovan/Astley reject bin circa 1989, and poor, poor Josh DuBovie was sent to Oslo to grimace through three of the most humiliating moments ever set upon the Eurovision stage.
The tragic final bum note is as perfect a summation as you could hope for, really.
Highest Score: 10 (Alla
)
6 x 0s (VoR, David_5000, Buttertart, Superstylin, Ag, Raining on Me)
No such excuses for this train wreck, which spectacularly squandered any good work done by Jade Ewan the previous year. Apparently Gary Barlow was in talks to pen the UK entry this year but pulled out at the last minute, so blame him I guess.
Anyway, the ever-available Pete Waterman was duly drafted in to provide a song that had in no way been dredged out of the Donovan/Astley reject bin circa 1989, and poor, poor Josh DuBovie was sent to Oslo to grimace through three of the most humiliating moments ever set upon the Eurovision stage.
The tragic final bum note is as perfect a summation as you could hope for, really.
Highest Score: 10 (Alla
)6 x 0s (VoR, David_5000, Buttertart, Superstylin, Ag, Raining on Me)
VoR
Take it or leave it
You gave it three. 2 for Anna B, 1 for Frans, 0 for Benjamin Ingrosso.
Penelope
striking, unique, 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘦𝘳
A result so mortifying he's changed his name and emigrated to Canada to become a self-help guru 
ButterTart
Succulent Chinese meal
I'm still ASTONISHED that Austrian entry did worse than us. Not least because the scat verse might have been the most disgusting musical moment of the decade.
(@Zu-Klara be a love and post the potato waffles clip would you)
WITH PLEASURE
VoR
Take it or leave it
8th: Engelbert Humperdinck - Love Will Set You Free (50pts)
After drafting in Blue for 2011 failed to achieve the expected returns, the BBC decided on another conceptual U-turn by leaning hard into Britain's musical legacy. A bona fide legend on the Eurovision stage - how could it fail?
Alas, poor old Engelbert seemed less a rousing blast of patriotism and more the grim spectre of death honking though his own funeral dirge while the saddest Catherine wheel in Eurovision history threatened to play havoc with his latest facelift in the background.
Not the worst song in the world, but how on earth anybody expected people to pick up the phones for it remains a mystery.
Highest score: 10 (Penelope)
2 x 0s (Jacques, kevin7)
After drafting in Blue for 2011 failed to achieve the expected returns, the BBC decided on another conceptual U-turn by leaning hard into Britain's musical legacy. A bona fide legend on the Eurovision stage - how could it fail?
Alas, poor old Engelbert seemed less a rousing blast of patriotism and more the grim spectre of death honking though his own funeral dirge while the saddest Catherine wheel in Eurovision history threatened to play havoc with his latest facelift in the background.
Not the worst song in the world, but how on earth anybody expected people to pick up the phones for it remains a mystery.
Highest score: 10 (Penelope)
2 x 0s (Jacques, kevin7)
VoR
Take it or leave it
7th: Joe & Jake - You're Not Alone (66pts)
The title of 'Eurovision: You Decide', always did tickle me. It sounded less like an invitation to a brave new dawn and more like a sigh of exasperation from the BBC. We don't have a bloody clue so fine, see if you can do any better!
Turns out we couldn't, although from the slim pickings on offer we probably made the best choice we could have with this peppy little slice of One Stop One Direction. Ultimately though, it was just far too forgettable to feel like anything other than a pleasant diversion in the context of the excellent Eurovision 2016 final.
Nothing to hate, but nothing to see either. From a glance at their social medias they seem like nice lads who still have a good relationship with their Eurovision experience, so kudos for that at least.
Highest score: 10 (David_5000, Superstylin')
2 x 0s: (Suomi, Kevin)
The title of 'Eurovision: You Decide', always did tickle me. It sounded less like an invitation to a brave new dawn and more like a sigh of exasperation from the BBC. We don't have a bloody clue so fine, see if you can do any better!
Turns out we couldn't, although from the slim pickings on offer we probably made the best choice we could have with this peppy little slice of One Stop One Direction. Ultimately though, it was just far too forgettable to feel like anything other than a pleasant diversion in the context of the excellent Eurovision 2016 final.
Nothing to hate, but nothing to see either. From a glance at their social medias they seem like nice lads who still have a good relationship with their Eurovision experience, so kudos for that at least.
Highest score: 10 (David_5000, Superstylin')
2 x 0s: (Suomi, Kevin)
Alla
Sábado noche 19 80
It was HARD to rank this pile of shit, to be honest.
VoR
Take it or leave it
6th: Michael Rice - Bigger Than Us (74pts)
Another for the 'best of a bad bunch at the national selection' reject pile. Unfortunately the 'X Factor Winners Single' vibe that resolutely doesn't wash at Eurovision is also a clear vote-winner at the national winner. Must be the misleading sense of triumphalism.
Beyond that, what is there to say, really? He sang it nicely enough, the stage show was... expected. Nobody jumped onstage and tried to murder him, so there's that. He will almost certainly never be heard from again. The UK's holding pattern of failure by mediocrity at its least inspiring.
Highest Score: 10 (Ill Advised)
1 x 0 (Alla)
Another for the 'best of a bad bunch at the national selection' reject pile. Unfortunately the 'X Factor Winners Single' vibe that resolutely doesn't wash at Eurovision is also a clear vote-winner at the national winner. Must be the misleading sense of triumphalism.
Beyond that, what is there to say, really? He sang it nicely enough, the stage show was... expected. Nobody jumped onstage and tried to murder him, so there's that. He will almost certainly never be heard from again. The UK's holding pattern of failure by mediocrity at its least inspiring.
Highest Score: 10 (Ill Advised)
1 x 0 (Alla)
lolly
Rowena? From Kuwait?
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2004
- Messages
- 172,899
Apart from my top one and bottom two, I pretty much could have selected randomly.
VoR
Take it or leave it
5th: Bonnie Tyler - Believe In Me (108pts)
A big leap in points as we enter the top 5 now. Unusually, despite Engelbert crashing and burning the previous year, the BBC decided to double down on courting the elderly homosexual market in 2013 by recruiting Welsh wonder Bonnie Tyler, who can at least claim that most viewers under the age of 40 had a fair chance of having heard of her at the time.
Perhaps controversially, I think this is the best song we've sent to Eurovision this decade, even if as a package it was clearly doomed from the start. It's really very rousing, and ropey old Gaynor gave it her emphysemic all. It wasn't to be, but in the grand scheme of things 19th place in Malmö should probably be considered a (very) quiet victory.
4 x 12s (VoR, Pingu, Win The Game, Suomi)
Lowest score: 2 (ameraal, David_5000)
A big leap in points as we enter the top 5 now. Unusually, despite Engelbert crashing and burning the previous year, the BBC decided to double down on courting the elderly homosexual market in 2013 by recruiting Welsh wonder Bonnie Tyler, who can at least claim that most viewers under the age of 40 had a fair chance of having heard of her at the time.
Perhaps controversially, I think this is the best song we've sent to Eurovision this decade, even if as a package it was clearly doomed from the start. It's really very rousing, and ropey old Gaynor gave it her emphysemic all. It wasn't to be, but in the grand scheme of things 19th place in Malmö should probably be considered a (very) quiet victory.
4 x 12s (VoR, Pingu, Win The Game, Suomi)
Lowest score: 2 (ameraal, David_5000)
VoR
Take it or leave it
4th: SuRie - Storms (112pts)
A confounding package, this, in that it really did have everything going for it except a decent chorus. Once again, it cruised through the BBC selection on the strength of Pizza Express doyenne SuRie's self-assured presence and charisma, but once it got to Lisbon not even a dramatic stage invasion (and a genuinely impressive recovery) could help it rise above the pack.
A missed opportunity, really.
1x 12 (Penelope)
Lowest score: 4 (lolly, Win_The_Game)
A confounding package, this, in that it really did have everything going for it except a decent chorus. Once again, it cruised through the BBC selection on the strength of Pizza Express doyenne SuRie's self-assured presence and charisma, but once it got to Lisbon not even a dramatic stage invasion (and a genuinely impressive recovery) could help it rise above the pack.
A missed opportunity, really.
1x 12 (Penelope)
Lowest score: 4 (lolly, Win_The_Game)
Alla
Sábado noche 19 80
I knew you were going to put that picture, poor Surie
VoR
Take it or leave it
3rd: Molly - Children of the Universe (131pts)
An internal selection from a BBC favoured up and comer who'd previously lent (uncredited) vocals to a top ten dance hit for Sash!, Molly was another that had plenty of promise on paper, and to be fair the expectation of success followed her all the way to Copenhagen.
Ultimately, she didn't really scream superstar in waiting, and in a contest featuring the likes of Conchita, Sanna and Ruth Lorenzo, she couldn't help but feel a bit... Budgens, by comparison.
I haven't checked, but I bet she spent a lot of 2019 posting pro-Jeremy Corbyn memes on her Facebook page. She just seems the sort.
2x 12 points (Jacques, superstylin')
Lowest Score: 2 (Pingu, Alla)
An internal selection from a BBC favoured up and comer who'd previously lent (uncredited) vocals to a top ten dance hit for Sash!, Molly was another that had plenty of promise on paper, and to be fair the expectation of success followed her all the way to Copenhagen.
Ultimately, she didn't really scream superstar in waiting, and in a contest featuring the likes of Conchita, Sanna and Ruth Lorenzo, she couldn't help but feel a bit... Budgens, by comparison.
I haven't checked, but I bet she spent a lot of 2019 posting pro-Jeremy Corbyn memes on her Facebook page. She just seems the sort.
2x 12 points (Jacques, superstylin')
Lowest Score: 2 (Pingu, Alla)
Alla
Sábado noche 19 80
One of the lowest scores to come is probably mine, I never understood the love for that song.
VoR
Take it or leave it
Blue vs Lucie then... As discussed, this really went to the wire.
Alla
Sábado noche 19 80
That's the one, I guess the lowest score is mine? I remember the fist time I listened to Molly's song, everyone was "wow" and I was like "really?".
Alla
Sábado noche 19 80
Hopefully you chose the right one.
VoR
Take it or leave it
2nd: Lucie Jones - Never Give Up On You (152pts)
Just pipped to the post by lolly's tiebreaking vote, X Factor veteran Lucie Jones and her Emmelie DeForest-penned ballad.
Hardly reinventing the wheel, but a lovely song, well-sung and by somebody who appeared not to have been dragged up from a provincial karaoke night was the low bar Lucie easily cleared for us in 2017. As a long-time Eurovision attendee, it was genuinely refreshing to be able to fully get behind a UK entry *and* see some action in the jury voting - even if the televotes brought us right back down to earth again. I loved how she sat through the whole thing with a fist full of glitter just in case somebody gave us douze points - cheers, Australia!
She seems to have done well out of the whole thing too, winning a plum West End role in that Waitress musical and touring the country in Legally Blonde. Good for her!
5 x 12 (Buttertart, Kalabaliken, Ag, Ill Advised, ameraal)
Lowest score: 3 (Suomi)
1st: Blue - I Can (154pts)
Easily the biggest names we've attracted to Eurovision this decade in terms of having had hits in the same generational timespan as the contest, Blue was always going to be a bit of an all-or-nothing gamble in Dusseldorf. Ultimately, 11th was a pretty disappointing finish given the hype, but hey, still our best result of the decade!
It should be noted that they also finished 3rd on the televote, though sadly at a time when only nerds like us had an opportunity to notice. I Can isn't a great song to my ears, but at least it didn't massive condescend to the Eurovision audience and essentially sounded like what it was - a half-decent Blue single.
Anyway, congratulations Blue for being the best of a very bad bunch! Who knew Lee Ryan would ever be involved in winning a Moopy popularity contest!
6x 12s: (David_5000, Alla, Kevin, Kevin7, Raining On Me, lolly)
Lowest score: 2 (superstylin', Penelope)
Just pipped to the post by lolly's tiebreaking vote, X Factor veteran Lucie Jones and her Emmelie DeForest-penned ballad.
Hardly reinventing the wheel, but a lovely song, well-sung and by somebody who appeared not to have been dragged up from a provincial karaoke night was the low bar Lucie easily cleared for us in 2017. As a long-time Eurovision attendee, it was genuinely refreshing to be able to fully get behind a UK entry *and* see some action in the jury voting - even if the televotes brought us right back down to earth again. I loved how she sat through the whole thing with a fist full of glitter just in case somebody gave us douze points - cheers, Australia!
She seems to have done well out of the whole thing too, winning a plum West End role in that Waitress musical and touring the country in Legally Blonde. Good for her!
5 x 12 (Buttertart, Kalabaliken, Ag, Ill Advised, ameraal)
Lowest score: 3 (Suomi)
1st: Blue - I Can (154pts)
Easily the biggest names we've attracted to Eurovision this decade in terms of having had hits in the same generational timespan as the contest, Blue was always going to be a bit of an all-or-nothing gamble in Dusseldorf. Ultimately, 11th was a pretty disappointing finish given the hype, but hey, still our best result of the decade!
It should be noted that they also finished 3rd on the televote, though sadly at a time when only nerds like us had an opportunity to notice. I Can isn't a great song to my ears, but at least it didn't massive condescend to the Eurovision audience and essentially sounded like what it was - a half-decent Blue single.
Anyway, congratulations Blue for being the best of a very bad bunch! Who knew Lee Ryan would ever be involved in winning a Moopy popularity contest!
6x 12s: (David_5000, Alla, Kevin, Kevin7, Raining On Me, lolly)
Lowest score: 2 (superstylin', Penelope)
Alla
Sábado noche 19 80
GinAg (39)
User
- Pronouns
- He/Him
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2009
- Messages
- 229,344
Lucie was great. The only UK performance of the last decade worth rewatching.
GinAg (39)
User
- Pronouns
- He/Him
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2009
- Messages
- 229,344
Alla
Sábado noche 19 80
Penelope
striking, unique, 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘦𝘳
A true 12/10 moment
GinAg (39)
User
- Pronouns
- He/Him
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2009
- Messages
- 229,344
not shade
Penelope
striking, unique, 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘦𝘳
VoR for the last eight hours
GinAg (39)
User
- Pronouns
- He/Him
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2009
- Messages
- 229,344
The Lucie remix is 
.
.
Alla
Sábado noche 19 80
Are you going to reveal the next 3 countries?
ButterTart
Succulent Chinese meal
I know I'm common and have no taste, but Blue and Lucie are two of my favourite (Well, top 50) Eurovision songs of the last decade.
Alla
Sábado noche 19 80
Kevin
Niet meer zo lang geleden
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2009
- Messages
- 23,893
That sounds more like eurofan fantasy to justify their poor result.
If I remember correctly it was Ewan Spence of escinsight. I think he asked those two of Electro Velvet if they knew about the jury show because Blue didn’t. Apparently. Perhaps @VoR can check.
GinAg (39)
User
- Pronouns
- He/Him
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2009
- Messages
- 229,344
Correct. They were pretty rubbish in the actual final.That sounds more like eurofan fantasy to justify their poor result.